Think Of No One Else, My Love
by Bailieboro
Summary: Camelot: A kingdom, where to stay alive, love must be hidden, even denied.
1. Chapter 1

**Life in Camelot for Merlin and Arthur, continues in THINK OF NO ONE ELSE, MY LOVE ****the sequel to Raining Cats and Lovers and Be on Your Guard, Love**

**Camelot: A kingdom, where to stay alive, love must be hidden, even denied.**

**CHAPTER 1 : A RELATIONSHIP UNDER SEIGE**

The following day was one of the saddest for Camelot in recent history. The bodies of one of her knights and three of her squires were escorted into the main courtyard by seven knights. The bodies were in a farmer's wagon with Sir Leon riding beside the driver.

Sir Rupert, Sir Leon and Sir Rodik approached the king who was standing at the bottom of the steps. The talked quietly as the bodies were removed from the wagon and laid on the biers. Sir Rodik took his position beside Daffyd's. Gavin stood with the Squire Master representing all the squires.

Uther walked in front of each bier followed by Arthur and Sir Rupert. They returned to the steps. Sir Rupert stood beside him and raised his sword and the knights and the knights in training did the same. He said "For the Love of Camelot!" The response echoed through the previously silent courtyard.

A detachment of knights stepped forward, to carry the biers, to the resting places that had already been prepared in the Castle Cemetery, just outside the walls. Gavin stepped forward to follow them. The Squire Master glanced at Arthur who nodded his head. If Gavin needed to see his friends buried, so be it. Merlin glanced at Gavin, walking quietly with tears running down his cheeks. He was pleased to see the Squire Master say something to him and put his hand on the boy's shoulders as they followed the knights.

Sir Leon and Sir Rupert followed Gavin. The former would have to return after the burial to see Gaius as he was still plagued with headaches.

Uther turned and walked up the stairs with his advisors.

And, as suddenly as everyone had arrived, the courtyard was empty save for Merlin and Arthur who seemed miles away. Merlin looked at him and said, "Arthur, your father has left, we can go in now."

"What? Oh, yes, I was just thinking of the parents who have not yet heard of their sons' deaths and they will have already been buried and part of Camelot's history." With that thought in mind, Arthur abruptly turned to follow the cortege of Knights and Squires to the cemetery.

Merlin knew that Arthur's love belonged completely to him but he had to share him on occasion with his people. Today, was one of those instances. As Crown Prince, he represented the King and Kingdom. Arthur Pendragon would stand _in loco parentis_ by the graves until the bodies of the deceased squires, were interred. Merlin without a moment's thought, turned to follow the man who had completely captivated his heart.

* * *

><p>The strategies for the upcoming battles were long winded and took up nearly all of Arthur's time.<p>

Merlin wanted to take Arthur away from all the daily responsibilities, schedules and other people. He would so love to have him to himself, when he could steal him away from Camelot, sadly not to a cave but possibly somewhere close by and secret.

He still had the quest in his life during these days, to find somewhere in the castle far away from prying eyes, their own secret place. He'd bide his time but he was determined to find something. This was a dream he had and one day, he would find a hideaway, known only to him which he could share with someone special...

Yes, they had the nights but often Arthur was exhausted. His father had the annoying habit of calling for him at any time of the day or night. They spent all day discussing the kingdom's military matters and as Uther wasn't the greatest sleeper, he had no compunction in calling for his advisors.

A messenger would tap on the chamber door announcing that the king wished to see the crown prince. Merlin would groan and Arthur would struggle to his feet. Because the meeting was being held in the king's chambers, it was acceptable for the prince to go informally with his dressing robe over his night clothes but still Merlin had to help him get dressed. Arthur would then go off and Merlin by then fully dressed would drag after him to be in attendance. He often wished that Arthur would say, "You don't have to get up. Stay here and keep the bed warm until I return." But he didn't and Merlin's absence would reflect badly on Arthur so he traipsed along.

Merlin could have cried as so often it was just rehashing, what had been discussed the previous day or evening. Why Uther couldn't read a book when he couldn't sleep, Merlin never knew. He never paid attention and often Arthur had to nudge him as he started to list to one side on his stool. He'd never hear the end of it if Merlin fell asleep and landed on the floor. No matter that, he often felt like doing the same.

Many times, dawn was beginning to paint the eastern sky, and the stars were disappearing when Uther would suddenly say, "Very well. I'll see everyone after breakfast."

The life of a Crown Prince was not all that it was made out to be, Merlin realised. He didn't believe that Uther realised that Arthur had a life beyond being Crown Prince, which in retrospect was a good thing. A life so well hidden that it was not discussed or acknowledged. Therefore as far as he was concerned, his son was available on demand.

What Arthur and the rest of the advisors and council members needed was a day off. A couple of hours spent riding cross country or visiting with their families. An afternoon rest to revitalize them, a change of scenery, to retire in the early evening and sleep, this was what they all needed.

One day, Arthur and he did just that, they ran away and hid, not anywhere very exciting but way up among the turrets of the castle. The day was warm and sunny and Merlin had previously taken a couple of blankets up to the flat walkway below the turret. There was ample place to walk around, sit and talk. He brought lunch with him and they settled in for a lazy afternoon. There was some kissing and cuddling but soon Merlin realised that Arthur was falling asleep in his arms. He was full of apologies but he couldn't stop yawning. Merlin made him comfortable and sat beside him with his back against the warm wall of the turret.

'Who'd want to be a crown prince?' Merlin thought... He was wakened by the crows returning to their nests and realised that Arthur would have to be woken to get ready for supper. He leaned over him, stroking his cheeks and kissed him gently saying, "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!"

Arthur stretched, without opening his eyes and said, "Merlin, is it already morning? Come here and show me why I love you?" He reached to pull Merlin closer to him.

Merlin felt mean but he knew that this was not the time to encourage Arthur so he said, "Wake up, sleepy head! It's late afternoon and you have to be getting ready for supper."

"But, I'm not hungry..."

"No matter. Your father will expect you in the Dining Room to eat with the Council and Advisors. Open your eyes. We're not in our chambers, we're up on the castle roof."

Arthur's eyes opened and he saw his surroundings. "Oh, I'm sorry. This was supposed to be our special time and I wasted it by sleeping."

"It wasn't wasted, it was lovely Arthur as I had you to myself for five hours and there was no one here but you and me. You needed your sleep and I was fascinated watching you. You make little snuffling sounds and at one point you were dreaming and you mumbled, 'Love you and only you Merlin.' Thank you Arthur, that alone made my day!" He didn't confess that he had become quite emotional when he had heard Arthur confirm his love.

* * *

><p>Merlin was waiting for the times to return to normal. Hunting often at the break of dawn, which feeling as he did now, he would welcome with open arms. Morning training sessions even with all the cleaning and weaponry care would have pleased him and afternoon excursions just because they could, would be great. Early evenings with no distractions, just sitting in companionable silence, before supper and then returning to their chambers, as Merlin now considered them, with the night ahead of them.<p>

He was now expected to be present at the Council Meetings, sitting behind Arthur's chair, ready to see to his every need, a drink or whatever else his master wanted as lunch was served during the meetings. He'd also served at supper and noticed the other senior knights looking exhausted but it was only Arthur about whom he worried.

He loved him so deeply that hearing him questioning his own ability to one day rule the kingdom, hurt him. It was just a bad period of time with so much border activity that meetings and combative excursions by the knights were de rigueur daily. However, Arthur against his wishes, was confined to Camelot and the Council Chamber. He knew he should be with his knights but his father adamantly refused. He wanted him with the council and that was that.

Arthur had so little energy that accept for cuddling and kissing, their cave-days were almost forgotten. One evening, he was sitting dozing before the fire, with Merlin at his feet leaning against his legs. Merlin put his head back onto his knees and looking up at him said, "One day, I promise, I'm going to make you smile for twelve hours."

Arthur laughed. "Your voice says the words but you mouth upside down looks as if you are speaking gibberish."

"You're doing it too from here...Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, a smile that lasts for twelve hours would entail some interesting forethought."

Looking down at Merlin's upside down face, Arthur smiled softly suggesting, "_Chapter:V Subsection:XIX_, I hope? Kiss me!" but that was easier said than done as their noses and chins, got in the way.

Merlin got up, walking behind him and wrapped him in his arms; keeping his arms around his neck, he nuzzled in his blonde hair. He was all Merlin wanted in the world. He could quite happily remain like this all day, holding and protecting the one he loved. He craved bodily contact, holding his arms around a special someone and being held by someone, that person only being Arthur. He smiled as Arthur leant his head back onto his chest, he blew down into his eyes so he closed them.

Merlin whispered, "I'm 'with thee withersoever thou goest'!"

"You say the sappiest things, Merlin. Come here, you never did kiss me!"

* * *

><p>Gaius advised Merlin against using magic. Merlin unhappy, feeling unloved, wanted to whisk Arthur far away to let them be themselves once again. He agreed to listen to Gaius who explained that the kingdom's military alert would soon end, peace would be restored, everything would then return to normal.<p>

Merlin thought, '... or would it?'

Merlin worried that stress and continual differences between Arthur and himself, would cause irreparable damage to their relationship. Arthur was wound up so tightly that he continually thrashed at night, calling out defensive commands and woke up hollow eyed and non-rested.

Merlin after one really bad session, had crept bruised and sad to the antechamber to spend the rest of the night alone. Arthur called out for him once. He waited but as his name was never repeated, Merlin felt it had been a dream, hopefully not a nightmare. He just dozed the rest of the night, he felt strange on the little cot, alone and unloved.

Arthur awoke for breakfast the following morning looking haggard, he didn't say anything or even smile in Merlin's direction. He sat down at the table, head in his hands, picking at his breakfast.

"Did you sleep well?" No answer. "You're not hungry?" No answer, it was like talking to the flagstones. He decided to try again, "Arthur, what would you like me to lay out for you this morning?" This last question used to cause at least a raised eyebrow or a suggestion which often left Merlin blushing. Nothing!

Arthur growled, "What do I look like an encyclopaedia? Chose something, I'm only going to be stuck in the Council Chamber all day."

He washed and allowed a subdued Merlin to help him dress in silence.

Merlin thought back to the occasions which Arthur used to refer to as, inappropriate touching by a royal dresser, which was punishable by death or whatever else he chose. Those were happy days...

"Merlin, what are you doing, you are supposed to be pulling up my boots!"

"Yes, your royal Sireness, my hand slipped. A thousand apologies!"

"Well, see that it doesn't... Merlin! ... maybe the concept of a dresser is beyond you. You are supposed to be a second pair of hands to facilitate my dressing, not a distraction, not an interruption, not a... Merlin!"

Merlin would happily suffer the consequences for said charges, usually complaining that there had, after all, been mitigating circumstances and possibly guilt by association.

However no more, those days seemed distant...

Again today, once dressed, Arthur turned without a word, and passed through the open door with not even a glance at his friend holding it. Merlin would follow Arthur once their room had been tidied. He was no longer doing stable duties which gave him more time to attend the prince. Not that he even seemed to notice him...

Locking the door, Merlin leaned against it and all the troubles of his world came crushing down on him. He walked to the bed, lying on Arthur's side, resting his head on his pillow, smelling the mint essence of the shampoo he used. He lay there dreaming of better days. He smiled to himself, he knew that Arthur did still love him but at the moment he was having to compete with Camelot.

And she was a worthy competitor...


	2. Chapter 2

**Life in Camelot for Merlin and Arthur, continues in THINK OF NO ONE ELSE, LOVE ****the sequel to RAINING CATS AND LOVERS and BE ON YOUR GUARD, LOVE **

**Camelot: A kingdom, where to stay alive, love must be hidden, even denied.**

**CHAPTER 2 : MANOEUVRES MILITARY AND OTHERWISE**

Finally, Uther's troops gained the upper hand and the peace negotiations began. This was more to Merlin's liking. They visited outlying areas, sometimes having to spend a few days camping. Excellent, already Merlin was planning his evening activities, but no life is without hurdles, and his came in the choice of knights who accompanied them. They were saddled with, a company of young knights, who kept their eyes trained on their Crown prince continually. None to be trusted with little indiscretions, which their regular friends ignored giving them space to be themselves whenever possible. He missed the 'knights in the know' who would defend them loyally.

A wink, a hand on a shoulder for a second longer than necessary, bedrolls close enough to link fingers once everyone was asleep; as simple as they were, these little occasions re-sparked the love that had been dormant during the military offensive.

Riding ahead of the others, Merlin looked over at Arthur and quietly whistled, the prince turned and Merlin put his right hand over his heart and patted it four times in succession, winked and then pointed at Arthur. He was rewarded with a smile. They would be back in Camelot by late afternoon and they were both looking forward to twelve hours of uninterrupted privacy.

* * *

><p>Well, twelve hours wasn't what Uther had in mind as he requested his son's presence upon his return. Arthur cleaned himself up and chose what he would wear to the meeting. Merlin supervised the dressing remaining remarkable low key. His eyes were downcast as he followed the Prince across the bed chamber, with a quick manoeuvre, he had backed Arthur against the door pinning him there.<p>

He smiled sweetly, "I'll stand behind your chair for enough time for you to make your report. I will then walk behind Uther's chair and start disrobing just for you." With that he gave his Prince a preview by kissing him...

Arthur tried to kiss him back but Merlin moved out of his reach. "We can discuss anything further, when we're back here,"...and pushed him out into the corridor, following him with eyes cast down and a big grin on his face.

As Merlin opened the large Council Chamber door, he not so innocently brushed against Arthur, managing to touch him. The Prince pushed him away, turning, a blush spread over his face and he said under his breath, "Fuck you, Merlin!"

Merlin smiled sweetly and said, "Yes, please, Arthur!"

They walked across the room and Merlin stood behind Arthur's chair. Gaius and Sir Rupert were also present.

Once his report was finished and Uther was asking questions, Merlin, as promised, moved nonchalantly across Arthur's peripheral vision to stand in full view, behind Uther's chair. He stood unmoving. He looked straight at Arthur challenging him. He put one hand on his hip, shifting his weight provocatively.

Arthur's eyes were on him, he stammered answering his father's questions and Uther lifted his head to look at his son.

Gaius and Rupert also privileged to the showdown, looked at Arthur questioningly. Gaius raised an eye brow as Merlin languidly raised his arm, trailing it slowly along the side of his body to his neckerchief.

Giving Arthur a come hither look, he shifted his weight to his other hip, slowly raising the hand from his hip and used both hands to slowly undo it. He licked his lips, then slowly removed it, letting it go over his shoulder.

Rupert covered his laughter by coughing loudly. Gaius grinned putting his head in his hands as he wiped his eyes. He was thoroughly enjoying the power contest between his almost-son and his Prince. His money was on Merlin, hands down.

Arthur tried to answer his father's question but his mind wouldn't work. His eyes were drawn to the most important person in the whole world, telling him that he wanted to be with him.

Merlin took his hand and started to languidly open his jacket... running his hand down his chest to his stomach, his eyes half lidded.

Arthur suddenly stood up, "Father, I'm too tired to continue now. Please excuse me. I will speak with you further tomorrow."

Merlin whose hand was on the laces at his waistband stopped. His face lit up into the most spectacular grin. Arthur had chosen him. He grabbed his neckerchief and walked over to Arthur's side. Not making eye contact.

Arthur turned to leave followed by Merlin. Gaius rose and applauded as Merlin passed him. Merlin grinned happily.

Gaius saw Uther looking at him, he swallowed, "Er...excellent report, Arthur. Don't you think he did a good job, Uther?" He sat down.

Uther said, "Yes. Very well, Arthur, I'll see you at lunch day after tomorrow. We have all worked hard during this campaign. You deserve a couple of days for yourself."

Arthur stood at the door and said, "Thank you, Sire. Good Night, Father."

He nodded at Gaius who caught his eye, raising one eyebrow. Arthur grinned blushing, as he nodded to Rupert.

Merlin opened the door for him, with the word, "Sire?" then turned slightly, nodding at Gaius and Rupert, smiled and closed the door.

Gaius was sure he heard laughter, whooping and running feet...

Merlin made his way to the kitchens and picked out something for them to eat. The cook gave him choice pieces of what was to be served for supper later in the evening. She also included a jug of wine. Merlin returned to their chambers and they enjoyed the food. The fact that they would have all night to themselves without any interruptions, kept a smile on Merlin's face. They sat at the table drinking.

Arthur was stupefied that Merlin had gone through with his threat. He kept chuckling, "How far would you have gone Merlin?

"Oh, Arthur, I was only warming up, if necessary I would have gone the whole way!"

"My father would have had a stroke if he could have seen you. Gaius and Sir Rupert also seemed to have enjoyed the show"

"Well, next time, I intend to sell tickets and do it at a Council Meeting."

"No, you won't! Next time you do it, it will be in the privacy of our own chambers, for yours truly!" Arthur wasn't worried, this was the Merlin who had been too embarrassed to change clothes in front of him.

'However,' thought Merlin, 'If push came to shove, the next time, I might actually do the 'full monty'!'

Arthur delicately said, "Well, I'm tired. I'm turning in. How about you?"

"I'll wait a little while, as I can still see the remnants of the sunset in the western sky! I'm not tired, I'll clean up the room and do a little repairing of your tunic, but you go to bed, I'll join you later."

Next thing Merlin knew was a hand across his chest and he was physically lifted and dumped on the bed.

"Now!" Arthur laughed, "We're not playing games..."

"Not yet..." was Merlin's reply.

* * *

><p>They had a whole day and a half to themselves. After lunch, they climbed to the highest part of the castle and sat against the turret walls, enjoying the scenery and being alone with no prying eyes. Arthur sat against the turret wall with Merlin in front of him leaning against his chest. They relaxed and talked, no one any the wiser that they were there, no one except the clouds, an occasional hawk and the crows.<p>

Merlin, do you remember growing up?"

"Of course, don't you?"

"Yes..."

"What used you to do?"

"Went to Geoffrey for lessons; Martin for sword practice; Thomas for riding lessons."

"Who was your best friend?"

"I had one but he left when I was around nine. Then, I never had a real one until you. Did you have any friends, Merlin?"

"Yes, some but especially Will." Merlin looked down and Arthur realised that there was still sadness about Will's death. "Who was your friend, Arthur, did he die?"

"No, there was a misunderstanding with a knight and my father didn't believe us and Rudyard was sent away."

"What happened?"

"It's not important."

Merlin wanted to laugh. He knew when Arthur was lying. "Come on, Arthur tell me! We promised no secrets."

Arthur looked at him and smiled. "You're not going to like it. I was brought up here by Gaius. Sir Rupert's oldest son was called Rudyard and we used to play together." Arthur's voice brightened as he remembered all the good times. "When we were older, we were even allowed to go riding by ourselves."

"There was a knight called Sir Talbot. One hot summer day, as a special treat, Rudd and I were allowed to go by ourselves on a picnic. We went to the little lake near Castle Farm. We had lunch, messed around and then decided to go swimming. It was so hot that we just lay on the beach to dry. Then we started rough housing and wrestling. Merlin, we were two kids."

"We heard horses and looked up to see Sir Rupert and Sir Talbot. I really disliked him as he used to pick on me. If we were in the corridor, he'd purposely walk into me, saying, 'Prince, eh!' He never did anything in front of anyone except Rudd and finally I told Gaius. He said to ignore him. So we did..."

"Why didn't he, do something?"

"Well, I guess he didn't think it was that important.

Sir Rupert told us to get dressed and we could hop up on the horses and ride double back to the castle. We did as told but neither of us wanted to ride with Sir Talbot, so like monkeys, we both climbed up on Sir Rupert's horse. It was fun, we thought we were both 'kings of the castle' riding into Camelot on a destrier."

The next morning, Rudd and I were at our lessons with Geoffrey when a squire came and gave a note to him. Geoffrey said that Sir Rupert wanted to see Rudd. He was happy to get out of class and go with his father. I never saw him again.

I was in disgrace. My father said that I was a disappointment to him. I didn't know why, he took away my horse and my training classes. I went to the only person I trusted, Gaius. I asked him, what had happened, what had I done and where was Rudd? He explained that Sir Talbot had lied about us and Uther had believed him over Sir Rupert. That didn't help much, so I kept asking what did he say, we had done?"

Finally, I went to the king and he bluntly told me what Sir Talbot had reported had been happening on the beach and that was why I was in trouble and Rudyard was gone. Next, I went to Sir Rupert but he had gone away for a few days. When he came back, I went to him and he explained that Sir Talbot had lied about what we had been doing but that Rudd was now a squire in training at his uncle, the Earl of Warwick.

I remember Sir Rupert told me, 'Arthur, when you are grown up and have children, always be a father first and a king second.'

"I've never heard anyone talk about a Sir Talbot." Merlin said.

"You won't. He made my life a misery after that. He'd accidentally jam me into door ways or push me into the wall, or knock my books out of my hands but always when there was no one to see. Gaius intervened with the king but my father told Gaius that I was too soft and that it was about time that grew up. It was shortly after that that I started training with the squires

One day, Sir Max and Sir Talbot went out on patrol and later Sir Max returned with Sir Talbot's body tied to his horse. Nothing was ever said. There was no knight's burial and all Gaius would say was 'Good riddance to bad rubbish!' I haven't thought about that bastard for so long."

"And what about Rudd?"

"Well, he is one of his uncle's knights. I sometimes see him at tournaments but we have little in common. I'm now the Crown Prince and not a nine year old boy. Sir Rupert told me that he is now married with a little boy of his own amd he proudly said that he was called Arthur." Arthur smiled as that proved that Rudd had really not forgotten him.

Merlin decided that as Arthur seemed happy with his memories that he wouldn't push him any further. Life as a crown prince growing up must have been tough if you had to worry about vindictive knights and a disinterested father. Merlin thought, 'Thank God for people like Gaius and Sir Rupert!'

"How about you? Was there a tutor in Eleador?"

"No, my Mam taught me how to read and it was easy once I got it figured out. We were the only people in the village with any books except the headman who made tallies of grain with ticks and X's. My mother had books on herbs and medicine. It wasn't like a story of a battle or anything but it was fun to read on rainy days and winter nights.

One winter, a stranger came to the village and stayed till Spring, he even showed me how to copy the letters in the books and print them with a stick on the dirt. My Mam fed him supper and in return he taught me. He was nice, he taught me some Latin. I missed him when he left.

Then things got difficult. I fell out with the village children because I was different and I only had Will.

My Mam felt I should live away from the village and due to my lack of luck, I ended up in Camelot."

"But, you like it here now, don't you?"

"Well, it wouldn't be bad, if I didn't have a job working for an overbearing, royal Prat with an oversized ego and little between the ears." Merlin turned and looked at the prince who had his eyes wide open in shock and what looked to Merlin like worry lines across his forehead.

"Honestly, Arthur, do I look like the kind of person who would share a bed with someone of that description? Of course I like it here. Where'er you go, I goether; where'er you stop, I stoppeth; where'er you tread, I treadeth; where'er you sit, I sitteth; where'er you lie, I li...eth ..."

"Knock it off ,Merlin, I get the picture! Come to think of it, if we return to the chambers now, we might experiment to see if you'd agree that where'er I... He leaned over and whispered in Merlin's ear.

Merlin said, "Your Majesty, I do not believe that that is in my job description... but as my dear old granny used to say, 'For he that naught n'assieth, naught n'acheveth'!"

"Your granny never said that..."

"Well, maybe not my granny but Chaucer did!"

"What does it mean?"

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained." With that Merlin was on his feet, tugging Arthur up and the two of them went down the tower stairs laughing...


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3: A GRATIOUS AND COURTEOUS GUEST**

Uther summoned Arthur into his presence, one midwinter day. Camelot would be playing host to Prince Willfrid Marcus of Lander, son of King Ine of Dunmonia and second in line for the throne. A guest until the Ides of March, Uther expected Arthur to show him the hospitality for which Camelot was renowned.

"Nothing he demands should be refused. See to it, that he is entertained and treated as an important guest. He will be delivering messages from his father and you will attend with him all advisory and council meetings regarding these missives. I am trusting you, Arthur, to make this visit worthy of his status and reflective of Camelot's standing among kingdoms of Albion."

Arthur bowed and trailed by Merlin, left the Council Hall. Once along the corridor and away from the guards who were outside any room which the king occupied, Arthur showed his annoyance by saying ,"Shit!"

Merlin glanced at him saying. "That for any knight is rather a tame word, to express frustration." He grinned and continued, "Surely Arthur, you meant, 'Fuck'!"

Arthur turned and grinned back. They both realised that all their plans, had gone up in smoke. During this season, when usually things were quiet due to the weather and difficulty of travel, they had planned to relax in each other's company without any of the constraints of a busy court. Now, they would be entertaining a second-in-line Prince.

"I'm not a bloody child-carer for Prince Well-Fried Mushroom or whatever he was called." Arthur said as he stomped down the stairs.

Merlin said, "I believe his name is Prince Willfrid Marcus of Lander. Maybe he won't be too bad..."

"Maybe not, but the very fact that he will be with us the whole time, will rather put a kyebosh on any spontaneous decisions, 'above or below the board' for that matter!"

"Kyebosh?"

"Something which stops, a barrier to something! Merlin, I do wish that you would keep abreast of the current English language, ever heard of Charles Dickens? No, well he used it, so that's good enough for me!"

Merlin shrugged... sometimes he knew Arthur thought he was obscure but who was this Dickens? He'd have to check with Geoffrey, he might know.

As the king's summons had come as they were about to ride around Kenelm Tor, they continued to the stables. The fresh cold air, cleared their minds and as they returned, Arthur had not exactly forgotten Well-Fried but was preoccupied with what he and Merlin might get up to before having to get dressed for supper.

They wandered into the stable yard and Merlin took the horses, Arthur chatted with the Master of the Horse until Merlin joined him. They then returned to their chambers, on the way Merlin casually said, "I think Well-Fried has arrived. There are strange horses in the far stables, a couple of exceptional ones and a different groom seeing to them.

* * *

><p>Prince Willfrid Marcus of Lander had arrived, He was accompanied by two guards, a steward, a manservant, a groom and two fine looking horses. The Royal Steward had stepped forward to take care of the prince's servants.<p>

Prince Willfrid had been taken to the Council Room to be greeted by the King and his Council. After Uther had given the traditional welcome, missives were received. Uther handed the prince over to Sir Rupert. He and his manservant were taken to their rooms. Sir Rupert mentioned that as the prince had arrived during the Crown Prince's absence, the prince would meet him at supper.

Well-Fried or Lander as he preferred to be known, turned out to be a charming, hazel eyed, dark, curly-haired, twenty-five year old, knockout. Arthur managed to catch Merlin's eye and raised his eyebrows. This was looking better by the minute. The prince was handsome and had all the attributes which would have made him admired by women and men alike, tall, lean, broad shouldered, V shaped torso, expanded chest and handsome. Arthur was fascinated and Merlin could appreciate what he was seeing. He'd expected a stodgy, middle aged, thin haired man and here instead was someone whom he felt might settle in quickly and actually be easy for Arthur to entertain.

His steward and groom remained in Camelot but the guards and his manservant returned to Dunmonia, Arthur arranged for Humphrey who had been his manservant as he was growing up to see to Lander's needs for the duration of his visit.

Apart from the fact that Arthur and Lander seemed to spend hours in the Council Chamber, the time passed quickly. Lander enjoyed hunting and riding so he fitted in nicely with Arthur's winter schedule. He happily joined in with the regular knights training sessions and was well liked by the other knights. He was willing to join Arthur and his chosen knights at the alehouse and insisted paying for rounds. On rainy cold days, he played cards with Arthur or visited the library. Arthur arranged for some knights to keep him occupied but he seemed happiest tagging along after Arthur.

He didn't ignore Merlin, he chatted to him and Arthur felt slightly jealous. However, Merlin never encouraged him, just treated him as one would expect a servant to treat his master's guest. Arthur hoped that Lander realised that. The prince fitted in wherever he went and was no trouble at all except that...

...Lander was a mite too cloying for Arthur's liking ... he was continually around. To begin with Arthur had found him easy going, pleasant and certainly willing to fit in but he found that having him practically attached at the hip was not conducive to his normal freedom. He felt that this enforced companionship was stifling.

Merlin had by default become a tag-along. And although Merlin never complained about it, Arthur didn't like it. Apart from during official business, he wanted Merlin at his side, not forced to being a couple of steps or even further behind, separated by a third party, a shadow who was beginning to get on Arthur's nerves.

Arthur had talked Leon into taking the visitor off his hands for a day. Leon suggested a trip to a nearby village renowned for its defensive earth wall formations, alehouse and double horned Jacob sheep. Lander had immediately asked if Arthur would be going. When Sir Leon replied in the negative, Lander said he preferred to stay with Arthur.

"Arthur, I'm sorry, he seems to only want to be with you. Can't understand it, he seems fixated on you." Then with a gleam in his eyes, he cheekily said, "Guess, Merlin is really fed up, having to play second fiddle!"

Arthur grinned at one of Merlin's and his close friends and supporters, saying. "I think, he's about ready to give up on me. I'm expecting an ultimatum any day. It's alright Leon, thanks for trying."

* * *

><p>It was getting uncomfortable. Merlin and he had been excessively careful when the prince was around, if anything too careful as far as Arthur was concerned. He was feeling that their lives were no longer their own and his time with Merlin was less than satisfactory. Lander seemed to be everywhere, quite at ease in Arthur's chambers to the point of walking in without knocking. Merlin and he had put their love life, on a back burner for the time being.<p>

Arthur was beginning to get antsy, he wanted his life back and that life revolved around not only Camelot and a visiting prince but more importantly Merlin. The stress was beginning to show and although Merlin was understanding, Arthur could also pick up his annoyance. He was no longer the chatterbox, he seemed to do his job and then disappear until he was due to wait on him.

Arthur knew that if he wasn't helping Gaius, he was out on Gidun, or hanging around with the knights. Arthur missed Merlin and he hated his not being with him and he began to transfer that hatred to the reason for Merlin's absence, the Dunmovian nuisance. Why couldn't he have dropped off the missives from his father, stayed a week and then gone home? He presumed, he did have a home!

Gaius had notice Merlin's lackadaisical demeanour. He's handed him a mug of mulled cider, saying "Having a bad day, have you and Arthur fallen out?"

Merlin shrugged and sat staring at the circles on the surface of the cider as he tapped the mug with his fingers.

"Gaius, I spend every day, just waiting for Lander to leave Arthur's chamber at night, so we can be alone. I know I'm only classed as a manservant but I am so used to being continually at Arthur's side that I really miss it. It's as if we unintentionally became a ménage a trois!"

Gaius chuckled and Merlin looked up, "Gaius, don't laugh, it's a sad situation. Soon Spring will be here and all the months of inactivity will be gone and Camelot will again be bustling and we will, once again, have less time to ourselves. Am I being selfish and over demanding?"

"No, I think you are being normal. What does Arthur say?"

"He's also at a loss to explain Lander's overpowering desire to be with him. It's like Arthur has become the be-all and the end all of his life and all because of Uther's orders. Arthur is caught in a maelstrom and I fear he will finally give up the fight and slip under."

"Merlin, Arthur's love for you is stronger than that; your love is stronger than that. You have to be a definite part of his life during these few remaining weeks. Take the romance in your life, up a level. Show him, he's the only one you are interested in. Let him talk, and listen to him. Keep the door barred to Willfrid.

"I'm sick and tired of the prince, he was at the beginning friendly and open but now I feel that he has ulterior motives towards Arthur or maybe it's towards me but I suspect that he's after Arthur."

Then it hit him! He'd seen the body language and it had gone right over his head. He'd paid no attention to it. The Shadow's body slightly shifting toward Arthur when they sat together, and the tendency to get in his personal space as he talked; the touches which were seconds too long; the arm around the shoulder which rested there just a tad over the acceptable length of time. He'd watched the prince listening to Arthur speak, he'd seen his eyes moving, watching Arthur's eyes and then his month, repeating this movement over and over again, a sure give away. Lander's need to push in between Arthur and him regardless of where they were; the hours, Lander would happily spend in Arthur's presence. Merlin should have picked up on it sooner, he lived that life.

"Merlin!" He felt Gaius's hand on his, patting it. "Are you alright? You suddenly stopped talking and were miles away. What happened?"

"I think, I know what it is." Merlin looked up, shock and horror crossing his face. "I missed it and it was staring me in the face. Gaius, he _is _after Arthur and is trying to separate us. Don't know if he realises that we're a couple but he is doing his hardest to get closer to Arthur..."

Merlin was on his feet, "I have to get back. I have no intention of making it easy for the Shadow. See you tomorrow."

He walked quickly through the castle taking the stairs three at a time, his mind racing. Arthur must be oblivious to it. Didn't he see what was going on? But...what could Merlin do? He'd like to tell the Shadow to sod off but he couldn't. Arthur telling him that he was spoken for, would be the equivalent of laying their cards on the table and that wasn't going to happen.

Then a little worm crawled into Merlin's heart. He came to a standstill, closed his eyes and thought of the Shadow. He was fantastic looking, a dark-haired Adonis, he was great on the training field and he enjoyed hunting, the two things which Arthur revelled in. He realised he would never be able to compete with him. His confidence plummeted. What if, Arthur were attracted to him?

He opened the chamber door and saw Arthur sitting by himself at the table. He barred the door and ran across the room, mumbling, "Hold me!" He fell on his knees, sliding over the distance still separating them and was engulfed in a mighty hug. "Merlin, what's wrong?"

Merlin lost it, all the tension flooded out of him as he told Arthur of his suspicions; including the frightening thought and worry which had brought about his sudden arrival and need to be held.

Arthur brushed the tears from his cheeks and helped him up. He walked him to the bed, telling him to get on it, all Merlin managed to say, "Arthur, my boots..."

He ignored him, climbed over him and lay beside him holding him, gently stroking his face and said, "Merlin, do you love me?"

Merlin nodded.

"Do you know what that love feels like in your heart?"

Merlin nodded.

"That is the way, I feel when I see you; when you smile at me across a room; when you touch me; when you let me hold you like this. No one is going to change the way I feel; no matter his beauty, his athletic ability, how important or how rich he might be. Sorry, Merlin Love, you're stuck with me for life!"


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4 : BY CHOICE OR BY FORCE**

The days passed and the united front seemed to help the situation. Some evenings, Arthur pleaded exhaustion and the visiting prince retired to his own chambers early. Whether Arthur was exhausted once the door was barred, was debatable but certainly by the time he finally fell asleep with his arms around the only person in the world for him, he was.

Merlin reverted to his usual happy self; the days passed and the prince's departure neared.

One evening after supper, towards the end of his stay in Camelot, Lander was leaving Arthur's chambers when he turned saying, "Arthur, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Go ahead..."

"I'm going to be leaving soon and I need an experienced servant to pack and get me organized. Do you think that I could borrow Merlin? He seems competent as he has been with you for some time, I'm sure you wouldn't mind loaning him to me for a few days."

Arthur laughed, "You'd regret it. Do you not find Humphrey to your liking? I would much rather you used him. He is trustworthy, capable and punctual. Merlin although completely honest, can be a mite clumsy." Arthur thought, '...and I love him all the more because of it!' "He really is only one step up from a maidservant, never on time and not too well versed in clothes' management." He could feel daggers from Merlin across the room and wanted so much to turn to him, raise his eyebrows and give him that knowing look.

However, the prince wouldn't give up that easily. "You seem to be very comfortable with him, I'd really appreciate if I could have him. If, I'm in some way stepping on your toes, I understand completely." He laughed, "Nothing better than a well broken in retainer to make life more enjoyable."

Arthur physically felt that insinuation hit him. Had he heard what he thought he had?

Suddenly uncomfortable, he wasn't certain that he had not just witnessed a wink or was he mistaken. Was the prince kidding or fishing? Had he information on which to base that startling statement? He took a deep breath, dying to look at Merlin but he resisted the temptation. Deciding that a head on attack was the best, he looked at Lander, "Merlin will be able to help you when he is not needed by me."

Lander gave Merlin a dazzling smile, turning to Arthur, he laughed, "Don't worry, I won't lose him!" He turned back to Merlin and told him he's see him tomorrow after lunch.

As the prince left, Merlin was ready for Arthur, he said loudly, "How could...?"

Arthur spun and grabbed him, putting his hand over his mouth. "Shut up!" he whispered, "He may be listening outside." He held onto him, slowly turning the holding into hugging. He didn't release him for a few minutes, allowing the special feelings which he held for Merlin to spread through his whole body.

They walked over to the window, Merlin was still noticeably upset. Something wasn't right. Lander had been happy with Humphrey since he arrived, why would he now want to change his manservant? "I can't do it Arthur. It's not right. Can't put my finger on it but now even his voice sends shivers up my spine. Arthur, please don't make me be alone with him!"

"For heaven's sake, Merlin! He's not taking you back to Dunmonia. You're just helping him organise and pack his chests, so that when his servants arrive, he'll be able to leave immediately. I trust you!"

"Yes...but do you trust him?" Merlin half whispered.

Arthur knew, they were backed into a corner, he had to make light of it for Merlin's sake. So, he jokingly said, "You'll manage, just don't let on that you're ticklish as if I hear that he has been making you shudder by running his finger up your spine, I'll kill not only him but you. Seriously though, I give you absolute permission to come right back here if he oversteps the boundaries."

Merlin relaxed, he smiled weakly and said with a glint in his eyes, "Arthur, what boundaries?"

Arthur laughed and thought, 'Oh no! Here, we go again.' He walked over and barred the door. "These boundaries, Love."

Uther would have been proud to see that his son had committed to memory, examples of various actions in the workplace which were consider improper between an employer and an employee.

An hour later, Merlin agreed, that he now understood about master and servant boundaries. "You know Arthur, you can overstep those any day with me."

"Well, that's good news."

Merlin slipped his arm around him and said, "Of all the masters in the world, how did I ever land up with you?"

"Well," Arthur laughed explaining, "The King loved you so much that he gave me to you. So, you could love and honour me from now until forever." Arthur leant over and kissed his servant overstepping again one of the boundaries.

"Arthur, you say the most beautiful things. Promise me, that if ever you decide to get rid of me, you'll tell me gently and keep repeating it until somehow, I understand what you are saying... Don't just throw me out..."

Arthur was shocked, his breath caught in his throat, "Merlin!" He pulled away from him not believing that he could be serious but then realizing that he was. "Why would you even think that? Aren't you happy with me? Don't say that, even if you are fooling!"

"Of course, I am but you seemed to like the prince so much, you spend all your free time with him and we hardly ever, have time just by ourselves... I couldn't help but worry, I know it's all in my mind but I still feel that Lander has a hidden agenda and I'm uneasy your being around him. Arthur, he stalks you like a kitchen cat stalks a chicken. Be careful, I feel he's not all that he seems to be."

"Merlin, I'd quite happily lock myself up with you here, twenty four-seven but I have duties and at the moment, the king insists that I entertain one annoying prince. Just think in a week, he'll be gone and then I promise, you will be loved, honoured and obeyed. Well, maybe not exactly obeyed! Mind you, maybe obeyed is the correct word. I will obey your requests until you finally say, 'Stop'!"

Merlin was quite indignant, "I would never say that!"

"I know you wouldn't and that is what makes me love you so much more...and...should I became too exhausted, we could always ask Gawaine to fill in for me!"

"You wouldn't! Would you?" Merlin was laughing but a little worried. Usually, he used the Gawaine line and he thought it was funny seeing Arthur's disgust but now he was the one feeling slightly uncomfortable."

"I have no intention of sharing you with anyone. You are mine, lock, stock and barrel. But, seriously if anything did happen to me, I'd feel safe knowing that Gawaine would look after you."

"Not like this?"

"No! Not like this, just keep you safe and give you time to find your way again. Mind you, if anyone ever did decide to interfere with our little setup, I'd kill him! Really, Merlin I would... I couldn't bear the thought of anyone else holding you and forcing you against your will. That also goes for Happy Wilifrid upstairs! You may help him but if he steps out of line. I'll see to him and he won't be so happy by the time I have finished!"

Merlin snuggled into Arthur, hoping that everyone one in the world had the opportunity to find someone to love.

* * *

><p>Next morning, Merlin made a chart which he nailed in the antechamber cupboard. It was a countdown until the scheduled departure. His nerves were on end. 'Funny,' he thought, 'I can face a charging wild boar and be clearheaded but the thought of being in Lander's chambers with the door closed frightens me!'<p>

He figured six days until the departure. Hopefully, the two days he would be on loan would be halved as Arthur would also need him. He finally decided that the maximum time to be spent with Lander would be less than twenty hours. There would then be a few days interval, before Lander left. He could do it... he had no choice!

"Merlin, where are you? I can't find my boots."

Next thing, Merlin knew, there was a hand on his shoulder and someone was close to his ear. He flinched then froze. He'd been miles away in Lander's service.

Arthur swung him around. "Don't do that, when I touch you. It makes me sad." He held him close and glancing up saw the little chart. "I know, you think I'm insensitive and cruel but I can think of no other way out of this awful situation. I spoke to Humphrey and told him that you will be there to help him so that might work out. If Lander sends him away, he is to come to me directly and let me know. Don't do anything to make the prince mad but don't put up with anything. When he dismisses you, if you can't find me, go to Gaius and stay with him. I don't want him to have you for even a minute longer than necessary. I'll be worrying..."

Merlin glanced at Arthur's worried face and gave him a hug. "Don't worry, I'm a big boy and should be able to take care of myself. Maybe, he has no ulterior motives and he really only wants me to pack for him."

Lunch was finished. Lander accompanied Arthur and Merlin to the door of their chamber. Arthur looked deep into Merlin's worried eyes and said, "Be back in time to dress me for supper." Merlin followed Lander to the stairs, looking back, he saw Arthur still holding the chamber door, watching him.

Lander's chambers were large and well furnished. They overlooked the hills and the view was, as far as Merlin was concerned, nicer than Arthur's into the courtyard. Humphrey had already returned to the chambers and he was lining chests with lavender and linen cloths.

Lander announced, that he was giving Humphrey the afternoon off. Humphrey explained that he would be quite happy to remain so Merlin and he could get to the packing. Lander impatiently said, "When I give a servant time off, I expect to be obeyed!"

Humphrey bowed and said, "Thank you, Sire," but not before catching Merlin's eye.

Lander sighed and complained to Merlin about hired help. He continued, "Well, the cupboards and drawers need to be emptied so you might as well start." He went and threw himself spread eagle on the bed, watching Merlin's every move.

Merlin tried to mentally escape from the room and started to do as requested, sorting clothes into piles and placing them carefully into traveling chests. He was conscious of the various sounds in the room so when Lander got off the bed, he followed the sounds and realised he was disrobing.

"Merlin, leave that for a moment, get my dressing gown from the antechamber and take off my boots."

Feeling the hair on the back of his neck rising, Merlin did as he was told. Lander, once his boots were off, shrugged into his dressing gown and threw himself back on the bed laughing, "Relax! I'm not going to eat you!" He smirked, "...well maybe, not right now!"

There was a knock on the door. Lander said, "Come in..." and Gavin appeared. "Sire, Prince Arthur asked me to tell you that there will be a meeting prior to supper, so Merlin should leave early enough to get him dressed."

Lander dismissed the squire and said, "I have a feeling that your master is checking up on you. He doesn't entirely trust you, does he? Also, is everything so informal in this castle that even the squires call you by name?"

Merlin only said, "I have known that squire for some time. Yes, I would expect him to refer to me by name."

Deep down, he felt a little happier, Humphrey had obviously reported to Arthur who had specifically sent Gavin with the message. Arthur was still watching over him from afar. It gave Merlin a little boost that he needed to get on with the bad situation in which he found himself. 'I love him!' thought Merlin continuing with his work...

Just as it was beginning to get dark, Lander said, "Merlin, stop what you're doing and come over here."

Merlin continued folding the breeches and was placing them in the chest when Lander said authoritatively, "Now! Don't you ever obey orders when they are given? Before you go back to Arthur, prepare a bath and choose clothes suitable for me to wear this evening. I have dismissed Humphrey and will need your help in getting dressed!"

"But Sire, you specified an afternoon off for Humphrey, he will return in time for you to dress." Merlin was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Does Arthur allow you to speak to him like that? As long as you are in my room, you will speak with respect and do whatever you are told. Now, arrange for the hot water to be sent up."

Merlin took a deep breath and left the chamber to arrange for the bath to be filled. He returned and started going through the prince's clothes to find something to his liking. Everything he held up, the prince turned down as unsuitable, Finally, leggings, tunic and a jacket were chosen. The water arrived for the bath and the servants filled it. Once they had left, the prince stood waiting for Merlin to help him undress.

Wondering if he could even keep his fingers from shaking, Merlin closed his eyes and tried to pretend that it was anyone else but Lander whom he was helping. Couldn't the man even make an effort to help with the process? Merlin was embarrassed, only the young, the infirm and the aged needed such detailed help. Finally, he was ready for his bath. Merlin couldn't help but feel that the prince had enjoyed his discomfort.

"Merlin, place underclothes and linens in front of the fire to warm. Then, sit there, where I can see you."

Merlin knew that the command was twofold, 'Sit where you can see me!' He wanted to say, 'Have you no shame?' Lander might have thought he was clever but all Merlin wanted to do was disappear.

There was a knock on the door and Humphrey walked in. "Sire, I could have done that for you?"

"Merlin was quite capable of helping me as I am sure he helps Arthur." He turned giving Merlin a sly grin.

Merlin cringed. How dare he compare what he had just put him through with anything that he did for Arthur!

He clamped his jaw so he would not say something inappropriate.

Lander waved at him, dismissing him.

Merlin bowed and said, "Sire!" He left the room. Thank God for Humphrey. He leant against the wall to catch his breath and slowly made his was back to his chambers. One day down, and one to go...

Arthur hugged him as he walked in, asking questions but Merlin didn't tell him anything. He made light of the afternoon's happenings. He really didn't want to discuss it because it would mean remembering the tension and the feelings. He thanked Arthur for sending Gavin explaining that seeing him had given him a boost. Arthur didn't need to worry about him anymore than necessary.

Once Arthur was dressed, he and Merlin went to the Council Room, meeting Lander and Humphrey on the way. Merlin and Humphrey dropped back as the princes walked side by side.

"Excellent servant, you have there, Arthur. A pleasure to deal with him!"

Merlin kept his eyes on the flagstones and heard Humphrey saying quietly, "You're a class one bastard, prince or no prince." Merlin looked at him and the older man smiled, "You'll be O.K.! I'll watch out for you, I promise!"

Supper was a long boring affair and Merlin could feel Lander's eyes boring into him and on more than one occasion, just as Merlin was serving, Lander would under the pretense of saying something to Arthur, manage to rub against him.

He looked up and Gaius caught his eye and sent him a signal to relax as he'd noticed what was going on. Merlin tried to smile back at him but he knew it was a weak smile if he had even managed one.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5 :** **ROT RUNNETH DEEP**

Breakfast and lunch were over, already Merlin could feel his nerves tensing. Lander went to his chambers and Merlin was to follow once Arthur's armour had been cleaned. Merlin would willingly have cleaned every piece of metal in the armoury if it would have meant that he needn't go to Lander's chambers again.

Gaius had met him that morning asking about the problem at supper. Merlin told him all the things which he had not told Arthur. Gaius sympathized and said that he should try to stick it out. He only had just over a day to deal with Lander and then in a couple of more days, he'd, hopefully, be gone. He advised Merlin, "Stay in control of yourself; get the job done as quickly as possible; then keep a low profile as far as Lander is concerned."

'Please, let Humphrey be present. Please, let Humphrey be present.'

Merlin knocked at Lander's door and was told to enter. Of course, Humphrey wasn't there. Merlin without hesitation walked over to resume the packing which he had started the previous day. He felt sick. He hadn't told Arthur about the bathing incident and he hoped that it wouldn't be repeated this afternoon.

Lander said, "I am going out for a couple of hours. I expect you to have finished packing when I come back. If you have time clean up the chamber. I might have a nice surprise for you when I return."

Merlin was furious, who did this character think he was promising a treat if he got his work done. Merlin glanced out the window and watched the crows and rooks. There were so noisy but in a comforting way as it stopped him from thinking too much about his predicament.

He noticed horses and saw that it was Arthur on Mulgan and Lander on his flashy chestnut. Lander leaning towards Arthur while Arthur had his weight as far away from him as he could without tipping off the horse. Mulgan was funny as he kept trying to compensate for the unequal distribution of weight and Arthur was only making it worse. Merlin smiled. He could imagine Mulgan saying, "Wake up Arthur! You must be asleep, I'm trying my best to keep you balanced in the saddle and you're not cooperating!"

What was it with this man? What was his plan? Was it just to be annoying or was there something that Merlin and Arthur had missed? Merlin closed his eyes and sat quietly as clothes were removed from drawers then, refolded and packed in chests. He felt relaxed and not unhappy but he didn't intend to be caught by Lander. He wondered why Lander's own manservant had not stayed with him in Camelot but had returned with the guards to Dunmonia. Usually a royal manservant or maidservant stayed with their master or mistress in the guest accommodation and was assisted by servants from the host's staff as well.

He stood up and stretched, he laughed to himself as that had been an exhausting couple of hours. Everything was finished, he did a sweep of the room and realised that the laundry basket was full of soiled and stained clothing so decided to take it down to the laundry, to request that it be washed, dried and folded and ready to be returned to the room as soon as possible. He was walking down the stairs when he met Lander on his way up. He said, "Sire, I am just dropping these clothes off at the laundry so that they will be clean and ready to pack before you leave."

"Very well, then return to my chamber."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin replied, thinking sarcastically, 'Have I been good enough to receive my surprise?'

He visited the laundry and the laundry maids assured him that the clothes would be ready no later than noon tomorrow. Merlin thought, 'It will be lovely knowing that by then all Lander's things would be packed and his staff should be arriving to escort him home in a few days.'

As requested, he returned to Lander's chambers to be met by the smiling prince.

"I have wonderful news, King Uther has granted my request that you return with me to Dunmonia as my manservant."

Merlin felt as if the floor had dropped. 'How could Uther make such a decision? He worked for Arthur not him.' He was so shocked that he said nothing.

Lander continued, "It seems all that is needed before you pack, is for Arthur to grant his approval of the King's wishes. I don't see much problem there. Arthur himself said that you were just one step up from a maidservant, clumsy, unpunctual and had really nothing much to recommend you for the job." He walked over to Merlin and standing within three inches of his ear, whispered, "I'm sure that I could find something more exciting for you to do in a non-serving position."

Feeling a shudder go up his back, Merlin realised that Lander had run the hilt of a dagger up his spine. He felt nauseous and frightened. Was this man fishing for information or did he have something to hold over Arthur and him? 'Damn, he thought that they had been so careful!'

Lander smiled running his hand down Merlin's back in a possessive gesture! Merlin moved away from the hand which was dangerously low. Lander ignored him, saying sweetly, 'Now, run along back to Arthur, I'm sure he's missing you and then you had better pack as I can't see him having the guts to stand up to his father!"

* * *

><p>Merlin couldn't remember tracing his steps but he did remember the look of horror on Gaius's face as he burst into his chambers. "What's wrong, you look as if you have seen a ghost?"<p>

He collapsed at the table gasping that Lander had Uther's permission to take him back to Dunmonia.

"Over my dead body!" said Gaius. "What did Arthur say about this?"

"I haven't seen him yet..."

"Merlin, no one will remove you from Camelot against your wishes except me if I find that your life is in danger. Come on, we're off to find Geoffrey and Sir Rupert. We will be like D'Artagnan's three friends, Athos, Porthos and Aramis, 'tous pour un, un pour tous'!"

Merlin didn't have a clue what Gaius was going on about but if he, Geoffrey and Rupert had a plan and the motto was 'all for one and one for all', he felt that it might work in favour of his remaining here with Arthur. He'd leave Camelot before going to Dunmonia with that sleaze bag.

Geoffrey, Rupert and Arthur, couldn't believe their ears. Merlin had recounted practically word for word what Lander had said including his recitation of Arthur's own words when he had asked to borrow Merlin to pack for him. He also embarrassingly told of the bathing incident from the previous day and this afternoons unappropriate touching.

Arthur practically had a fit. "Why didn't you tell me about yesterday?"

"I thought I could manage him and didn't want you involved. I knew you'd fly off the handle and cause more trouble."

Gaius interrupted, "Alright, you two, back to the current problem."

Merlin couldn't concentrate. He knew that if Arthur refused the king, Lander would probably place his ace on the table which would really but a kyeboshe on things, as Arthur would say.

Rupert suggested that Arthur take it easy and not challenge his father. He would attend supper but Merlin would not put himself in harm's way by appearing in the dining hall. Arthur would postpone until the following day, making any decision if the king brought it up. That would give them time.

* * *

><p>Suprisingly, supper had gone quietly. Uther had not mentioned Arthur's manservant and neither had Lander. The Three whatever-they-were-called were wondering if it was just a ploy to get Arthur to release Merlin or if maybe it was a story fabricated by Lander to see if he could force Arthur's hand. Merlin's placement had never come up during supper but he was still on edge every time someone walked down the corridor past their chambers.<p>

Lander had retired to his room after supper which suited everyone perfectly. The plan was that until Arthur heard from Uther, life would go on as planned. Rupert would make sure that he had a knight or two patrolling the corridor of the guest suites when Merlin was working there. Technically, he only had to pack the laundry which should be returned before noon.

Les Trois Mousquetaires returned to their own chambers.

Arthur and Merlin were left to spend possibly their last night together. They sat in front of the fire not talking just watching the firewood kingdoms collapse sending up sparks. Finally, Arthur said, "You're not going Merlin! I can't bear to lose you but I would rather see you traveling the country side with Gawaine than going anywhere with that pig."

"Thank you for all the times you watched out for me. I'll never forget you, honestly until I draw my last breath I will only believe in us!" Merlin was obviously upset.

"Stop it, Merlin! It's not going to end. Tomorrow, next summer, we'll be here like this."

"Without the fire, though Arthur!"

Arthur smiled and then he broke down. Merlin put his arm around him knowing that the physical contact made things easier to bear. "Listen, there are two versions of this problem, one; Lander never spoke to Uther, or two; he did but Uther didn't pay any attention to it as he knew you would take a stand against it. I have a feeling he might know how annoying the second-in-line is and just wants to see the back of him."

Arthur giggled and Merlin had a mental flash of what he had just said so he continued, "See, we can even make jokes about it, we'll survive this. When we're old and grey, I'll say, 'Remember Lander', and you My Love, will say 'Lander who?' and we'll smile."

The fire burned lower and finally Arthur rose and started to undress. Merlin said quietly, "Sire, let me help."

Arthur refused help but stood before Merlin and helped him with his jacket and his tunic. He made him sit on the bed and knelt to remove his boots. Merlin became emotional, _the once and future king_ was acting as his servant. It was special for both of them until Arthur in putting Merlin's bare feet under the blankets, managed to latch onto his big toe and proceeded to lick it and suck on it until Merlin was in hysterics writhing in agony on the bed.

Arthur climbed over him to the other side and lay there with a smirk on his face.

"What was that for?"

"Because, I wanted to remember something about you, before you join Lander!"

Merlin turned on him and what started as wrestling, became more and more subdued...

* * *

><p>Dawn seemed to arrive even before they had had an hour's sleep.<p>

Merlin was ready to get up but Arthur pulled him back to bed. "Don't leave yet! Listen to me! Just in case things don't go our way, remember, that there is no room in my heart for anyone but you, I will think of no one else but you, My Love! Every morning I will think of you and wonder what you are doing and where you are. If you leave Camelot, please keep in touch through Gaius. Don't leave me here without any hope."

"Arthur, I will only leave under duress. I will be around, you will know when I am thinking about you. Once Uther forgets about me, I will sneak back and we will find somewhere safe for me to stay in the castle. We will see each other as often as we want...Hold me Arthur, let me remember what it is like to feel completely safe and loved beyond human imagining."

Seconds turned into minutes and the sunbeams moved across the wall.

"I'm going to get up now and get your breakfast, Gaius and 'his gang' want to see you in about an hour in his chambers. We will be nothing if not prepared for Uther's summons."

"One more kiss, Merlin, please!"

* * *

><p>Breakfast was served. The room had been tidied. Merlin had checked Arthur's clean clothes, changed the bed and taken bed and bath linens down to the laundry. They told him that the visiting prince's clothes had been returned to his chambers. He returned to their chambers and waited for Arthur, even allowing his magic to clean as he sat staring around the room which had been his home for many a year.<p>

Arthur returned explaining that Merlin should go to Lander's room now as chances were that he was out and he could finish the packing in peace. Rupert was ready with a patrol. Gaius would see Humphrey later this morning and delicately bring him up to date on what had been happening.

There was a knock at the door and both Merlin and Arthur looked at each other, a summons from the king or Lander himself? Arthur said, "Enter!"

Gavin entered, bowed at Arthur and said, "Sire, Humphrey has the day off and Prince Wilfrid asks that Merlin finishes the packing as soon as possible."

"Shit!" was all Merlin said when Gavin delivered the message.

"Merlin, really in front of a squire." Arthur laughed, "You'll have him blushing."

"Sire, what Merlin said, is nicer than what some of the younger squires are saying!" Arthur laughed, as Gavin turned, bowed and left the room.

Merlin said, "What was that all about?"

"Don't worry. Go right now and look after yourself."

"I will but I'll build a wall around me that is invisible and no one will be able to touch me except my friends and people whom I trust."

"Merlin, sometimes I wonder where you get these unbelievable ideas!" Arthur really did love him without knowing that half of Merlin's unbelievable ideas were a part and parcel of his life.

Merlin caught up with Gavin who was dawdling along the corridor on his way back to his classes.

Merlin reminded him, "Anything you heard in there, Gavin, is between you and me, and Prince Arthur. It goes no further. Right?"

"It won't go any further. Anyway, none of the squires really like Lander as he is very demanding."

Merlin wanted to get the clean laundry packed as soon as possible so he didn't delay any further but left for Lander's guest chambers.

He walked slowly along the corridor, hoping the prince wouldn't be there and was conscious of voices up ahead, one an adult and the other a child. He didn't like the sound of it, keeping close to the wall, he walked forward realizing it was Lander and one of the young pages. He had him by the scruff of the neck and was shaking him, yelling at him while the boy wailed.

"Tell anyone and I will see that your parents are killed, burned at the stake and you will watch and then be burned as well. If you don't come back tomorrow, I will come and get you and the ladies will hear of the wicked things you have been doing!"

Merlin yelled, "Simon! Run to me!"

The page turning saw Merlin and wrenched himself away from Lander who suddenly felt burning in the hand and up the arm holding the boy's tunic.

Lander growled at Merlin, "I'll get you, Pretty Boy, it'll just be a matter of time!"

Merlin grabbed the boy and shoved him behind him. As Lander turned to enter his room, Merlin raised his arm, his eyes turned golden and as the door opened, Lander flew inside falling face first and the door closed behind him with a deafening thud.

Suddenly, everything made sense, the awful truth hit Merlin. It wasn't Arthur or him, they were just a smokescreen, it was the boys.

Merlin put his arm around Simon and walked slowly back to Arthur's telling him that no one would hurt his parents or kill him because of what had happened. He said that Arthur would send Prince Lander away and he would never have to see him again. Simon settled a bit.

"Merlin, he was so strong...I tried to run but he caught me each time...I was scared to tell Lady Anne. He said that he was going to kill my parents..."

Merlin passed Sir Gielbert, asking him to put a guard on Prince Lander's door. No one was to enter or exit. No One! Sir Rupert would explain it to him later. He felt more relaxed as it flashed through his mind that once again he was making a quasi military decision which Arthur should have been making, he smiled.

Seeing the young boy's tear stained face and Merlin's protective arm around his shoulder, Gielbert clued in to the situation. "I'm on it immediately!" he said before continuing along the corridor.

* * *

><p>Merlin and Simon walked in on Arthur, who was lying on the bed reading. He glanced up and said, "Couldn't bear to be away from me that long, eh Merlin?"<p>

"Arthur!" Merlin said motioning to the page, "I have Simon with me and we want to tell you what we have done. Don't we Simon?"

The lad looked up at an adult he trusted and when Merlin nodded at him and smiled, he said, "Yes..."

Arthur rolled over embarrassed but remained sitting on the bed, he felt he should be at eye level with the little page. Merlin sat beside him and Simon stood against Merlin's knees, hanging onto his hand while Merlin's arm was around his waist. He and Simon together told Arthur what had happened. Merlin confessed to locking Lander in his room and asking Sir Gielbert to put a guard on the door.

Simon, who had brightened up a bit nodded in agreement. He didn't seem injured but as a precaution, Arthur told Merlin to accompany him to Gaius's and stay with him then take him back to the ladies' quarters and he would in the meantime speak with Sir Rupert. This was not an accepted behaviour in Camelot but they had little control over the royal guests invited to the castle.

Six hours later, Lander's possessions were loaded on Camelot packhorses and he was escorted to Dunmonia by a guard of Camelot knights, followed by his groom and extra horses. Humphrey stood on the steps and thought, 'You bastard, may you burn in hell!'

* * *

><p>Two days later, when they were seated at the table having breakfast, Arthur confided to Merlin that he had checked up on Lander and found out that theirs was not the first castle from which Prince Willfrid Marcus of Lander had been escorted. Three of Camelot's younger pages had been involved with Lander and it seemed that he was a voyeur and that threats were his method of maintaining control of the children.<p>

"We were so far away from the truth. If anything serious had happened to any of the pages...I couldn't have lived with it." Arthur became silent and Merlin realised that his experiences with Sir Cyril were on his mind. Twelve years ago, yet at certain times, it must feel to him as if it were yesterday.

Merlin stood up and walked over to him, leaning over, he wrapped his arms around him cradling him close to his chest and whispered, "Arthur, you're safe. No one will want to mess with you as long as I'm around!"

Arthur laughed aloud, "Merlin, sometimes you say the most ridiculous things."

Merlin smiled and thought, 'Not so ridiculous. Oh, Arthur if you only knew!'

Although, the winter had not been the relaxing time which Arthur and Merlin had hoped for; the king was pleased with Arthur sorting out the Dunmonian Prince situation and congratulated him; naturally, no mention was made of Merlin's actions. Uther encouraged Arthur to take a few days off.

Slowly the spring rain came to Camelot. The earth accepted it as a gift and in return the grasses and the trees took on all shades of green. Carpets of daffodils and bluebells blanketed the woods. The streams were full to bursting and everywhere life was renewing itself.

Once again, peace had returned to certain residents of Camelot...


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6 :** **AS IN THE HEAVENS ON HIGH**

Merlin methodically searched their wing of the castle to see if he could find a little room away from the hustle and bustle of the main areas of Camelot.

The castle with its many turrets had endless possibilities but he really wanted to find somewhere like Gaius's rooms which also boasted a private courtyard, overlooked by no one and only accessible from his quarters.

Merlin walked the outer walls of the palace to see the similar configuration of towers and floors. Finally he found one. It was actually higher up than Gaius's but would suit perfectly. It could be their retreat away from their chambers, not as good as Cave Two but full of possibilities.

It was difficult to find it from the inside but by a process of elimination he succeeded. It consisted of a landing, a main chamber and an antechamber leading to the little courtyard overlooked by blank walls, crows and clouds. The apartments were accessed by spiral stone stairs. The entry to the stairs was a door hidden behind a curtained alcove in a dead end corridor.

Merlin took his time, so as not to raise any suspicions; he carefully checking with housekeeping schedules to see if the rooms were ever cleaned. Some story about a now dead, old family retainer who had retired there. The staff felt that the room was haunted and it had remained empty for years. So, he absconded with the key.

Now to approach the negative party!

"We need a little place of our own which would allow us to escape the castle."

"Merlin," he complained, "Any cottage or hunting lodge which we frequent will be common knowledge."

"What if it's so well hidden that no one really remembers it? We alone would know about it, as well as anyone else we want to tell. He looked directly at Arthur and with a little grin said, "Maybe Gawaine?"

"Yes, and remember that you can never keep a secret so we might as well make a public announcement at the next tournament, and then Gawaine will be able to spread the news far and wide in every alehouse he frequents."

"I can keep big secrets, Arthur, like the time Gaius forgot to..."

"I told you, you couldn't and you just proved it. By the way, what did Gaius forget to do?" Merlin pretended not to hear him, so Arthur continued, "So...What have you done?"

"Nothing yet but I would like you to come with me...Well, not really nothing, a little something but I would still like you to come with me."

Merlin took off his neckerchief to use as a blindfold... Arthur refused to wear it.

"You make me so cross, Arthur. I do all the work and you won't even play along!" Merlin turned his back to him and stood looking out the window.

Arthur felt badly, but he didn't want to be made to look a fool. Blundering along the hallways, bumping into staff with his manservant's neckerchief over his eyes! He looked at Merlin, and sighed, he didn't ask much, a smile, a hug, some of his time. Finally, against his better judgment he said, "Alright, but no silly business, if you make a fool of me, you will be in the antechamber alone, for the duration of your life!"

Merlin ran at him hugging him, waltzing him around the room. "You'll love it! You're going to love it!"

It was lunch time and most of the servants would be busy elsewhere so, Arthur allowed Merlin to put his neckerchief over his eyes and take his hand. They left their room, turning right and he walked along the wall with one hand touching the stones and the other being held by Merlin who walked a half pace ahead of him.

He couldn't believe how soon Merlin was saying, "We're here!"

"No way, Merlin, we haven't gone down any stairs or anything."

"Stay still and hold the wall." Arthur heard, a curtain being pulled back and felt Merlin leading him beyond it into what seemed to Arthur like a small hallway. He heard a key grating in a rusty lock, then rusty hinges creaking. Merlin said, "Remind me, we'll need grease!"

Merlin took his hand and led him through the door, they stopped as Merlin explained they were at the bottom of a tower with stone steps.

"Up you go, your Royalness... I'll be behind but don't fall backwards as with my luck, you'll probably kill me."

Arthur said, "Did nobody every tell you to speak respectfully to your Prince." He regretted saying it as his next words were, "Merlin stop it, don't!" As Merlin, three steps behind him kept poking him in the backside with the large iron key. He stopped to kick out at him but changed his mind. He really had no intention of seriously hurting him.

They seemed to climb for quite some time, Arthur complaining that he couldn't see where he was going. "Follow your nose," was the only sympathy he got from Merlin, who realised that he should have brought a light with them. The arrow loops were few and far between so it was like twilight on some sections of the stairs.

"I'm not going any further, Merlin! I can't remember which foot to put in front of the other and the steps are so narrow."

"Stop being a girl! Keep to your left, Idiot"

He felt Merlin's hands guide his hips over to the wider section of the steps. But in typical Merlin fashion, his hands started to roam, and Arthur had to remind him, "If you make me fall backwards, it will be your fault, so don't come crying to me if you get hurt!"

Seeing the sense in that, Merlin quite happily went back to occasionally poking him.

Finally Merlin said, "Stop. You're on a landing and there is a door on your right, open it."

Arthur took two steps forward, felt the door, opened it and almost gagged at the stale smell. "Uck! Where are we, the latrines?"

"Stand still." Merlin reached around him and turned him encouraging him forward about nine paces. He walked him into a smaller room and moved around him to open another door and Arthur felt fresh air. He took a deep breath. Merlin got hold of his hand and led him into the sunshine, he could feels its warmth.

Merlin walked behind him saying, "Keep your eyes closed once I take off the blindfold, it's very bright here." He turned him around facing him into a shaded wall before saying, "Arthur, you can open your eyes slowly!"

Arthur saw a shady wall, he turned squinting and saw turrets, pennants, a bench, long rough grass, a little tree, clouds, a falcon, possibly a merlin, battlements, trees and hills. No one could see them from above; no one could see them from below unless they leaned over the parapet, they were so high and so private. There were no windows above them to overlook their little courtyard, it was perfect.

Arthur looked at Merlin watching him, his eyes bright with positive expectations, his arms open before him as if to say, 'See!' Arthur walked into his arms and sighed. Merlin loved him so much as to find him a safe place in his own home. Merlin kissed his eyes and nose finally running his fingers down to his lips, Arthur laughed and nibbled Merlin's fingers. He heart was beating double time and he never wanted to leave Merlin's arms.

"So, your Specialness, is the courtyard to your liking?

Eyes bright, Arthur looked around again before putting his arm back on his shoulder, agreeing, "Yes, Merlin, like you... perfect!"

"Come, see inside." With a flourish he continued, "This antechamber with a cot, will be yours, Arthur... and I will have the larger room, that's only fair isn't it? Finders keepers?"

Arthur looked hurt, "Merlin," he said worried, "I've forgotten how to sleep alone. You'll have to join me in my little room!"

"Or..." Merlin said, "You could on special occasions, join me in the bigger chamber."

"Which special occasions?"

Merlin looked at him shyly "Every day of my life, Arthur!"

Arthur wondered if Merlin knew the intensity of his love for him, it frightened him to think about it but he felt that in a crunch he might give up his beloved Camelot for this man.

Merlin continued their tour, "This room is a little smaller than our bedchamber but it is bright with that big window onto the courtyard. The bed is solid but will need all new furnishings. The chairs aren't great but I can borrow better ones from other vacant rooms, that also goes for anything else we need in here."

The air in the room was still stuffy so they opened the window then went back outside. Arthur checked that the bench was strong enough and he sat down and pulled Merlin onto his lap. He let his hands wander over the person, whom he loved the most in the world. Merlin wrapped his arms around his neck and rested his head on his shoulder.

Merlin was thrilled that Arthur had been receptive to his plan. He'd been given the green light and he promised to be exceptionally careful how he approached people and sourced the materials needed.

Not as isolated as a cave but a perfect hideaway, so close to home but so far away...

They returned carefully to their main bedchamber. They would need some type of lighting for the stairs as they could be dangerous in the dark. The fact that it was off a dead end corridor made it even better as there should be no passing traffic. They sat happily discussing their new home away from home. They decided that Gaius would be told about it but only when they were sure that the whole thing was feasible.

"I can't believe how close it is and we never knew that it was there. There must be lots of other hidden chambers that are unused and forgotten by the present day staff."

"But not all will be this perfectly set up, with its own courtyard giving us access to fresh air in privacy. It reminds me of Gaius's setup," said Arthur.

"That's what I looked for. I had to walk around for a long time to find it. It seems funny being able to have such a big secret."

"Well, don't think about it like that, as the next thing you will have let it slip and we'll have to abandon our plans for it."

"Can we have picnics up there before it is ready? That would be fun Arthur, I will get the food and all you will have to do, is remember which side of the stairs is the wider when you are walking up them!"

"And you can remember that if you go first and I have the key, I can annoy you all the way up as you did me!"

"But that was funny!"

"Not when I was blindfolded it wasn't. Don't worry, I intend to pay you back maybe not now but soon. I will, I promise you, it will be hanged over your head like a noose before you have it put around your neck."

"Arthur, you have a very nasty streak. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"No, and your punishment for doing so, is that you will not be hanged till you are dead but tickled until you are exhausted and pleading for mercy and as a lovable prince, I might even save you!"

He stood up stretched. It was late afternoon. He turned to Merlin and pointed at him and then beckoned his over with a malicious grin. "Changed my mind, I want to start the punishment now!"

Merlin stood up and walked on the far side of the table and stupidly said, "Only if you can catch me!"

Realising as he said it that it was the kind of challenge that Arthur lived for. He seemed to have military manoeuvres on the brain as within a few minutes, he had Merlin trapped on the far side of the bed against the wall. Merlin threw caution to the winds and dropped oton the floor slithering across it like a guerilla and managed to get under the bed without getting stepped on. He lay there waiting for Arthur's next attack.

There was a tap on the door and a servant came in with a bowl of fresh fruit, some sweet rolls and a pitcher of wine. There had been a minor fire in the kitchen and supper was to be delayed by an hour. The cook had sent up a snack.

Arthur moved over and motioned that it should be placed on the table, dismissing the servant.

While Arthur was distracted, Merlin had shimmied out from under the bed and stood next to the bedpost nearest to the headboard on Arthur's side of the bed, wrapping himself in the bedcurtain. He froze, slowed his breathing and waited.

Arthur said, "Merlin, some nice pears here, come and join me. Have a goblet of wine." He then took an apple and made a big fuss biting into it, exclaiming about how wonderful it was.

Finally after maybe four minutes, Merlin heard Arthur get up and walk over to the bed and peek underneath it. He took a second look, he was so sure that he had pinned Merlin under the bed and now he had escaped.

Following Arthur's progress around the room, Merlin's stomach was hurting as he tried not to laugh.

Arthur was flummoxed, he thought, 'Where in hell's name had Merlin disappeared to?' He sat on the bed and finally said, "OK, you win! Come out wherever you are."

Merlin had no intention of showing his secret hiding place. It might prove useful on another occasion. He waited patiently and once Arthur had, in desperation decided to peek outside in the corridor, he opened the curtain and slipped onto the bed and lay there quietly with his eyes closed, waiting for the moment of truth.

The bed had creaked but the sound of Arthur closing the door and tutting had covered it.

Arthur made his way across to the window and looked out. He then returned to the table and got his wine goblet. "Damn you, Merlin. You take all the fun out of hide and seek because you're too good at it. Where did you get to?"

Suddenly, his eyes glanced around the room and he noticed the figure on the bed. He quietly put down his goblet and started to steal across the room preparing to pin Merlin.

Merlin listened carefully gauging the distance and just as Arthur went to bend over him, he twisted and imprisoned him around the waist and pulled him on top of him onto the bed. Arthur's gasp as the air was squeezed out of his lungs was worth the time spent under the bed and wrapped in the curtain.

Arthur finally got his breath, Merlin laughed up at him, playing with his hair and then had pity on him and pushed him over to his side of the bed and wrapped his arms around him.

"Where were you?"

"I don't remember, wasn't I on the bed the whole time, the last thing I remember your saying was '...and as a lovable prince, I might even save you!' Did you save me Arthur? Aah...I must have been dreaming all this time."

"Liar!"

"Takes one to know one!" Merlin said and leant over to gave Arthur a well deserved kiss...


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7 : THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY**

Arthur had been daydreaming, the only subject of his daydreams was always the one and same person. Today was special as it was again the end of September and Merlin's birthday was coming up. Arthur already had everything planned. They were going hunting in a section of the kingdom which would necessitate an overnight excursion. Merlin was not in on the plans, Arthur told him he wanted to hunt on Friday and left it at that. Merlin had notified the stables that they would need Gidun and Mulgan.

The day dawned windy and rainy but Arthur insisted that they would go, he was tired of being confined to the castle and the outing would do them both good. Merlin complained to Gaius but he said, "Arthur's right, it'll blow all the cobwebs from your mind and you'll enjoy it." He looked out his little window and thought 'Rather you than me, young man!'

Merlin hadn't been feeling up to par. He had a nagging feeling that something was wrong. Most of the time, he was jumpy and uneasy. He had a feeling that people were talking about him and his biggest worry was that he had done something to jeopardise Arthur's and his secret. He was paranoid; maybe a day away from the castle was what he needed.

* * *

><p>Merlin spun around, he had heard something, Arthur shook his head. He hadn't heard anything, maybe an animal which the horses had spooked in passing. Gaius had told Arthur that Merlin's nerves were a little raw and to look after him. He'd even packed some infusions that would help calm him but had told Arthur not to mention anything unless Merlin did.<p>

Arthur kept waiting for Merlin to say, 'Cave Two, Arthur, we could go to Cave Two,' but he didn't.

He suddenly whispered, "Arthur, something is following us, look at Gidun's ears." Arthur had to agree that the continual flicking back of his ears meant that he heard something. Could it be another horse and traveller behind them? Had his father sent guards to protect them? There hadn't been any trouble in the kingdom since the attack on Cenred last year. Anyway, Uther would just have told him that he had to take guards with him. Period!

Arthur pulled off the track and Merlin followed. They dismounted and Merlin put his hand over Gidun's muzzle to stop his calling to any horse that might go by. They waited and finally heard hoof beats. One horse, probably two. Praying that their horses wouldn't suddenly decide to shake making their saddles creak and saddle bags and bedrolls flap, they held their collective breaths.

From between the trees, Arthur made out a heavy set man on a big horse followed by another large man on a second horse. They passed by and continued down the track, neither of them talking. He shrugged his shoulders at Merlin and whispered, "Travellers, ... men returning home from seasonal farm work?"

Merlin felt better having them ahead of them, so the two of them walked back onto the track, but Merlin was still getting strange vibrations. Arthur had not recognized either man; Merlin because he was further from the track hadn't had a clear view. He decided his mind was playing games and he let it go, starting to pay attention to the ride.

Suddenly, he gasped, he turned to Arthur with a smile that was almost equal to the day's missing sun. "Cave Two!"

Arthur grinned, "An early present for your birthday, Gaius helped me get it off the ground. It's double pronged, as you won't even have to watch me hunt. The only person I'll be hunting is you, dear." Arthur didn't often gets puns right but, when he did, he not only thought that he was clever but also very amusing. "Did you get it, Merlin? Like the animal and a loved one. That was a clever one, wasn't it?"

Merlin smiled. There was a lovable, childlike quality about Arthur that was only ever seen by Merlin and Gaius. He was so relaxed with them that his royal façade slipped and, there was the lovable man that Merlin knew.

They stopped for lunch near a lazy river and Arthur like a kid had to try to catch a fish. He lay down on the bank and dropped his hand slowly into the water. He knew that fish rest under the bank of the river, he waited, his hand scooped up like a bowl. As he felt a fish, he slowly moved his hand, along its belly to its head, slipped his finger into a gill and pulled it out of the water onto the grass careful not to let it flop back into the river.

Although Arthur had on many occasions tried to get Merlin to 'tickle a trout', he was hopeless. He always missed. The best he had ever done was to lift one out of the water only to have it flip off his finger back into the stream. Deep down, Merlin had felt glad as he preferred to see fish swimming in a stream rather than floating in a cooking pan!

"So," Arthur said, "Fresh fish for supper!"

"Well done! Now, you have to clean it as you caught it."

Arthur flipped it at Merlin who caught it. "Happy Birthday! Guess you get to clean it as you also caught it."

He walked over to Merlin, running his fishy finger across his lips. Merlin pulled back but Arthur's hand was behind his head. He removed his finger, licking Merlin's lips and then kissing him.

"Yuck, Arthur, that was awful!"

"Didn't you like my kiss?"

"Yes...but didn't like the fishy finger," Merlin took his hand which was holding the fish and wiped it across Arthur's cheek, he didn't care, he just laughed. Borrowing Arthur's knife, he went down to the stream and gutted it.

Arthur said, "You should carry a knife. Then you wouldn't have to borrow mine."

Merlin smiled maniacally with the knife above shoulder level, blade pointing down. "Would you trust me with a knife when you went to sleep at night, Arthur?"

Arthur felt a shudder run down his back as he visualised the injury, one clumsy servant might do to his person! "Actually, I doubt, that you would do any damage which would likely deprive you of pleasure!"

Merlin ducked his head, blushing.

As, they packed up the remaining food, Gidun, whinnied but wasn't answered, "What's wrong with him today?" Arthur's Mulgan was also flicking its ears but it went unnoticed.

"Don't know," Merlin said, preoccupied with the thought of Cave Two.

With the hills of Cave Two in sight, they cantered leisurely across the valley. At last, reaching the cave, Merlin dismounted leading his horse through the narrow opening, Arthur followed with his. This cave held many memories for them, some happy, some sad. They were both determined that this visit would repeat the former. Nothing was going to get in their way of a wonderful evening.

There was still fire wood piled inside the mouth of the cave. If someone had been there, they had replaced whatever they had used. Arthur took the bedrolls and supplies while Merlin unsaddled and settled the horses. He started a fire while Arthur admired his fish. Merlin rinsed out a pot with water, "You know Arthur, I think this pond may be fed from a hot spring as the water isn't cold... almost tepid."

"The horses drink it," said Arthur, "So I guess it's clean." They stood watching the fire grow as Merlin kept feeding more twigs and small branches. Soon it was fully ablaze.

The food packed by the kitchen was perfect. They decided to keep the fish for breakfast and eat what the cook had sent, a small roast of venison, savory sausages of onions and apples, mushrooms and oatmeal bread. There was also a stoppered crock of cider. Merlin put the meat over the fire to warm it.

Arthur carried the bedrolls to their usual place and remembered the last visit when Merlin had slept near the horses creeping back to him during the night to apologise for something he hadn't done. Arthur's face reddened when he remembered what a fool he had been to cause that rift. He was really trying to become more adept at apologising.

Merlin said, "... you alright?"

Walking over to Merlin, he put his arms around him. Merlin misread his intentions and pulled away, turning back to the fire saying, "Let's eat, first..."

Arthur laughed, "Merlin, I just wanted to thank you again for being so mature the last time we slept here. My pride stopped me from approaching you and then I was too embarrassed to do anything after that."

"Don't worry Arthur, I'd crawl to you, barelegged over broken glass if I knew that you still wanted me..."

Arthur was shocked, thinking, 'God, let us never get into a situation where that would be an option'! "You say the most romantic things in the strangest of ways."

"I meant it, Arthur, glass shards, gravel, dried peas and hot coals, nothing could keep me away from you if you ever called for me. Well, maybe not for doing chores and things; just when I see that twinkle in your eye and know what might happen next..." Then his face changed and he became serious, he spun around to face Arthur and said, "I want you to promise me, here and now, that if ever anything happened to me and you had the chance to escape, you would save yourself."

He lifted his hand and brushed Arthur's hair off his forehead and planted a little kiss between his eyebrows, letting his lips slide down to the tip of his nose, he ran his teeth along it.

Arthur warned him, "Don't get silly! No rough stuff...I still have the scar on my neck from the cottage."

Merlin giggled. Arthur raised his eyebrows to comment but Merlin stopped any further discussion by kissing him.

By the time they parted, they were breathless and Merlin said, "Shit! The meat!" But it wasn't burnt and they sat next to each other, shoulder to shoulder against the rock face and ate their meal.

Supper was delicious and after all the food and utensils were packed away, they walked to the mouth of the cave and sat in the dying sun enjoying being miles away from anyone and all by themselves.

Or so they thought...

It was getting chilly, Merlin went back to put more wood on the fire. Arthur had arranged for extra blankets as well as bed rolls so they would be warm. However, he still started another fire closer to where they would sleep.

For the longest time, Merlin sat against a large rock with Arthur in front of him, lying back against him with his head on his chest. Merlin wrapped his legs around him. He put his arms around Arthur's chest and kept blowing into his hair and kissing his head. "Did you know that you have a strange shaped head? Guess, it got hit too much, when you were training as a squire."

"Merlin, you know perfectly well that my head is not only normally shaped but some people would say, it is exceptional."

"Exceptional because it is strangely shaped, or because it is still stuck on your shoulders?"

Arthur moved his hands to tickle Merlin but he managed to grab them. "Well, Merlin, if it was not my head which attracted you to me, exactly what part was it?"

Merlin just laughed, "You'll have to guess and your two first guesses will be wrong! Actually, I was fascinated that anyone could be so annoying, and then I found your behaviour cute in an irritating way and then I began to find it just cute and by then, I was head over heels in love with you..."

"Home truths...?" said Arthur, Merlin nodded. "You were by far the most aggravating person whom I had ever met. You showed me no respect, you humiliated me in front of my friends with your quick responses... but there was something calling to me. Every time I saw you, I wanted the world to stop so that I could take you in completely, walk around you, stare at your face, remember every part of you, reach out and touch you and that realisation shocked me. It was as if you had been born for me and without you, I could not exist... and then one day, it hit me, I was head over heels in love with my best friend.

I was scared, Merlin, really scared. If I made a move, you might run away, shocked and then that day, we both came around the end of the bed and smacked into each other and I put out my arm to catch you in case you fell and you didn't pull away and..." Arthur snuggled back against Merlin... "I had the answer literally in my arms. I love you so much. Nothing and I really mean nothing, will ever make me love you less than I do right now..."

Arthur was heavy lying like that and although Merlin loved holding him, he was slowly slipping down the cave wall until he finally had said, "I can't sit here like this any longer, my back's killing me."

Arthur scrambled up and pulled him to his feet. He brushed his finger over Merlin's lips saying "Stretch out, while I bank up the fire." By the time he came back, Merlin had the bedrolls arranged the way he liked and was very comfortable and only too willing to continue the review of Gaius's compendium.

"Merlin, have you ever thought that maybe, we should write an advice book on the Joys of Sex?"

"And whom would you approach to illustrate it? No, let me guess...Uther!"

That sent the two of them into gales of laughter but soon the laughter ceased...

Merlin came to, in a tangle of limbs. He loved cuddling with Arthur, he was strong and gentle and Merlin felt that there were no problems in the world which his friend could not solve. He fell back into a warm relaxed sleep.

The temperature dropped over night and when they woke in the morning, they could see their breaths. Neither wanted to get up as they were on holiday; so, they snuggled back into the blankets and stayed there. In the cave, it was difficult to tell the time. It was probably dawn. There was no sun and it seemed a shame to waste the opportunity so Merlin whispered, "Arthur do you love me?"

"...course, I do!" came the muffled reply...

"Show me..."

* * *

><p>A little later, Arthur felt a blade in the centre of his back. He froze. Merlin complained and opened his eyes to see two large men, towering over them. One pushed Arthur off him with his boot, keeping the knife at his throat. Merlin could see that the skin had been nicked as blood was dripping down his chest. The other grabbed Merlin, twisting his arms behind his back and tying them above the elbow. He then threw him back down on the blanket. He looked down at him and said, quietly in a voice which subsequently terrified Merlin, "Now, maybe you can answer the question, 'So, how's the Golden Boy in bed'?" Merlin's life flashed before him. He was back in Sertium. He remembered the public embarrassment, the ensuing assault and the mind-numbing pain.<p>

The man now holding Arthur, still had a dagger at the prince's neck. He threatened, "Shut Up! Say...or do anything and he will be killed." The larger man took some leather thongs from around his waist; tying Arthur's arms behind his back, he shoved him across the cave, sitting him against the wall before tying his ankles together.

Arthur had a flash of a pyre and Merlin. They had thought that they were being so careful. Where had they gone wrong? Merlin let his head fall to the bedroll and tried to keep his mind clear, paying attention to everything that was happening so he could save Arthur.

Satisfied that Arthur was not going anywhere, the men came back to stand over Merlin. "Can't imagine, that you ever expected to see us again, eh Merlin? We've had practice with the likes of you and know how to permanently injure you, so that you will no longer be of any interest to your boyfriend."

Merlin cringed, he remembered the knees to the groin and the kicks in the back. He curled into a ball. To show they were not fooling, one of them stepped on his hand. Merlin heard a crunch and instantaneous pain. He had great difficulty understanding, how hurting someone could give anyone pleasure but it obviously did to some and these men were two examples.

Arthur said, "Leave him alone! It's me you want not him!"

The man turned on him and said "Who gave you permission to speak?" He turned to the second man and said, "Punish him." The man moved towards Arthur but he was hauled back and directed to Merlin. "Punish _him_, I don't want a mark on the Prince. The king wouldn't approve."

The man, crossed the cave, swung back his boot and let fly at Merlin's chest. Arthur heard the impact and Merlin's huff as the air was forced out of his lungs. He knew that any noise from him would increase the punishment. He was panicking inside as these events were not exactly covered in a knight's training. Merlin went quiet.

The men grew tired of beating him up, so they came across to Arthur. "We've never had the pleasure of meeting you 'Sire', but our deceased friend Stanley, told us all about you." Arthur's eyes snapped open. These were the men who had practically killed Merlin four years ago. Stanley had been the mastermind; he had hoped that by getting Merlin out of the way, Arthur would have taken him back to Camelot to infiltrate the palace as a spy for Cenred.

'What did they want and how was he going to get Merlin away from them? Gaius was going to kill him if he brought Merlin back in the condition he was last time.'

"Stanley would have enjoyed seeing the two of you together. All lovey, dovey like!" One motioned back at Merlin, smirking, "Your friend there, always refused to answer Stanley's question but now you're here and not doing anything in particular...maybe we could find out... so, Golden Boy, tell us, how are you in bed?"

Merlin had never told Arthur how crude Stanley had been in public. He'd told Gawaine but swore him to secrecy and Gawaine had been true to his promise, Merlin wanting to protect Arthur from any embarrassment, had kept it to himself. He'd been in a bad way, when he was found. A physician, Arthur and Sir Rupert had nursed him back to health. Finally, they had traveled slowly back to Camelot.

Arthur wasn't worried about himself, he was worried about Merlin. What did the men want? How had they followed them to the cave, if they were ahead of them? He looked over at Merlin but he was just lying there.

One of the men proceeded to go through all the saddle bags finding the cider which they had hardly touched. They put some wood on the fire and threw the blue blanket over Arthur but left Merlin naked on the bedroll.

Soon their language became coarser and Arthur realised that they were drunk. But, they were not giggly drunks like Merlin and himself, nothing amused them, they became even nastier.

They began to argue between themselves and Arthur realised to his horror that they were arguing over who got Merlin...


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8 : A KNIGHT IN TARNISHED ARMOUR**

Down in the valley, there was another rider, who had seen two horses making their way to the cave late yesterday. He camped in the valley but decided to check the place out. Caves were great places in bad weather and could, with a minimum of effort, be made comfortable and safe as they usually had only one entrance. He had good memories of caves.

He slowly made his way and was surprised to see that horses had been tied to trees a fair distance below the cave and there seemed to be remnants of a camp. He shrugged and shook his head, 'Some people just didn't value their horses.'

Walking his horse further on, he noticed tracks of horses on the path ahead of him. He dismounted and tied his horse off the path, continuing quietly on foot. He heard voices up ahead raised in anger. Something like a command, a muffled cry, then another protesting voice. Never one to sidestep a brawl, he kept going with caution.

The cave mouth was impressive, narrow but obviously large enough for a horse as the tracks went right in. This cave had possibilities...

The voices were still arguing. Not that it made any more sense to him now that he was closer but it was a subsequent yelp and the heart rendering plea of "No! Not again! No! Don't!" from a voice he recognised which made him move.

He pulled out his sword and sneaked into the cave. A burly man had someone propped against a rock and another man was holding a knife to someone thrashing against his bonds and yelling, "Stop it! Leave him alone! He didn't do anything to you!"

Brandishing his sword, he took a hearty swipe at the knife wielder's arm. He then turned and realised exactly what was happening across the cave, he was incensed. He saw red. Dropping his sword, he grabbed the knife from the ground and crept up behind the man, he grabbed his head and pulled it back slashing the fellow's throat. The assailant fell forward with a grunt and he shoved him off Merlin, whose back was now covered in blood.

Cutting the thongs to Merlin's arms, he cradled him against him, rocking him as you would a baby, telling him, "Shush, you're safe now." Merlin screamed as he fought possibly believing, it was the first attacker, returning to further molest him. But Gawaine's voice seemed to cut through his terror as he was now gasping pathetically. Gawaine turned him to face him and Merlin burrowed his head into Gawaine's chest, and stood there, shuddering.

He called over his shoulder, "What the fuck happened here, Arthur? Are you alright?"

"Not really... what the hell, are you doing here?

"... Saving Merlin's and your skins by the look of it! Won't untie you immediately, as Merlin needs me!"

A flash of jealousy went through Arthur as he watched Gawaine sink to the ground still holding Merlin who had reverted to whimpering, "Don't touch me...!" It tore something in Gawaine's insides to look at the state of his body and realise what Merlin, his dear friend had suffered.

"Is he alright? They fought over him and then the first guy came over to me because I was yelling."

Gawaine laid him down gently on the bedroll, covering him up, telling him he was going to get Arthur. Merlin just stared at him. He walked over and cut the thongs on Arthur's wrists and ankles. He stood up unsteadily and wrapped himself in the blanket. Gawaine insisted, "Get some clothes on, it's cold in here. Then come over, he really needs you."

Gawaine knelt by Merlin again and whispered, "Merlin, Arthur's coming, he's getting dressed."

Merlin murmured through badly swollen lips, "...help...him"

"I'm not going to help him, he's old and ugly enough to do it himself." Gawaine watched as Merlin absorbed his words and his eyes momentarily brightened.

Arthur came over. Merlin was covered in blood, some his but the majority of it from his second attacker. Kneeling down, placing his arms on either side of him, so as not too touch him, Arthur gently kissed his battered face. Merlin pulled away, "Arthur, you mustn't! Don't touch me again, because they... No...Arthur, please don't touch me..!" He shuddered, closing his eyes embarrassed.

Arthur glanced at Gawine who nodded and Arthur said, "Merlin, to me, you're as beautiful now, as you were last night, just a little bloodied that's all..." He kissed him anyway.

"But, Arthur, they..."

"Shush, I know but you're safe now. Gawaine and I will look after you."

He turned his bruised face to Arthur and just above a whisper, said, "I never want to come to this cave again."

"Neither do I! Someday, we'll find another cave..."

Gawaine hadn't noticed Merlin's hand with the broken fingers. Arthur said gently, "I'm going to 'do a Gaius', Merlin, and reset your fingers. After the initial pain, they will feel much better."

He nodded at Gawaine, to hold him, as he pulled them back into place. Arthur took a pot and filled it with water from the pond. He was surprised at how warm the water felt. He came back and washed the blood and dirt off Merlin's hand and using twigs and his neckerchief, wrapped the fingers, immobilising them until Gaius could check them. He used a part of his tunic and gently washed Merlin's face. Gawaine walked back to the pond, rinsed and refilled the pot and put it near the fire.

Not knowing how badly damaged he was, Arthur checked his arms, legs and ribs for breaks. There didn't seem to be any. Knights were always hurting themselves and the general rule was that before they could be moved, someone checked their limbs. Arthur never thought that in his wildest dreams, he would be doing this for Merlin. He flinched each time Arthur touched him. Arthur wasn't sure if it were because of actual pain or just being touched after what he had been through.

Gawine motioned to Merlin and then the pond. Arthur and Gawaine got him on his feet and slowly walked him there, they sat him in the water and Arthur gently got the worst of the blood off his back and shoulders and out of his hair. His heart turned over as he wiped his chest, seeing a boot shaped bruise and the scratches from the rock. He was shocked by the amount of damage inflicted in such a short time. The thongs had damaged his upper arms as he had put up a fight. Arthur told him to stay there as it would be good for him. He did reluctantly but when asked how he felt, he whispered that he felt cleaner in the water.

Gawaine wanted to give them some time together so he went to get his horse. He left Arthur sitting on the rocks holding Merlin's head and his damaged hand, talking quietly, as Merlin relaxed. Every now and again there was a cross between a hiccup and a sob, then Arthur would lean over and kiss the top of his head.

A while later, Gawaine brought his horse into the cave and unpacked a bed roll and clean linen. He put more wood on the fire, then helped Arthur get Merlin back to it. Leaving Arthur to dry him, he found Merlin's clothes. They were blood free. They helped him dress as best they could without hurting him, then sat him on two sleeping bags propped against the rock face.

Arthur used one of the packages from Gaius to make him something to drink; noticing that two of the packets had his name on them, he and Gawaine had those.

The three of them sat against the wall. Merlin spoke first, "Do we have to tell?"

"I think, we should tell no one but Gaius, he will have to check you out."

Gawaine cleared his throat, "Arthur, do you have to report this other thing, to the king?"

"What other thing?"

"The death of the two assailants..."

Merlin's head came up, "Two?" He couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.

"Yes, I had obviously slashed the other chap's wrist badly and he only made it halfway to their horses."He thought, 'God forgive me...for a little lie.'

"I don't think it is worth all the ensuing questions if we mention any of this." Arthur sadly smiled, "The three of us should have our own motto, like _All for One and One for All_!"

"Isn't that already taken?"

"Not that I know."

"Can't we go now? I don't want to stay here...Arthur...I can't stay here any longer."

It was close to noon when Gawaine saddled Merlin and Arthur's horses and Merlin agreed that he would try to ride if they took it easy. Arthur had visions of leading Gidun all the way home, as Merlin walked.

They put out the fire and packed everything up. Arthur refused to take the bloodied bedroll and threw it over the body of the dead man.

Merlin turned as he left the cave and thought, 'I loved this cave so much but people have ruined it...' His mind flashed to memories of their first night, the moonlight episode, Arthur's secret and his final apology. He knew things were going to be very different between Arthur and him from now on.

Arthur held Gidun for him and Gawaine helped him mount from the offside because of his damaged hand. It was a painful procedure.

Gawaine led the way down to the other horses and untied their reins tying them to the back of his saddle.

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth," he seriously told Merlin. He then dragged the other dead body up the hill and into the cave. He didn't want either Arthur or Merlin to know that both men had actually died from having their throats slit. He'd found the knife wielding molester when he went to get his horse and had dispatched him as well. He thought, 'No great loss!' ... and returned down the hill to his friends.

Arthur had asked him to come back with them to Camelot. As planning to keep the whole thing a secret, he would need to follow his usual schedule when he got back. Gawaine could keep Merlin company if he wanted any, during the day.

"But who will look after you?"

"Uum! I don't know, Merlin, I'll see if Nanny-What's-Her-Name, would like to come back for a week?"

* * *

><p>Arthur was shocked by what had happened and that he had been unable to be of any assistance. If Gawaine hadn't appeared when he did, he felt sure that the men would finally have slit Merlin's throat...They would have a lot to talk about and already Arthur was upset as he could feel that Merlin had pulled away from him.<p>

'No one,' he thought, 'Was ever going to drive a wedge between them, certainly not some half-baked ruffians...!

They reached the flat land and Merlin was obviously tired and uncomfortable by the rough descent. Arthur suggested that they stop and walk beside the horses for a while. Merlin said, "No, you and Gawaine go ahead and I'll lead Gidun and meet you near the little lake."

"As if!" said Arthur, "I'll walk with you..."

"Please, Arthur! Let me be alone for a little while...I'll meet you at the lake."

Arthur had already shifted his weight, preparing to dismount but after what Merlin had said, he settled himself in the saddle. He was dumbfounded, as he had been given the cold shoulder by Merlin. He hadn't even made eye contact with him just told him in other words, to leave him alone and get out of his sight.

Gawaine saw the devastated look on Arthur's face and said, "That makes sense. Arthur and I will go ahead and if you don't arrive in an hour, we'll come looking for you..." He glared at Arthur and helped Merlin slide off Gidun, he reached for the reins and handed them to him. He got back on his horse, threatening Arthur with a look and the two of them walked on.

"What the fuck was that? How could you leave him alone, Gawaine? He's the closest thing I have in all the world and you're talking nonsense about going to look for him in an hour." Arthur knew that he was out of his depth, in uncharted waters. He had been raised to deal with advisors and councils, experienced people and he had just taken advice from Gawaine. Gawaine of all people...even though Merlin trusted him...

His heart was telling him to protect Merlin from all this morning's memories but here he was, following Gawaine and beyond that almost understanding and agreeing. A shiver ran up his spine, if the men hadn't known who he was, it could have been him suffering as Merlin was or more likely the two of them would have been dead. Their world was a horrid place.

Gawaine let Arthur rant and rage. When he was finally done, he reached over and grabbed Mulgan's reins forcing Arthur to pull up. "Arthur, he's been raped. I know you only want what is right for him but he needs space. He hasn't had a chance to think as we have been coddling him and even bullying him since early-morning. When we get to the lake, I'll go up higher on the hill and keep an eye on him. Knowing him," Gawaine smiled sadly, "He's probably telling Gidun, all about what happened and that's all he needs at the moment is someone to listen to him who will be non-judgemental and what better person than a horse?"

Arthur flared up again, "You know nothing about Merlin and me. I should have stayed with him."

Gawaine thought, 'Only that you have been in love with him for five years and he idolises you.' He said, "Arthur, he's hurt and embarrassed let him be..."

There was silence and Gawaine glanced over at him and could see tears streaking his cheeks. Finally a subdued Arthur said, "Gawaine, I'm scared he won't love me any more...the trip was my idea." Arthur hesitated, "It's his birthday today...!"

That shook Gawaine but he said, "He won't blame you but any decisions he makes, must be his not yours. You cannot force anyone to love you. If he does, he'll come back to you in his own time. No strong arm tactics like you use with your knights. Gaius will be able to help you figure it out, just as he will help Merlin."

They reached the trees and found the lake. Gawaine tied all four horses to trees after he had watered them. As promised, he climbed the little knoll and leaned against a tree. He could see Merlin's horse walking steadily towards them and beside him the figure of the birthday boy. He thought sadly, 'Happy Birthday, Merlin!'

Arthur paced back and forward between the horses and a downed tree. He couldn't sit still. He had no patience at the best of times and he was wound up tight at the moment. He went over what Gawaine had said. How come everyone seemed to be better at relationships than he was? Deep down, he accepted Gawaine's reasoning but still the overwhelming feeling for him, was to race across the valley and put his arms around Merlin and never let him go, ever again.

Gawaine came down the hill and told him that he was about a mile away. He made Arthur sit down and told him not to move until Merlin approached him.

Arthur knew that there was a hunting lodge to the west. Gawaine and he decided that they would stay there overnight. He told Arthur to see if he could get any fish from the lake and when Merlin finally arrived, Arthur was on his stomach with three fresh fish beside him. He looked up at Merlin remembering Gawaine's instructions and was rewarded with a slight nod.

The walk seemed to have done Merlin good. He seemed less agitated. Gawaine mentioned the hunting lodge and Merlin said, "We've stayed there when we were hunting boar. He turned to Arthur, making no eye contact, he looked over Arthur's shoulder and said, "Thank you, for letting me have time to think."

With great difficulty, Arthur just nodded and Gawaine standing to the left of Merlin holding Gidun gave him a thumbs up.

They reached the hunting lodge by nightfall and Gawaine took over preparing the evening meal. The fish were excellent and with the few provisions left from the breakfast and lunch, they had a satisfying meal. Merlin was reluctant to eat anything but agreed to a drink, so Arthur prepared for him the last packet of Gaius's mixture.

The fire in the hearth cast long shadows on the faces of the three men. Gawaine finally said, "Well, I'm for turning in." They had four bedrolls and two were put on the floor, near the fire, for Merlin. He settled down and Gawaine put his bedroll nearer the door. Arthur laid his near the far wall. Gawaine banked the fire and settled.

He was awoken at least three times in the night by Merlin pleading and crying out and he could hear Arthur telling him that he was there and everything would be alright.

When he awoke the next morning, Arthur was gone. He looked around and saw that he was lying within arm's length of Merlin's bedroll and Merlin's damaged hand was stretched out and held in his. Gawaine decided it was too early to get up and turned over and went back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Camelot loomed before them. They had taken it slowly. They bumped into Leon in the lower town and he had raised his eyebrows at Merlin's battered face. Arthur told him to notify Gaius that Merlin had been in a slight accident and they would come directly to Gaius's as he needed to see him. They rode into the stable yard and Arthur left Gawaine with the five horses and took Merlin in a side door that would lead them there, without walking through the main corridors.<p>

Arthur knocked on the door and said, "Gaius, Merlin needs you!" Gaius forewarned, walked towards him with his arms open. As Arthur closed the door and left, Gaius had the man he considered his son wrapped gently in his arms.

Arthur met up with Gawaine and they ate in his chambers. After supper and before Gawaine went off to one of knights' guest rooms, there was a tap on the door. Arthur nodded and Gawaine got up and answered it.

Gaius walked in less than pleased. Then he saw Arthur's face and changed his mind saying, "He's going to be bruised and sore for some days but he will get over it physically but mentally..."

Gawaine excused himself and Gaius said, "You are owned a debt of thanks, Gawaine. From what Merlin says, you saved two lives yesterday. Thank you!" Gawaine bowed and left the room.

"Arthur, you and I have a lot to discuss. Merlin didn't want to see anyone so I gave him a sleeping draught but tomorrow, I think he will be ready for a visitor.

"Only if he specifically asks for me, Gaius..."

Gaius nodded and put his hand momentarily on Arthur's shoulder before he left.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9 : TO BEHOLD THE WANDERING MOON**

Two days after their return, Gaius sent word with a squire that he wished to see Arthur in his chambers after morning practice. Arthur had been waiting for the summons and looked forward to seeing Merlin again. He had been lost without him, even though Gawaine had tried to cheer him up. He hated getting dressed alone as it was such a bother and there was no one there to joke with. Gawaine had offered to lend a hand but he had refused.

Probably one of the worst things was going to bed alone. He had forgotten how empty a bed could be when you were missing someone. Deep down, he was a little nervous of Merlin's reaction to sharing a bed with him again. He might prefer to sleep alone in the antechamber. This thought really upset Arthur but he realised that he would respect whatever Merlin suggested.

Waking up in the middle of the night and feeling nobody beside you, also shocked him. How soon he had got used to having someone near him! He remembered the first time Merlin had spent the whole night with him, he had felt hemmed in by him but he soon became used to sharing and sharing Merlin was the most wonderful thing in the whole world.

His mind wasn't on his swordplay and he got whacked by Leon who was back to full strength since the squires' incident. Arthur went down on one knee and Leon was beside him apologising immediately. "I'm O.K., Leon, just a little distracted." None of the knights had commented on Merlin's absence but they knew that he was back at Gaius's. Gawaine had rebuffed any enquiries as to why he was in Camelot just saying that Arthur had invited him. If Arthur had wanted them to know, they would have been told. So, they just respected his silence.

Gavin walked across the field, "Sire, Gaius would like to see you."

Arthur dropped his armour and sword for Gavin to look after. He made his way to Gaius's. He knocked and waited to be told to enter and walked in to see Merlin sitting by the fire with Gawaine while Gaius worked at his table. He was shocked and hurt to think that Gawaine had been with Merlin and never told him. His face showed his displeasure and Gawaine, picking up on it and knowing that it was directed at him, said to Merlin, "I have things to do, I'll see you later."

Gaius had also picked up on Arthur's annoyance and raised his eyebrows at Arthur while motioning with his head at Merlin.

Merlin had also picked up Arthur's look of displeasure and feeling that it must have been because of him, his face fell. 'Arthur no longer wanted him!' That thought killed him but he managed to stand and walk unsteadily, without saying anything to his little bedroom and shut the door.

Arthur only got as far as, "Mer..?" when the door closed.

Gaius sat there shaking his head. Arthur believing that after all, it wasn't Merlin who had wanted to see him but Gaius, sighed deeply and sat in the chair which Merlin had just vacated.

"What were you thinking giving Merlin that look?"

Arthur's head flew up, "Look?"

"I would have expected more of you, young man! He's been through something which you would probably never understand; the first reaction, he receives from the person whom he believes loves him and will be able to see beyond what happened to him, is a negative look. Wake up Arthur, you're not a kid but a man who supposedly has his best interests at heart!"

Arthur froze, had Merlin wanted to see him and incorrectly presumed that his scowl of displeasure was at seeing him? When it was at seeing Gawaine with him and directed at the former. He swung around to look in horror at the man who considered Merlin his son. "Gaius, I don't know what to do, the look was not for Merlin. It was because I was cross at seeing Gawaine with him. I had hoped that he would have wanted to see me first."

"You and Gawaine are on two different levels in Merlin's mind. Gawaine is a friend and you, I believe, he thinks of as a soulmate. Gawaine is no threat to Merlin at the moment, he can accept him as a friend regardless of what had happened to him. You on the other hand are more frightening to him. In his mind, he has decided that you will never be able to forget what happened or forgive him for letting it happen."

"Gaius, what happened was not Merlin's fault and I told him that immediately I was cut free by Gawaine. I washed him, dried him helped him get dressed and brought him home to you. He must have known how I felt. I've worried over him continually for the last two days, I gave him the space he wanted. Waiting for him to want to see me and now...Oh Gaius what have I done?" Arthur put his head in his hands. "I know he feels indebted to Gawaine as he killed his attackers and held him when he was in shock. Oh, Gaius, I was jealous even then, because Gawaine had him in his arms when he was most vulnerable and I was still tied up. Is it possible that we are not meant to be together?"

Walking over to him, Gaius put his hands on his shoulders saying, "Don't talk nonsense, Arthur, he loves you and if you can return his love with any restrictions he might want to place on it, the two of you belong together. I think that Merlin is one of the sweetest, forgiving souls around. Now, you will have to carefully make the first move. Think about it, it is a decision only you can make and Arthur if you hurt him again, I can guarantee that in the fragile state which he is in, you will never see him anymore in Camelot."

Arthur raised his head looking at Gaius in disbelief but knowing deep down that what he had said, could happen. "I need your advice Gaius, I can't do this alone and the only other person who could help me is no longer talking to me..."

"Come back tomorrow. I will try to settle Merlin down again, even by now he might have realised that your look was for Gawaine and not him. Search your soul, you have the keys to Merlin's heart and you alone have to figure out which one you need."

Arthur stood up, glanced at Merlin's door hoping to see him standing there with a little grin on his face but the door was closed. He nodded to Gaius, walked back to his room, barred the door and threw himself on Merlin's side of the bed and cried.

* * *

><p>Gawaine came back to Gaius later that afternoon and said, "I think I have overstayed my welcome. Please thank Arthur for inviting me here and tell Merlin I'll miss him."<p>

"Gawaine, could you do me a favour? First, go to Merlin's room and tell him you are leaving and why. Make sure he is listening. Tell him Arthur's look of displeasure was intended for you as he was jealous seeing you with him. Then remind him of what Arthur did once he was cut free. Don't put your interpretations on it, just the facts. Remind him of what he said and the actions he did to prove that he still valued and loved him very much."

"What happened? Didn't Arthur want him back, Gaius? He's more of a fool than I thought."

"No, Gawaine, Merlin thought the look directed at you was for him. He went into his room without saying a word after you had left. No one will be happy living here with Arthur if Merlin leaves and I have a feeling that might happen. Your help would be appreciated and..." he smiled, "If we're successful in getting the love birds back together, I'll make sure that Arthur learns of your part in it. You'll be welcomed back to Camelot with open arms the next time you're in the area."

Gaius walked over to the fireplace, "I have fed Merlin his lunch but didn't talk about Arthur. He didn't get a drink, take it in to him and sit with him and see if he will listen. Remember, facts only Gawaine."

Gawaine took two mugs and with a heavy heart walked up the stairs to Merlin's room. Thinking that if Arthur is a fool, maybe Merlin would...he stopped and put the idea out of his head. He went to try to plead Arthur's case, to be his unbidden advocate, a medieval Cyrano.

* * *

><p>Arthur still undecided on how to approach Merlin, was wracking his brains. He was incapable of getting beyond, Merlin, the reason my world goes round. Merlin, the instigator, unable or never willing to let an opportunity pass; Merlin, the one who really understands me. Merlin, the peacemaker who never refuses to accept apologies and settle things immediately in the way he is best accomplished. Merlin, whom I think of as being closer to me than my skin. The man, I think of as Merlin My Love!<p>

Arthur shuddered, 'How do I approach someone who finally wanted to see me and whom I, upon seeing him, figuratively slapped him across the face with my insensitivity? How do you start?' He couldn't get it right. What did he really want to do? He knew, he'd known the whole time since the attack. He whispered to his room, "Merlin, I want to take you in my arms and hold you until we both are in control of our emotions." But then reality intervened once again, how did he get close enough to hold that person?

With a sad heart, Arthur made his way downstairs to dine with his father. Uther immediately pushed the dagger in even deeper by saying, "Glad to see that you have come to your senses and are not dragging that idiot around with you anymore. About time you got a real manservant!"

Arthur gritted his teeth, got control of himself and said, "Merlin is unwell..." He did not enjoy his meal not because the food wasn't excellent but it did not appeal to him as he had no appetite. Conversation was limited to what had taken place during training and news from outlying areas. Arthur thought, 'If you only knew, how disinterested I am at this moment, you would be shocked.'

"Did I see that ruffian knight around yesterday? I must insist that he is run off as soon as he steps foot in the lower town."

"Father, Gawaine recently saved my life when I was out hunting so I invited him back for a few days. He has, I believe, left."

The meal came to an end and Uther reminded Arthur of the Council Meeting the following morning. Arthur requested to leave the room and was dismissed. He left saying, "Good Night, Father."

* * *

><p>Merlin was restless, he was experiencing memories which he wished would leave his mind forever.<p>

_He saw the pond, the opening in the roof, the narrow entry way. He heard the rain and the roiling thunder. He saw the spectral lightening. He heard the horses. He felt Arthur against him, he knew he was safe._

_He felt the sand beneath his hand and the bedroll beneath his body._

_He saw the shaft of moonlight and remembered. He felt the pillar of sun and relaxed in its warmth. He let his mind rewind the years. He was on his first visit to Cave Two._

_'Merlin did you just ask...?'_

_'No, Arthur, I wouldn't, would I?'_

_'I'm not dreaming! Merlin, please...'_

_But time didn't hold, it shot forward out of control._

_'Help me, Arthur, stop them, Arthur please!'_

_'...golden boy?'_

_Hurt, abused, in shock, in desperate need. _

_Arms holding him. Gawaine. Hold me tightly. Never let go!_

_He was falling tumbling into a painful hole of darkness. No one could help; no one should know; no one would care. He was drowning, he was dead and being buried, the earth was warm but it was covering his face. He tried to swim up to the sun but he was frozen in time. Magic._

_'I need help, please someone listen to the sound beneath your feet. It's me... hear me...touch me...feel me...'_

_Strong arms hold me. Brave heart love me. Bright eyes see me. Someone look after me. _

_Merlin, it's me. I have you. You are safe, you are loved, you are desired. Don't leave me, stay here with me. I need you by my side. You are stronger than me. _

_Voices, sounds, loving hands, soft bed, warm sheets. Gaius. Tucked in safe and sound._

_Fluttering eyelids, parched lips, bruised body. Hands, Arthur._

_Candlelight, dim light, firelight, daylight. Opening eyes, opening ears, opening heart._

_He's back. Treat him carefully! Gaius._

_It's me Merlin, my love. It's Arthur. I have you safe._

_Eyes wide open, tears flowing. Pain simmering soon to be extinguished._

'_Arthur, oh Arthur, no one came!'_

'_I came, Merlin, I came.'_

* * *

><p>Arthur had returned to his chambers. Removing his doublet, he stood before the fire thinking about getting undressed and turning in. He kicked off his boots and sat on the double seated bench which Merlin, true to his word had arranged to have constructed, giving it to him as a surprise. Apart from the bed, it had become the most used piece of furniture in the room.<p>

He sat down running his hands over the upholstered sides and remembered the cozy evenings that they had spent curled up together without any worries. He understood exactly the word heartbroken, his heart had been damaged. For a moment, he empathised with his father who must have experiencing worse pain as his mother had died whereas, at least Merlin still lived and where there's life, there is also hope!

Arthur allowed the events of the last five days to flood his mind. It was the first time that he had had the luxury, if it could be called that, to think. Merlin was as safe as he could possibly be, he was with Gaius.

He wanted to be with him but he realised that Merlin obviously needed space, to accept what had happened. He had questions and those whom he needed to question and punish were no longer living.

His heart started racing as he felt again the inadequacy of his own actions. 'How could he have let them be captured? How could he have allowed anyone to do such things to Merlin?'

It was the surprise of the attack which had left him at such a disadvantage. 'What had he been thinking? Why didn't he fight harder to save Merlin?' He was stung by the fact that two men had managed to overpower him, a Camelot Knight, truss him up and thrown him to one side. He felt uncomfortable thinking of how insufficiently prepared he had been to protect the two of them. He relived the futility of his struggling and the sudden realisation of what the men had decided to do.

Arthur tried to reconcile his anger, 'How did they dare lay a hand on Merlin? He was his. He belonged to him alone. No one had the right to take his possessions!'

His thoughts upset him further, he knew he was wrong, he didn't own Merlin. Merlin was a free spirit to love whom he wished and he had chosen Arthur.

The men had ruined everything. His mind flashed to their first visit to the cave Merlin's openness and gentleness, his willingness to show him his feelings and accept in return Arthur's.

He wanted to rage against the world. No one treated him like that. He was a prince. How dare they even think about interfering in his life! But they had and he had to live with it.

Then it hit him, he didn't have to live with _it_, did he? What had he suffered? The humiliation at being tied up. He could accept his weakness but not the fact that due to it, someone was hurt.

No, not just someone, his Merlin.

He felt guilty, here he was ranting and raving as if he was the primary victim but he wasn't. It was Merlin who was suffering because of his pathetic attempt to surprise him on his birthday.

He remembered that first glance which Merlin had given him following the attack. It seemed to take all Merlin's will power to force himself to look at him. He thought, 'He was embarrassed in front of me for something which others had done to him. He was hurting physically and mentally yet he had sought my forgiveness.' Thinking of the look, Arthur felt renewed pain.

'Why did Merlin feel the need to apologise to me? Had Merlin not understood that no one, would consider him guilty of anything?' He was there, he had been the primary witness and never from his mind would he be able to erase the brutality and wickedness of the attack.

Arthur realised that Merlin's subsequent behaviour towards him, had frightened him. He needed to wrap his arms around him and look after him. However, Merlin seemed to have shut himself away from him, retreating into his own little world, unwilling to make contact. Arthur had reason to feel frightened as he felt that Merlin possibly believed himself guilty and unworthy of further notice.

Arthur's mind screamed, 'Merlin, I need you if only to be in your presence, not to even touch you if you are unable to accept that but just to be there.'

Arthur sobbed aloud, "I need you even if it makes no sense to you. I need to look at you so much, just to look at you would help me understand and accept how I feel...Maybe you, can't accept that at this very moment but..."

An exhausted Arthur fell into an uneasy sleep...

He was awoken by Merlin saying something. He reached for him then remembered. He opened his eyes to a shaft of moonlight hitting his face and he gasped at the memories of a silvered Merlin and of his words, 'Blessed by moonlight'. His fire had gone out, he was still on the bench and he was chilled. He turned to get a log and before he realised it, he was in the corridor and racing down the stairs. He had to remember to breathe. He arrived at Gaius's door and opened it quietly. He tiptoed past the sleeping physician and made for the little stairs.

Gaius was not surprised by the midnight intruder. He always figured, 'Love will out!' and went back to sleep.

Arthur quietly opened Merlin's door. The room was lit by moonlight and sitting up in the bed looking toward the window was the love of his life. He walked in and fell on his knees by the bed, Merlin turned and curled his hand around Arthur's head and Arthur could only manage to say, "The moon, Merlin..." before collapsing, his head on Merlin's leg, sobbing.

"I wanted you to come so much, Arthur, and then I saw the moon and I thought if he doesn't come tonight, he never will." One day, he might tell him that he had called out to him but not now. Words were unnecessary at the moment. There would be plenty of time for talking, they'd have the rest of their lives.

Merlin ran his hands through Arthur's hair, marveling at the silver colour. He bent forward and softly kissed the back of his neck. Arthur's skin felt frozen and he could see that he had no jacket or boots. He lifted up Arthur's head and said, "Arthur, you're freezing, let's go home..."

Arthur wrapped Merlin in a blanket and made him put on his boots. They walked quietly past Gaius who grunted, "... About time!" They both giggled letting themselves out into the corridor.

* * *

><p>Arthur put two more logs on the fire as Merlin went to get him shoes and more blankets. He sat beside him on their bench, not believing how different he felt from an hour ago. He put his head on Merlin's shoulder and his arms around him and snuggled into him. Suddenly, he remembered Merlin saying that with his arms around him, he would always feel safe. There was no need to talk. Merlin tilted his head so it rested on Arthur's, who could feel his breath as it ruffled his hair.<p>

Once, the room warmed up, Arthur stood, holding out his hand and Merlin took it. Arthur led him to the bed and pulled back the covers. He sat down and Arthur went to the other side and slipped into the bed. Merlin lay back, looking up at the curtains. Arthur assumed the same pose. They lay there relaxed, in silence.

Finally, he turned keeping his hands by his sides, and said, "Merlin, I love you, I always have and always will but now I am giving you my love with no ties, to accept or reject, or put on hold for the time being." He chanced a little peek at him.

Merlin turned to him and smiled, "My love for you never faltered. I was worried about your willingness to still want to love me. Do you see me as the same person?"

"For me, you're the same person, so I will always love you. I do love you but I will never force you, as I am happy and satisfied to have you back in my life and in my bed. Your feelings are paramount; if all you want from now on is a relationship between friends, I accept that." Arthur felt that he might have seen a slight smile on Merlin's face but he wasn't sure.

Merlin whispered, "Gawaine reminded me of all you had done for me that day. I was in shock, Arthur, and had remembered only little snatches, your washing away the blood and getting me dressed. I remembered the agony of riding and the hunting lodge but I had blacked out most of what happened before. Then Gaius examined me and listed all my injuries from the beatings including the rapes. He thinks I might have a cracked rib from the kick, I'm so bruised, I'm practically completely blue. But he was impressed with the work you did on my fingers, I can't remember any of that yet. My memory is slowly coming back and until I get my mind around it...could we just keep it low key for a while?"

"You get to be the decision maker in all things. I'll wait for you, Merlin, as long as you need. Just know, that you are stuck with me 'till death us do part!"

Merlin reached over and searched for Arthur's hand and took it. "I have so many blank spaces to fill in. I know what was done to me and I realise you witnessed it all. Please, promise me, don't say no...I need you now more than ever. Promise to hold me and help me as my memory returns."

Arthur was teary eyed, once again Merlin had taken over and set the perametres of their relationship which he was only too happy to obey. He rolled toward Merlin, brushing his lips gently over Merlin's hand. Merlin returned the chaste kiss and Arthur smiled and said, "Thank you..."

Merlin cuddled into him, Arthur gently supporting his damaged hand and they both lay there until Merlin drifted off...

Arthur smiled, his heart was full of love, Merlin was here with him. It didn't matter to him in which capacity.

He was with him...

.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10 : GIFTS FROM THE PAST**

...but life has its own schedule. Time crawls forward but can just as easily fall back.

_Home but memories challenge the security. Dusk, blessed sanctuary_.

Nights could be troubling. Arthur would come to, to a muffled sound of someone sobbing his heart out. He would move closer to him and just make the slightest physical contact so he would know that he wasn't alone.

Slowly, over time, reality took the fore. Memories faded but Merlin's mind would suddenly play cruel tricks.

_Then, there, now, here! He tried to hang onto only the good ones. Sometimes, he failed. There was a glimmer. A pinprick of light, a flame, a candle, lips, an arm, a chest, a hug, he shuddered and fell._

Arthur had been awoken by a whimper, a sob and a thump. He was out of bed in a second, by the firelight he could see a body on the floor. He climbed over and held his best friend in his arms, rocking him gently. Sending to this lost soul, all the love which over the years they had shared.

Arthur's face showed concern. He lay against the wall with an unresponsive Merlin in his arms.

Merlin felt someone's arms around him, a hand stroking his hair. He automatically turned towards the touch.

He recognized the voice speaking softly to him, "You're safe, I'm here. Merlin, it's me. I have you. You are safe, you are loved, you are desired."

_He felt warm raindrops fall on his face, he realised they were tears. Someone loved him enough to cry over him. He slipped away..._

Arthur's breath caught as he thought, 'Don't leave me, stay here with me. I need you by my side until I die. You are stronger than me. You will survive without me but I don't think I could survive without you.'

Picking up his friend, he walked to the bed, he sat him down and wrapped his fur lined blanket around him and rolled him carefully into the bed. He crawled in beside him and lay there with his arm across Merlin's chest. He flashed back to Cave One, had it been a protective or possession gesture? He now knew as did Merlin.

By the time Merlin settled, Arthur was often overcome with grief. His memories would take over and he would relive everything he had seen. while trussed against a cave wall. The cruelty, the human degradation, the suffering of an innocent soul because he, Arthur, had chosen him, from all the others and lead him into danger.

Words echoed around his mind, '_Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.'_

* * *

><p>Their love had progressed beyond solely being a relationship of bodies to one of minds that was more permanent than anything they had ever believed possible.<p>

It was a complete trust between two people, expressed by the hours they spent sitting on the upholstered bench talking; the joy of just being in each others company sometimes silent but still conscious of the other's feelings.

When they were fast asleep entangled in each other's arms, they experienced complete trust in each other and the knowledge that their love was strong enough to challenge anything which was thrown at them, regardless of its intensity or depravity.

Arthur and he were getting on well. Arthur was kind to him, biding his time. No pressuring, no wandering hands, letting him decide when he wanted to be held and kissed. Merlin knew it was hard for him but he'd lost all confidence in himself. The outgoing Merlin was gone, in his place was a shadow of his former self. Gaius's compendium was the furthest thing from his mind, he was actually afraid of even thinking about it.

He knew that he wasn't ready but one day, he was going to tell Arthur that he, Merlin wanted to once again show him how much he loved him. Not as Arthur had done everyday since his birthday but as he used to before that fateful day. Gaius had promised him that he would know when. One day, it would be right and it would just happen!

Luckily, he had a pet project, the turret room to keep his attention off the relationship or lack of, with Arthur.

In the meantime, that was sufficient excitement. Now that Merlin had the location, he needed among other things furnishings and linens. He put that search on the back burner as he made plans to secure the chambers and planned for possible trouble spots. They needed a supply of torches for the stairs. The torch left burning in the main corridor would give them a flame but if they wanted to go there at night, they'd need their own for the spiral stairs. Candles might suffice and they would be easier to get as he just asked in his position as Arthur's manservant, and they were delivered to their chambers. Anyway, that would be easy to remedy by trial and error.

Firstly, he needed to change the lock on the door in the main corridor leading to the stairs. The door of the upper landing was simply barred from the inside for security purposes. He decided that one key would remain with Gaius and the others would be for Arthur and him. He also mentioned to housekeeping that the corridor curtain in front of a door near Arthur's chambers, smelled musty and Arthur had noticed it. Could it be aired and if necessary replaced? Four days later a new curtain was hung.

He would also need to think of fuel for the colder days, He could take some of the logs, brought to Arthur's chambers by the housekeeping staff in charge of fires. They could be stored in the little entry at the bottom of the stairs and then carried upstairs when their hands were empty. In cold weather, when all the fires in the castle were lit, one more smoking chimney would not be noticed. Merlin closed his eyes imagining their secret room with a blazing fire, the rain beating on the window and the two of them tucked in bed.

Arthur and he explored all the areas of the castle which were uninhabited. He was surprised as it seems that there was one section of large abandoned rooms, some chock-a-block full of no longer required furniture and other treasures. He realised that these rooms would have been suitable hide-aways but then figured more people might notice their continual trekking to this wing. Having the Turret Room just down their hallway, made more sense.

They decided that any big items which caught their fancy, would only be suitable if they could be dismantled as anything cumbersome, wouldn't go up the stairs. The idea of carrying these bulky pieces did not appeal to either of them.

Merlin fooled, "Good Morning Sire, and what a lovely day it is. May I help you carry that refectory table? Oh, your manservant has all those chairs, let me help him too! What, not to your chambers but to leave them near this curtain in the corridor? Very well, your Majesty!"

Then Arthur got into the act, "Gaius, we need your help... Merlin has been wedged on a spiral staircase since this morning. I need him to help me bathe and dress. We need a saw and maybe some grease." They both thought they were so funny, especially Arthur who began miming a stuck manservant.

Gaius although he would be told about it and invited to view it, would not be expected to climb and carry objects so the bulk of the work would be left to Arthur and Merlin. As Arthur put it, "Surely, Merlin, we should be able to manage this ourselves."

Which remark, Merlin translated in a mocking tone as, "Surely Merlin, you should be able to manage this yourself."

"I really like that screen," said Arthur looking at a very heavy, oak tri-fold with decorative wrought iron inserts. "It would look great in my chambers."

Merlin agreed, "Yes! It's nice, but you already have one!"

"Yes, but that could go to the new room."

"Why do you need a screen when it's only you and me? No servants or knights are going to come in. And don't give me any rot about your being prudish or embarrassed. There will be no one there but the two of us. If you feel the necessity to hide while you disrobe, you can hide in the antechamber."

"Why should I use the antechamber, as it is supposed to be the quarters of the royal manservant? You can go in the antechamber."

"But Arthur, I would never consider the need to change behind a screen?"

Arthur raised his eyebrows and smiled, pursing his lips, "So, I've noticed, Merlin."

"Well then, if I'm to be banished to the antechamber, are you telling me in nice way that you no longer want me to be your dresser?"

"Certainly not. I need your help. Even though, sometimes, when you're feeling disrespectful to your future monarch, you can be a hindrance instead of a help."

"Me, a hindrance never, I just have a clearer view of the situation than you do. Remember, all work and no play can make Arthur, a right royal bastard."

"It's good, no one hears your saying things like that to me. You'd be in the cells for insubordination and I would be in the neighbouring cell for inability to put a servant in his place, to meter out punishment and to know when it is time to hire a new dogsbody!"

"It's a good thing, my Mam doesn't hear half of what you say to me or you'd be expelled from our family immediately!"

"It's a good thing, my father doesn't hear any of what you say to me as he'd be..." Arthur started to giggle and then finally laughed aloud.

"He'd be what...?" But Arthur couldn't get his breath. Merlin grabbed his arm and twisted it up his back. "O.K., under penalty of death, what were you going to say?"

"It's too funny to say it aloud. Come here and I'll whisper to you." Merlin let go of his arm and Arthur put it on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, making sure the word sank in by blowing in his ear.

Merlin pulled back grinning, "How can I ever face Uther again knowing what effect I have on him, according to his son? It won't fly I can promise you that. I'd rather the two of us where in adjoining cells for a lifetime than that."

Arthur didn't see it coming but the next thing he knew, he'd been grabbed and thrown across the bed. Plumes of long-forgotten dust rose in clouds and had both of them sneezing. "Merlin, what are you trying to do asphyxiate us?" He got up brushing himself off. Merlin lay there laughing.

Merlin stood and walked to Arthur and said, "Surely, Arthur, we can take care of this ourselves. Feeling a little asphyxia coming on, Arthur, how about a little mouth to mouth?"

But Arthur was faster this time and slipped a cushion in front of his face and thwarted Merlin's amorous advances. "Save it for later, when we're clean. Don't want to end up looking like a couple of dust bunnies!"

"Shame really, knowing your love for all long eared, hoppy things! No problem though as mouth to mouth is also useful if you should ever get into difficulties in the bath..."

"You wouldn't..."

"Don't bet on it! What about this chest?"

"Seems a mite, scrawny if you ask me..."

Merlin caught him across the head with the same cushion. "The clothes chest, Arthur... follow the conversation please!"

"Talk about hoppy things, your mind is not unlike a grasshopper. I see, so now we're back in the furniture moving business?"

By the time, they were ready to leave, they had placed on one side, everything which they thought suitable for their turret chambers. Two chairs to be upholstered, one circular table, the chest, and a lovely old bench which they decided would go in their little courtyard along with a small square table and last but not least the screen.

Then Merlin made the find of the quarter century. Opening a heavily decorated, metal studded chest, he was surprised to find clothes wrapped in linen packaging. Undoing one, he pulled out a beautiful lady's dress, embroidered with pearls. Arthur was shocked, why were clothes like this here? They dug around and found mostly feminine attire. One little packet had some embroidered baby clothes. There was a list inside and Merlin's heart dropped. He could make out the word Arthur.

He immediately covered it over but Arthur was quicker and picked it up. Merlin waited afraid to talk.

Arthur's eyes opened wide and he shook his head. He couldn't believe his eyes. Everything suddenly fell into place. He sat down heavily and said, "Igraine...?"

Merlin looked at him and saw the anguish of a little boy deprived of a mother. He just knelt quietly beside him.

Arthur had nothing from his mother. No likeness, no baubles, and even worse no memories. He only had the stories which Gaius had told him about her. Now, he had found a mother lode!

He wiped away the tears and looked at Merlin and said, "My mother touched all these things... and my father must have told her maidservants to put them away."

Arthur, lifted up a lace chemise and held it to his cheek closing his eyes. Letting his mind go, he imagined a lady holding him and he would feel the lace and hear her heart beating. He suddenly blushed as he realised how strange it must seem for a twenty-seven year old to be doing silly things like that. He looked at Merlin who also had tear-filed eyes and whispered, "We're such a couple of girls..."

Merlin's first impulse had been to put his arms around Arthur but he realised, he was just an observer of an emotional scene not a participant.

At the bottom of the chest, under all the finery was a little box. Arthur opened it and found a blond hair bracelet. Gaius had told him that Igraine was blond. He put it back in the box and placed it beside him on the floor. More treasures, jewellrey, decorated hair combs and a regular brush and comb, embroidering supplies, all in the bottom of the chest that had lain here for close to twenty-seven years. Why hadn't his father...?

Arthur handed them back to Merlin to wrap but put aside two heavy pewter brooches, a lightweight lady's goblet and the brush and comb.

Merlin glanced at Arthur and said solemnly, "You've waited a long time, Arthur..."

"Merlin, my heart is beating so fast, I feel as if I have done a training session with Lancelot. Do you think there is anything else?"

In an old armoire, they found cloaks including a red one, floor length, winter weight of heavy, doubled boiled wool. Arthur also put that with his pile of souvenirs. "Choose something, Merlin, I want you to have a present from Igraine as well."

Arthur pulled out a woolen, deep blue heavy travelling cloak and held it up to him. "It'll fit, do you like it?" Merlin nodded.

Arthur put his hands on his shoulders and said, "Merlin, this is a little gift to you from my mother because like her, you have only my best interests at heart." He watched as two huge tears spilled down Merlin's cheeks. He watched them roll down and plop on his jacket. He undid Merlin's neckerchief and dried his eyes. He handed it back to Merlin who promptly wiped his nose with it and stuffed it up his sleeve. Arthur smiled, how he wished that his mother could have met his best friend in the whole world... "Don't be sad, I'm not. I have things which she touched and valued and no one but you and I know."

They continued searching and found sheets and blankets; all carefully wrapped with lavender and clean to boot.. They both smiled, more supplies for the Turret Room. There were pillows and curtain lengths suitable for a heavy bed cover.

Merlin said, "I think we hit the jackpot. Clean linens and so much we need, being given to us by your mother. Arthur, it will make those chambers so special..." He looked up and said, "Arthur, it's getting dark. Let's take what we can carry and return to our chambers. We can clean the Turret and then slowly start taking the furniture we want. Merlin looked at the screen, it had pins in the hinges and he knew he could remove them and if Arthur really wanted it, they could make three trips, the crucial word being they. The table might be a little difficult but it could always be dismantled and reassembled. The chest would have to be measured to see if it could fit up the stairs as otherwise, he might find himself being covered in grease, prior to slipping out an arrow slot and rappelling to the ground.

Arthur, put the small things in his pocket and threw both cloaks and the curtain fabric over his shoulders. Merlin carried sheets and pillows and like bounty hunters they returned carefully to their chambers.

Slowly, the room took shape. The curtain lengths, bed linens and pillows were aired on a breezy day in their little courtyard. They hung the aired cloaks on pegs in the antechamber. Arthur kept his little treasures locked in the chest in their bedchamber.

Merlin felt that Arthur was more at peace with himself as he had experienced his mother even if only remotely. He would sometimes smile in a dreamy way and Merlin knew that it wasn't him in that dream but Igraine. He was willing to share Arthur with her any day.

Arthur insisted on telling Gaius about his good fortune. He and Merlin had returned to the chamber again and Arthur had found a big thick blanket which he felt would be wonderful for Gaius during the cold weather. Gaius was obviously touched and pleased with the gift. He thanked Arthur for thinking of him. Arthur said, "Gaius, for all the times you have helped me, this blanket is only a fraction of what I owe you. You and I share so many memories."

Gaius explained that his mother had had some lovely things but they had disappeared from the Queen's bedchamber. Now, he realized that the maids had been instructed to pack everything away. Arthur told him about his unused baby clothes and all the jewellrey. They sat talking at the table in the physician's chambers as Merlin made herbal infusions and they handled the objects which had once belonged to Arthur's mother.

Merlin put down the three mugs and felt that there was a fourth person who should have been a part of the little celebration but he had not been invited.

* * *

><p><em>Merlin opens the door to Arthur's chambers just after noon to deliver lunch. He walks in, placing the tray carefully on the table and turns to see the prince lying on the bed.<em>

_"I just made that bed, Arthur, and you have your dirty boots on the counterpane."_

_"My chambers, my bed, my boots, my servant!"_

_Merlin remembers turning to pour some wine. Arthur is suddenly behind him. Merlin didn't even hear him coming. He grabs him pulling him to the bed._

_"No, Arthur, not yet!"_

_"Yes!"_

_"Please, no!"_

_"I'm tired of waiting... maybe...you preferred them?"_

_Merlin is shocked. How could Arthur say that? He was there and saw the whole thing, how could he even think that? He feels trapped and frightened, he's never seen this side of Arthur. Once, again, he pleads, "Arthur, no!"_

_"I said yes, and my word goes..."_

_"But, Arthur you promised... You agreed, we'd wait!"_

_"I'm tired of waiting and you're my servant...and I said, 'Yes!'"_

_Merlin feels his heart racing, he feels physically sick. He needs time. Arthur had promised that he would respect Merlin's wishes. He'd said that he loved him._

_Arthur grabs him, holding him tight, "I command you!"_

_Feeling, himself falling but never hitting the bed, Merlin starts fighting but Arthur is stronger... The cave scenario flashes before him and Arthur becomes the abuser._

_Merlin is thrashing, sobbing, pleading, "Arthur, don't! Arthur, you're hurting me. Don't! Someone, help me! Gaius... help me..."_

* * *

><p>Arthur leaned over putting his arms around him, holding him gently, calling his name, telling him to wake up. "Merlin, it's alright. It's me Arthur. I've got you. You're here with me."<p>

Merlin started to fight again. Hitting him, kicking him and trying to get away from him. He remembered...

But Arthur was too strong, Merlin felt panic building up in him. He sobbed, "Arthur you promised!"

When he finally came to, Merlin was confused and not completely coherent. He kept mentioning lunch and broken promises.

Arthur held him carefully. Merlin had had nightmares before but this one was probably the worst as when he awoke, he was still convinced that whatever had happened was real. Gaius had taken Arthur on one side and prepared him for such events, telling him to keep hold of him, to speak slowly and softly and wait for him wake up completely.

Merlin finally accepted that it was a bad dream. "See," Arthur said, "It's nighttime, and it's just us..."

"But...you wouldn't listen to me," Merlin sobbed. "You said that it was your bed...and I was your manservant and so...and then you said, 'I command you'...and I was falling in space...and the cave and..." he sobbed, "and you..."

Arthur was hurt, that Merlin even in his dreams would think that of him. He looked at him and said, "Merlin, is that how you see me?"

Merlin shook his head.

"Have I ever forced you?"

Merlin again shook his head.

"I'd never do that. Merlin Love! I couldn't...you wouldn't...we'd never treat each other that way...Come here..."

Merlin slid into Arthur's arms.

Arthur kissed Merlin's head and then his forehead and Merlin tipped his face back and Arthur, his lips hardly touching Merlin's, kissed him.

An angelic smile stole over Merlin's face, erasing the troubled creases between his eye brows and he relaxed. His eyes lost the frightened stare of a startled deer. He felt safe and secure in Arthur's arms. It had been a dream, his Arthur would never break a promise to him. He snuggled into Arthur whispering, "One day, Arthur, one day soon, I promise..."


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11 : UP ABOVE THE WORLD YOU FLY**

The next month saw much work being done on the turret room. It was swept clean and scrubbed of years of neglect. Gaius had sent sweetly scented herbs to scatter over the floor and mattress. Each footstep released a pleasant fragrance. Merlin no longer sported physical scars, the bruises were gone and the fingers healed, he happily washed windows and cleaned walls.

The activity seemed to have helped him. He was now relaxed in the company of the knights who following Arthur's lead had been low key but supportive. He had regained his confidence and was more at ease in public. He would sometimes stiffen when he heard a deep voice which he didn't recognise but Arthur would look at him, smile and if possible reach out and touch him.

Merlin and Arthur's relationship was still tenuous but Arthur no longer worried that he would suddenly vanish as had happened a few times at the beginning. Many times, he would return windblown and red-cheeked to tell Arthur that he should also be out riding more often, so he made it a point of going off riding, on his free afternoons alone his friend.

Merlin would often talk about his recent ordeals. It hurt Arthur hearing Merlin apologise for what happened.

The first time it happened, he looked at Merlin's downcast head and said, "You owe me no apology. I should be apologising for having been unable to stop them." Arthur would listen, sometimes reaching over to put his hand on his knee to show that he understood how hard it was for him. Gaius had advised that he let Merlin do the talking; he told Arthur that he should be a compassionate ear or something like that which Arthur understood to mean, shut up and listen. They roamed near and far but always returned to the castle for the night.

Merlin's memory had returned as Gaius had said it would but it had taken time and there were still a few nights of troubled dreams and no sleep for either of them. Merlin would toss and turn pleading, "Please, Arthur, stop them. Don't let this happen again." Arthur would hold him and when he finally was awake, Merlin would murmur, "I didn't mean it to happen, Arthur, I didn't ask for it." Arthur used to kiss his hands and say, "I know, Merlin, I know..."

Arthur kept his promise and although he was dying to resume their old life which he and Merlin had enjoyed. He let Merlin be the leader. There were a few stolen kisses but they always ended with hugs. Merlin liked to refer to them as the two K's: Kisses and Kuddles.

Arthur and he managed to get a little metal bound chest up the stairs. It was well cleaned inside and then filled with lavender and Arthur had found it relaxing polishing it, much to Merlin's amusement. The table had been reassembled; the chairs reupholstered. Candelabras, curtains and bed covers were ready. Sheets and pillows aired and then wrapped to keep them clean. Arthur had insisted that extra clothes, including dressing gowns were also hung in the antechamber, or Arthur's dressing room as Merlin kept mischievously referring to it. Everything thing they needed was there. Arthur had received from a visiting prince a silver wolf skin, he already had a black one so, they were added as decoration, or rugs if needed.

Gaius had given Merlin a little wooden box full of medical supplies, salves, bandages, and potions. Everything was labeled with easy instructions. He had also added a heavy iron kettle and two mugs. The fireplace already had firedogs with a hook. Merlin teased Arthur that as he had professed an interest in learning to cook, he could start by learning how to make warmed cider and infusions.

Day by day, Arthur could see Merlin reverting to his Problem Child of old, full of laughter and quick repartees. Arthur teased him and he said he'd preferred to be called an idiot than a child but Arthur leant over the seated Merlin and kissed the top of his head saying, "All the problems you have caused in my life, humour me and let me use it, it's a name of endearment."

"Like Prat?" Merlin quipped.

"Yes," said Arthur, "Like Prat but I say Problem Child with love and warm, cozy feelings but sometimes, I have my doubts that that is why you use Prat."

"Arthur, I always think only the best of you when I use it. Well maybe not always...no, to think of it, seldom do I say it with love. I reserve that for my pet name for you."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, Merlin had a pet name for him. "Tell me!"

"No...Arthur, it's for me alone, when you have me safely cuddled in your arms."

"I'll make you." He reached over and put his arms around Merlin's neck and nibbled on his ear. He ran his little finger down Merlin's back and he shuddered. "Do you give up?" He held his finger in front of Merlin's face threatening the repeated torture. Wagging his finger, he again said, "Do you give up? Otherwise, I will withhold all signs of affection, especially kisses and cuddles."

"Arthur, that is mean and cruel, you are bossy and unlovable." He grinned... Arthur pointed the offending finger at him again and he said meekly, trying to latch onto it, "Very well, under duress, I'll tell you" He thought in retrospect that Arthur had certainly shown recently that he was not mean, cruel or bossy! He trusted him implicitly and he was lovable.

Arthur turned him around to face him and said, "Alright, out with it! What is your pet name for me?"

Merlin smiled sweetly into his eyes and said, "Bunny-Killer..." While the look of surprise was still on Arthur's face, Merlin reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. Arthur responded and by the time Merlin pulled back with a far-away look in his eyes, they were breathless.

Arthur held him without commenting or pressuring him, until he had his breath back then whispered in his ear. "Bunny-Killer loves his Problem Child very much." He felt Merlin relax and give him a little smile.

That night, Arthur with Merlin cuddled up to him, replaying the kiss in his mind smiled, as he fell asleep holding his Problem Child... and waiting patiently.

* * *

><p>Arthur was always tense when Merlin was in public. When he had flashbacks, he responded best to being held and spoken to quietly and lovingly. No all occasions offered that possibility. He remembered one recent occurrence.<p>

Merlin although he had insisted that he could resume his duties was, Arthur realised, so doing because he didn't want to be alone. Arthur watched his friend fight his recent memories, sometimes catching the horror and repulsion on his face as his mind reverted to that last visit to the cave.

Arthur had tried to seek information about the two men but nothing had surfaced about two bodies being found and as he didn't want his enquiries to become common knowledge, he let it go.

Merlin's flashbacks could happen at any moment and, the worse thing for Arthur was to realise it was happening and he was unable to get close enough to him to whisper his support or let him know that he was physically at hand.

One episode had happened as he had been in attendance on Arthur in the Council Chambers. Suddenly, Arthur had noticed that Merlin was no longer on the stool behind his chair but wandering around the room with a frightened look, searching for a safe place to hide.

Uther was distracted by Merlin's passing in front of him, he cleared his throat and Merlin ignored him. "Arthur, can't you at least keep control of one servant."

Arthur glanced up and his heart sank. The king had noticed and Merlin was so far in the past that he was not conscious of the on-going conversation. He thought fast and decided there was only one way out.

"Sire, he has not been sleeping and gets a little distracted." He walked across the room and into the king's line of vision blocking Merlin's erratic progress across the room. He put his hand between his shoulder blades and gently turned him to face him. Merlin obediently turned but made no eye contact. Arthur said loudly for the king to hear, "Merlin, wake up. You're sleepwalking!"

Merlin heard Arthur's voice and he made eye contact followed almost simultaneously by flashes of recognition, guilt and a pleading for acceptance.

Arthur smiled, "Merlin, it's me, you're safely home." He had two choices send Merlin alone to his chambers or keep him with him in the meeting until it was finshed. He knew by now that lunch was approaching then he would be able to have a heart to heart with him.

He put his hand on his back although his heart was telling him to hug him. He steered him behind the table to his own chair and laughingly said, "As you seem incapable of staying on the stool, stand beside me where I can see you!" He placed him between himself and Uther.

Uther glared at the two of them but Sir Rupert stepped into the breach saying, "Sire, if we respond in said vein, will it not further the animosity?"

Arthur though, 'Good for you, Rupert, taking Uther's mind off Merlin."

Glancing away from Merlin and Arthur, Uther held firm, "If we need to use force and animosity is the result, so be it!"

While Uther responded to Rupert, he was able to take Merlin's hand and give it a little squeeze which was returned and Arthur glanced up into his face smiling and winked at him.

* * *

><p>The situation improved but it seemed these regressions were not as yet a thing of the past. Merlin mentioned them to Gaius who told him that as time passed there would be no subconscious flashbacks, they would finally recede into stored memories that could only be retrieved by a conscious act. "Merlin, I promise...You'll get there one day."<p>

Merlin had been busy , he'd been up early to get breakfast and dress Arthur as they had visitors arriving, the new Earl and Countess of Wilmslow. Later in the afternoon, Gaius was going to make his first visit to their secret chambers. Merlin had picked up some sweetmeats and a small amount of mead. Their first and only-ever-to-be visitor needed a special welcome.

Arthur escorted him and like the future king of the castle, he proudly showed Gaius their hideaway. He was suitably impressed with the furnishings and the size of their chambers. Arthur then had to leave as he had a meeting with his father's guests

Gaius sat with Merlin in the courtyard soaking up the autumn sun. He looked at Merlin and smiled, reflecting on the day, when Arthur had opened the door saying, 'Gaius, Merlin needs you!' and he had opened his arms to the shell of the man he had seen two days previous. He was sure that the tenuous love between Arthur and him, had speeded his recovery. Arthur needed to be congratulated for his self discipline and tenacity.

"Merlin, Arthur has been a very good friend over the past weeks, have your feelings for him changed at all? Are you maybe ready to show him that you still love him?"

Merlin blushed and said, "Gaius, you know that I love him and he knows that I love him. I am more comfortable with him than anyone else in the world. One day, the alarm bells are going to ring in the middle of the night and while everyone dashes around to find an invisible intruder, you will know that we are again one, not only mind and spirit but also body."

Gaius looked at this young man, a powerful sorcerer and dragonlord, thanking his lucky stars that his friend Hunith had entrusted him to an old Court Physician in Camelot who had come to consider him as his son.

Merlin escorted Gaius down the stairs. They halted at the bottom while Merlin unlocked the main door and opened it, the hall curtain across the alcove moved slightly. Merlin turned back to lock the door and with a grin of satisfaction said, "Arthur and I will have to be careful but we are determined to have time together beyond the castle and at the moment this is the best we can do. The corridor is a dead end so it is only people crossing in the main corridor that might be trouble."

Merlin and Gaius stood in the little alcove, waiting, listening for footsteps, Merlin pulled the curtain back saw that it was all clear and Gaius and he were in the corridor.

* * *

><p>After helping Arthur dress for supper, the two of them made their way to the dining hall, where Uther was entertaining the guests. Arthur had to remind Merlin twice that he needed more wine and he was surprised to feel Merlin's fingers purposely rub against his thigh. He glanced up at him but he was looking elsewhere. The meal dragged on and finally Uther rose and the guests and the king's advisors retired to their rooms.<p>

Arthur and Merlin made their way to their room and as Merlin barred the door, Arthur smiled at him shyly and said, "Feeling frisky tonight, were we?"

Merlin shrugged and walked across the room, waiting to help Arthur undress. Handing him his dressing gown, he went to put away his clothes. He put more logs on the fire, got two goblets of wine and slipped off his boots to sit beside Arthur on the bench in front of the fire. "Arthur, could you lend me some money?" Arthur looked at him. "I want to ask Carpenter Giles to build another bench for the turret? I would pay you back out of my wages, that is when you remember to pay me."

Arthur spluttered, sending wine all over the place, using his sleeve to wipe off his chin, he said, "No, sorry Merlin, I can't lend you any money as you have no wherewithal to repay me."

"We could barter."

Arthur raised his head and looked at him. "...what have you got that is worth an upholstered bench?"

"Me..?"

Arthur looked at him shocked, and said from his heart. "Merlin, I would never allow you to you trade yourself for a crumby bench and I would kill anyone who suggested such a thing, including you... You are too precious to me, to be considered a commodity." He laughed saying, "So no bartering, you'll have to think of something else."

"Arthur, you must be a millionaire and all I want is a crumby half gold piece...I've got it! I know what I'll do. It's all settled. That's one thing off my mind."

"So, don't I at least, get to hear what your solution is?"

Merlin shrugged and glanced across at Arthur, "Maybe Gawaine will lend it to me then..."

Merlin knew that he was going to have to pay for that remark but looked up from below his fringe and blinked his eyes. Arthur's heart leapt. His Merlin was coming back. He carefully pushed back the dark hair and kissed his eyes. He ran his finger down Merlin's nose and ran it back and forwards across his lower lip. Merlin was completely relaxed and lifted his head to look into Arthur's eyes. He smiled and Arthur's heart did cartwheels.

The man whom he had treated with kid gloves for so long, was responding to him.

Merlin gently kissed Arthur and sitting on that bench in front of a roaring fire, he realised that he was ready to love Arthur again. They sat there like a couple of teenagers necking. Arthur was very respectful, and followed Merlin's lead. If the truth was to be known, Arthur was probably more nervous than Merlin.

Arthur was holding Merlin's hand rubbing his thumb over the noticeable mends in his fingers. Merlin suddenly was conscious of what he was doing, pulled his hand away, stood up saying that he was going to turn in.

As Arthur followed him to the bed, he realised what he had done. Merlin would have those scars for life but Arthur didn't intend to limit the number of fingers which he was allowed to hold. He decided to apologise. As was always the problem with Arthur, his apologies seemed so forced. So he just reached for Merlin's hand and said, "Sorry, Love, my fault!" and kissed each of the offending fingers.

Merlin snuggled into him saying. "One day, soon it will be more that only 'kisses and kuddles', I promise."

Two days later, Arthur had the afternoon off as Uther and the Earl were having private discussions. Merlin was no where to be found but on the bed Arthur found Gaius's compendium, lying across the cover were two yellow primroses. He remembered, 'I can't live without you', and smiled. He put the compendium back in his drawer and carried the two primroses to the turret room...

* * *

><p>The sun was in the west when Merlin finally roused Arthur. He turned and smiled up at him and Merlin couldn't resist one more kiss before reminding him that if he moved now, he had time to bathe and dress before he was due to attend the farewell dinner for the new Earl and Countess.<p>

They stopped for a hug before they left the chamber and descended the stairs, Arthur glancing out of the arrow loops, thinking how wonderful life was now that Merlin was his again.

Merlin was deep in thought. Arthur had proved that he loved him, as he had respected his wishes and waited for him to decide. Merlin smiled as he noticed over the trees, on an updraft, a merlin lazily surveying its territory.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Merlin turned waiting for Arthur. He pivoted, pinning him against the wall with full body contact. "There I something about you, Arthur Pendragon, Crown Prince of Camelot, that puzzles me."

"Sometimes, I even puzzle myself." Arthur said and leaned in for a kiss.

While Arthur bathed, Merlin laid out his formal evening wear, actually styled on the clothes he had received in Wilmslow. He also checked his own clothes for something special. He wanted everyone to see that he was a member of the royal household and appropriately dressed to serve the crown prince. He held up a pair of doeskin buff pants, a burgundy jacket and a beige tunic with a fitted neck.

"Arthur, stop watching me..."

"Why?"

"Because I can't concentrate on what I'm doing. You're interrupting me..."

"I didn't say anything..."

"No, but you looked it!"

"And, Merlin, what exactly does 'you looked it' mean?"

"I don't know, Arthur, when you stare and think things... you get in the way and I..."

"But Merlin I'm here and you're over there."

"I know but it's just not funny..."

"Yes, it is, because it's nothing, funny or otherwise."

"It is, Arthur.

"Well, what is it then?"

"I don't know but I feel it when you are doing it and it's weird."

"Merlin, you're eye-candy!"

"What's that?"

"It's you, something about you that turns me on, not counting some of the knights, especially Gawaine, half of the Ladies of the Court and most of the castle maids."

"Don't be silly Arthur, no one notices me except Uther, when I make mistakes."

"I beg to differ. I remember taking quick peaks at you before you worked for me. I was scared you would notice, blush and bolt; I wanted to make you stand still, so I could feast my eyes. When you first worked for me, it was not unlike a wish granted; I could watch you to my heart's content. Now, I get to watch you the whole time, from when I wake up until I fall asleep, still watching you. Merlin, I could sit here all evening just watching you..."

"You couldn't, I know you. You'd get bored and then...you'd want ..."

"You can't tell me what bores me, I'm the Crown Prince."

"Well then, Prince Crown-ness, get out of the bath, and let me get you dressed for dinner.

Arthur got up and came to Merlin and whispered to him. "Merlin, don't you sometimes just sit and watch me?"

"Never, Arthur."

"Liar!"

Merlin grinned blushing...

Arthur was finally dressed. Then, there had been a slight delay with Merlin's dressing, as Arthur decided he wanted to help; that wouldn't happen again unless they had a couple of hours to spare.

They made their way to the dining hall. Arthur turned to check the corridor and putting his hand on Merlin's shoulders, let it slip to his waist, Merlin turned smiling and Arthur putting his hand on his backside, said, "Merlin, those trousers will be the death of me."

Merlin slipped away from him and said, "Think of no one else, Love!" which set Arthur's heart racing.

Gaius raised his eyebrow as they walked in. Arthur was laughing at something Merlin had said and body language told it all. Merlin stood behind his chair for all to see, the ever faithful manservant. During the meal, he leaned over Arthur to ask him, under the general hubbub of conversation, if there was anything he wanted, "Not that would be appropriate at the moment, Merlin, thank you." And then as he pulled away, Arthur said, "Ask me again tonight..."

When the speeches were being made, Merlin made his way to sit beside Gaius. He smiled at Merlin saying, "You look most handsome tonight! ...and did I not hear the alarm bells ringing this afternoon?"

Merlin turning blushed, his face broke into his famous grin, "Maybe, Gaius, maybe!"


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12 :** **AN OFFER OF LODGEMENT**

Gaius was sitting in his little courtyard enjoying the sun and the little bird which sang in the solitary tree. It was on a day like this many years ago, he had been in his chambers, up to his eyes in chemicals and infusions.

He looked up as one of the older squires knocked and entered. "Sir, do you know where I can find Sir Geoffrey, there is a messenger in the courtyard who needs to see him immediately. The squire master told me to find him as soon as possible."

"Did you try the library?"

"He wasn't there and they sent me here."

"Go and find Sir Rupert, he might know where he is. Try the Council Room." The squire gave a little bow and hurried on his way.

Gaius walked down into the courtyard to see if maybe the messenger would leave the message with him. The man greeted him but was reluctantly to leave it with anyone but Sir Geoffrey himself. He was one of the retainers from Yewdene, the Monmouth family estate and Gaius surmised it had something to do with Geoffrey's family.

Geoffrey's father, Sir Mawley, had died five years ago and left the estate to Geoffrey. His mother, Lady Imelda had remained on the estate with her beloved merlins and a cousin to keep her company, supported by her faithful staff.

Gaius arranged for a groom to take the messenger's horse to the stables, inviting the messenger to come into the staff quarters for refreshments while Geoffrey was run to earth. The man was visibly upset which convinced Gaius that it wasn't good news.

Gaius found another squire and sent him to the Squire Master telling him where the Monmouth messenger was waiting for Geoffrey

Finally Geoffrey was found. Gaius feeling that he might need support, waited.

The messenger and Geoffrey walked out into the kitchen gardens and Gaius watched the messenger give Geoffrey a missive and walk a distance away giving him privacy. Geoffrey sat on a bench and read the missive and put his head in his hands. He returned to the kitchens very upset and Gaius took him back to his chambers and put on the kettle.

Geoffrey's mother had died overnight. The letter was from his aunt, requesting that he return to Yewdene to arrange the funeral and settle the estate as she intended to now spend time with another elderly family member who needed company.

"Gaius, she couldn't have gone in a better way, to fall asleep and never wake up. It was a gift from God. She had been well and had not been suffering, she was just very old. I'm going to pack a few things and leave at noon. I'll ride straight through and if the weather holds and it is light, we should be there this evening. Bill will wait and ride with me. His horse can't do that distance again so he'll take one of the castle horses. Someone can ride back to collect his, later in the week."

"I'll just notify Uther and be on my way. Thanks for your support and listening to me."

Gaius stood in the stable yard and watched Geoffrey and his retainer on a borrowed horse leave Camelot.

Uther decided that representatives from the court and council should attend the funeral as a result Sirs Rupert and Leon were chosen by the king. Arthur requested to attend as he had always remained close to Lady Imelda. So, Gaius had Romney accompany him.

Geoffrey returned after the funeral and told Gaius that he had decided to put a trusted steward in charge of Yewdene and keep it in the family for a nephew to inherit. He'd use it when he had time off. It was filled with memories and the staff in the stables, the mews, the house and Home Farm were faithful to the family and had been with them for generations so he wanted them to have a place to live.

Gaius smiled to himself, he had been a guest at the house. He could see why Geoffrey wanted to keep it. It was well run by a housekeeper and the cook was excellent. Uther had even stayed there as had many of the knights, even Arthur. 'Yes,' he thought, 'Yewdene was a wonderful house and he was glad that Geoffrey was still the owner.'

* * *

><p>Arthur talking about taking time off for a holiday away from the castle, "I've had it Merlin. If I don't get away, I'm going to go into the Council Room and when my father says, '...and what do you think Arthur?' I will just stand there and scream. It's too much, I want us to go away, only for a couple of days... to wake up outside Camelot far away, just us and the horses.<p>

Merlin froze and didn't say a word and Arthur looked at him enquiringly. Suddenly reality hit him, he was describing their previous trips outside Camelot which included caves and one cave in particular.

"That was inconsiderate of me, I'm sorry. I hadn't forgotten. You know that I could never forget but it came out wrong." He walked across to Merlin and held him. "You know, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I hurt you, I feel it myself!"

Merlin leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. Arthur pulled back as trusting Merlin in such situations often ended up with his having nipped ears, lips and neck. Merlin smiled, reading Arthur's mind and slid his lips down to his.

Breathless, they broke apart and Merlin smiled, "I'd love to go on a holiday with you. Could we go to the seaside? I love donkeys!"

Arthur gave him a hug laughing. "I don't know where you get all these strange ideas but I promise you, one day we will go to the seashore, but we will probably have to take donkeys with us."

Arthur ran it by Gaius, he felt that as long as they stayed away from caves, it would be excellent for Merlin to have time away from Camelot. "Actually, it would benefit both of you as this last year hasn't been the best for either of you, has it?"

Shuddering, as he recalled Merlin's suffering at the hands of Cenred's men and before that the visiting prince and the trouble he had caused, Arthur agreed. But there had been good times, their turret hideaway for one thing and finding his mother's belongings. But the sad times had been horrendous and if Gaius felt that time away would be good for Merlin, time away it would be!

On the strength of that Arthur approached the king and after much pleading, arguing and discussions was finally granted a fortnight of freedom.

The king's parting shot was, "Take your idiot servant with you. He's bad enough when you are around, heavens knows what he would get up to if left in Camelot unsupervised."

"His name is Merlin...Father."

"Whatever! What do you intend to do?

"Probably do a fair bit of hunting and fishing. Might even camp out for a few nights. I haven't really made any definite plans.

Uther said, "Bored and home within four days, that will be the result of this venture!"

'Sire, with Merlin by my side during the day and in my bed at night, nothing would be further from the truth!' he thought but he said, "If I get bored, I'll come back but I'm sure I'll find something to keep me busy"

"You may go now, Arthur, I have things to do before the next Council Meeting. Keep an eye on that manservant.

Arthur bowed, "Sire!" and thought, 'Don't I always...?'

Gaius was very supportive when Merlin told him that Arthur had spoken to Uther and arranged for some time off. "I will be alright won't I, Gaius?"

"You love Arthur and if you feel nervous about camping, tell him. He'll understand. He stood beside you the whole time. Just don't keep your feelings to yourself, remember a problem shared is a problem halved. I have every confidence that you will have a lovely holiday."

Just as a precaution, Gaius took Arthur aside and mentioned Merlin's conversation. Arthur said, "I'll take care of him, Gaius, don't worry. I think too highly of him to force him to stay anywhere he doesn't want to. We can stay in inns and at farms or even hay barns to think of it!" Arthur blushed.

"I don't need to know all the details," Gaius said with a grin, "Just take care of that precious person who loves you very much!"

* * *

><p>When Geoffrey heard that Arthur was having a break and planning to hunt and fish, he offered him, Yewdene. Arthur knew it was a safe house for them for an extended holiday. Geoffrey reminded him of the first stay he had had there and how his mother was thrilled that like her, he had preferred merlins over all falcons and had named one after him. His mother had always wished that she and Sir Mawley had seen more of Arthur. Lady Imelda had told Geoffrey that she would have been quite happy for Arthur to move in permanently.<p>

Arthur said, "Geoffrey, I remember your mother's kindness to Rudd and me. If I could have taken Gaius with me, I would have lived there happily all my growing up years."

Geoffrey smiled, "It would be an honour for me, if you and Merlin accepted my offer to stay there for as long as you wish. If you agree, I will send a message to Steward Frank notifying him when you are coming."

"If you are sure that it won't be putting the staff to a lot of bother, I would be thrilled to accept your kind offer."

"Merlin and you will be quite safe there. I would advise taking Humphrey with you as manservant. He's trustworthy. He knows his way around there and will be able to make sure that you have time to yourselves."

Merlin eyes lit up when Arthur told him of their destination. Gaius approved especially as Humphrey would be the liaison with the staff. He told Arthur that he should also have a groom with him. He could forgo the knights but in his position he should take his own staff. Merlin thought this was great. It would be a real holiday as Humphrey would be the manservant and he would be Arthur's guest.

"Don't get too used to the high life, Merlin, as once we return you will resume your position as my manservant, beloved but none the less my manservant. What was that you said?"

"Yes, your Pratness!" Arthur was standing near the bed and Merlin hurled himself at him and they landed on the bed laughing. That little episode ended with Merlin having to help Arthur dress, for the second time that morning.

Arthur smiled and thought, 'Yes, a few weeks at Yewdene might be quite entertaining.'

* * *

><p>On the appointed day, Arthur, Merlin, the manservant Humphrey, Henry the groom and a pack horse, set off for Yewdene.<p>

There had been a flurry of packing as Arthur chose his clothes. Merlin had already set his aside and Humphrey packed travelling chests with everything that would be needed.

Geoffrey had sent instructions to the housekeeper as to which chambers were to be used. He had decided to give Arthur one wing, which comprised of two bedchambers, a sitting room or solar, a small dining room, and a private staircase from the kitchens for the staff.

Humphrey would occupy one of the larger rooms on the servants' floor. The groom would stay in the grooms' quarters.

Geoffrey felt that 'the boys', as he often thought of Arthur and Merlin, would be quite happy with these accommodations. He told Arthur that if anything was not to his liking to speak to Bessie the housekeeper and she would make any necessary changes.

They left midmorning for the half day ride. The weather cooperated and Arthur was looking forward to some nice hunting and possibly fishing, in another area of the kingdom.

"But we will be able to do other things as well, won't we, Arthur?"

"Of course, apple picking, haying and cleaning out the cow barns. What, that's not to your liking? Maybe you had better spell it out, dear!" He loved picking on Merlin especially when he got all tongue tied about what he really hoped would be happening. Considering that his repertoire due to Gaius's compendium was more than satisfactory, he still had this bashfulness outside their chambers which appealed to Arthur.

"You're being mean to me again! You know very well what I meant. We're not alone you know."

Arthur's horse pulled closer to Gidun and he managed to put his arm around his friend's shoulders and said, "That's good, as I'll have something to apologise for later this evening!"

Merlin grinned, "...and I will hold you to it!"

It would be Merlin's first visit to Yewdene and Arthur told him of his first visit with Humphrey and Rudd. He told him of Lady Imelda's merlins and the fun they had had. "She was really nice to me. I loved coming back when Geoffrey was visiting his parents. I haven't been here for some time. You'll love it. It is small enough to be like a real home and everyone who works there is friendly."

The two of them were ahead of the others so Arthur again mentioned how from the time he was little he had loved merlins.

"All merlins or just a two legged one?"

Arthur laughed, "All merlins are two legged. However, I have, I believe a special affinity for a specific one of the wingless varieties."

"That's sad, does he have to hop everywhere?"

"No, actually on occasions, I have carried him if he is being difficult!"

"Arthur, I'm never difficult. I have the most pleasant personality and am exceptionally easy to get along with."

Arthur pushed Mulgan over to Gidun and whispered to him.

Blushing Merlin continued, "But those were extenuating circumstances and infrequent in nature."

"Well, hopefully you'll be able to hop everywhere to my liking this holiday. You're getting a little heavy to carry around!"

"That's so like you Arthur, you have a habit of following a compliment with a wisecrack. I assure you that I have not put on any weight but the same thing can't be said for you, Your Chubbiness!"

Merlin let out a squawk as Arthur laughingly decked him one.

They pulled up at the next stream and the horses were watered while the four of them had lunch. Arthur and Merlin wandered off exploring while Humphrey snoozed and Henry watched the horses.

The woods were old and the ground was covered in thigh-deep bracken. They found an outcrop and sat looking over the surrounding hills. Yewdene was somewhere in the next valley.

Merlin leant against Arthur, playing with his fingers. He suddenly said, "Did Gaius ever play 'This Little Piggy Went to Market', with you when you were young?"

"No. Can't we play it now?"

"Oh, no," said Merlin seriously, "We have to wait until we're ready for bed." Knowing full well that Arthur would be unimpressed because in his mind, he was imagining something way beyond the children's rhyme usually said when their feet were bare... He smiled, this could be very entertaining.

Arthur turned around, saw him smiling and thought. 'He doesn't realise the effect he has on me. Please, Merlin, think of no one else but me, I couldn't bear sharing your love with anyone else!'

"Penny for your thoughts..."

"I was thinking that we should get back to the others, the horses should be well rested by now. But, a kiss wouldn't go amiss either."

"...and then can I get a hug?"

"Merlin, all my hugs, all my kisses, all of me belongs only to you. Come, here!"

They made their way back to the horses. Henry had them saddled and ready to leave. Humphrey said, "If we leave now, Sire, we should be at Yewdene within two hours."

They mounted and Arthur led them out of the glen and onto the track which wound down into the valley.

Merlin had his first view of Yewdene from the hill above the village. It was nestled in the hills, surrounded by forests and farmland. He immediately liked the look of it and hoped that their holiday would be as peaceful as the house seemed.

Steward Frank and Bessie the housekeeper met them in the forecourt. Henry and the stable hands led the horses away and Humphrey stayed with the luggage. Arthur and Merlin were welcomed into the house and taken to their wing, where light refreshments had been laid out for them. They sat before the fire enjoying the quiet and the lovely views across the fields. There was a discreet tap on the door and Merlin went to rise to answer it but Arthur just called out, "Enter!" giving Merlin a grin, put his hand on his arm so he sat down again.

Humphrey explained that he would like to unpack Arthur's clothes. Arthur told him to go ahead and leave Merlin's in the second chamber. Humphrey offered to also unpack for Merlin. Merlin wanted to tell him to leave them but Arthur accepted the offer as he told the manservant that he planned to take a walk around the gardens and Merlin would accompany him, and that they would later dine in their private dining room.

As the manservant bowed and left, Arthur added, "I will only need you to do the rooms and arrange for hot water and meals. Merlin will serve me, also dress and take care of my clothes. You can consider this a mini-holiday."

"Thank you, Sire." said a suitably impressed Humphrey.

Merlin was amused, a manservant unpacking for another manservant. He realised that he had never, apart from his mother, had anyone put away his clothes. Gaius would just shut the door on the mess. Arthur smiled there was a warm feeling being able to please Merlin in little things like this. Humphrey benefited with a holiday, he got Merlin to himself and they had a wing in which to do as they pleased.

The walked slowly down the stairs and out into the formal gardens. Merlin had only ever seen the like at Wilmslow.

"Arthur, why doesn't Camelot have gardens like these?"

"Well, they do but apart from the cook's herb garden outside the kitchen wing, the set up is not conducive to beautiful landscaped gardens as the lower town is too close to the castle walls and the terrain is rather steep on the other side to have sweepings lawns and flower beds. Flowers for the castle come from the gardens laid out closer to Home farm. They are considered quite spectacular and are well kept by the Head Gardeners."

"But it's not the same as being able to walk right out into a beautiful garden. I think I'm going to grow flowers in our turret courtyard."

"As long as you don't decide to grow sprouts, be my guest!"

"Arthur, what is it you have against sprouts? The plant is large and spectacular looking with all the little sprouts clinging to the central stem like little baby spiders clasping their mother."

"Well, if I didn't dislike sprouts before, I certainly would after your description."

"Gaius told me that as a toddler, you were partial to eating flies and cobwebs, so it isn't too much of a stretch to spiders is it?"

"Wait, till we get home, Gaius and I will need to have a chat about workplace confidentiality. Merlin, I must have been about three and you can't tell me that if I asked Hunith, she wouldn't be able to come up with some stories of dietary indiscretions on your part!"

"What me? Never! Now that I come to think about it, I do remember something about blackcurrants and rabbits."

"Merlin, that's enough to put me off currants for the rest of my life!"

Together they slowly walked back to the manor house...


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13 : BENEFITS AND CONSEQUENCES**

Supper was delicious, and they sat talking quietly until, Humphrey escorted a kitchen maid in to remove the settings. The young girl had red hair and green eyes and Arthur wondered if she was related to the farmer and his wife at the manor farm, with whom Rudd and he had lunched twenty odd years ago, on his first visit to Yewdene.

Merlin got up, stretched and yawned, "Arthur, are you using the bedchamber where your clothes are? If so, I'll take the other!"

Arthur almost choked, Merlin sounded serious and quite offhand about it. "But, I thought we would share?"

"Share? Why would I want to share a bed when I could have a private room all to myself?"

"Merlin, you're kidding aren't you?"

"No! I'm perfectly serious! You said that we would be having a holiday and I figured you meant in all things. Didn't you?"

Arthur took the time, to explain his concept of a holiday, which meant his refraining from tiresome princely duties and Merlin's refraining from those annoying chores which often plagued his daily existence.

Merlin decided to remain obtuse. "Which chores, such as picking up after you; making your bed; tidying your room; dropping off clothes, bed and bath linens to the laundry?" A big sigh, then he continued, "Such as, arranging for your baths; helping you choose your clothes; getting you dressed; organizing the delivery of meals to your chamber; serving your breakfast, lunch and supper; walking you to Council Chambers; sitting nearby during boring meetings incase your royalness needs a servant's help and getting you to training sites on time?"

Arthur went to speak but Merlin hushed him.

"Also, why is it Arthur that just when we're ready to leave the chamber, you have to remember something which has to be done, right then and there, because it would be fun...and usually it involves me? My day is so busy and then when I could be relaxing, you have such a one track mind, that once again, my cooperation is needed to achieve success!"

Arthur again tried to put in his two pennies' worth but Merlin was on a roll.

"When do I ever get an uninterrupted night's sleep? If it's not that the fire needs more logs; the window is open too wide; the blankets are no longer even; you think someone is in the antechamber; your feet are too cold and pray tell, who lets you place them against his calves? It's always something! Then, once again, you have a wonderful idea which involves my participation!"

Arthur interrupted with, "I think if we're telling the truth, it's you that always has these absolutely brilliant ideas."

But Merlin continued with a straight face, saying, "So you can see, Arthur, why for me, my own room and no distractions is a holiday. Isn't that what you had in mind, when you asked Uther for time off? Silly me, I thought it meant time off for me too?"

"You're kidding right?" Arthur was in shock, "You don't really mean separate beds? Come on, Merlin, don't be like that!"

Merlin agreed that that was exactly what he had meant.

The ball was now in Arthur's court. He could not for the life of him, read Merlin's features well enough to see if he was serious. Knowing Merlin well enough; well, actually more than well enough; Arthur was certain that at any minute his face would break into a grin and he'd launch himself at him.

Yet, Arthur decided to take his lead and be as direct as possible explaining to him that some enjoyable events could hardly be classed as chores but rather as benefits which existed in their life together. "Merlin, how could something rated as pleasantly mind-boggling be considered a chore?"

Merlin pretended to carefully considered Arthur words. He turned walking down the hall, clenching his fists so that the pain when his nails bore into his palms, controlled his desire to laugh. He turned and straight faced, managed to say. "I don't understand Arthur, we had mind-boggling experiences together? Are you sure that I was there?"

Arthur's jaw dropped and the look of absolute disbelief on his face was Merlin's undoing. He started to smile, then to grin, then to laugh and the next thing he was bent over with his arms across his waist, because it hurt as he was laughing so much.

"I was hoping to last until you had described all the mind-boggling events in detail but your expression was just too funny and I couldn't keep a straight face any longer."

"One day, Merlin, I'll get you, for what you just put me through."

With a Merlinesque grin, he said, "Maybe it's time, Sire, you refreshed my mind of exactly what a mind-boggling event might be?"

* * *

><p>The holiday did them both good. They got up each morning before Humphrey arrived. Merlin had taken to pulling the covers back and bouncing on the bed in the second bedroom each evening. He'd then sort of remake it but Humphrey always remade it properly the next morning. He never knew if he would have time to get there before Humphrey arrived to do the rooms. How much Humphrey knew was never discussed but they both understood that he was the soul of discretion. He had told Arthur, he would come mid-morning to do their rooms unless he preferred a later time. They were careful as Gaius had asked them not to embarrass him by putting him in a difficult position.<p>

The stairs from the kitchen were great. Early in the morning, Merlin would open the door and find two pitchers of hot water. Later, there would be a discreet tapping at the door and Merlin when he got around to opening it, would find breakfast for two on a shelf on the small landing. He would bring it in and serve Arthur and they would have breakfast.

"This beats going down to the kitchen to get your food. Maybe we could do the same thing. Someone taps on the door and leaves the meal in the hallway. Then I can open the door and get it."

"Dream on! With our luck, someone else would see the tray and decide it was on its way to the kitchen and remove it."

"Well, then, maybe we could leave the exterior door of the antechamber unlocked and breakfast could be delivered there."

"I think even that would be beyond them"

"Arthur, your household staff is brighter than that."

"Not so, Love, if you are an example...!"

Arthur paid for that remark but he was not totally upset by the fine levied which he was able to barter into something rather enjoyable.

* * *

><p>Arthur and the manor gamesman went hunting and Merlin relaxed by exploring the library. He was surprised to see some excellent history books including references to various naturopaths and even Druids. He realised that these books were probably available in the Camelot library but only upon request. Some of the books, he had read as a child, as his mother had books on healing with plants.<p>

Following the hunting, during which Arthur bagged a small buck, Merlin requested of Bessie that a hot bath be made available for him. He had to laugh as Humphrey was nowhere to be found, neither was Henry the groom as they had taken a half day off to visit a pub, well known for its luncheon spread. Arthur was pleased that Humphrey had taken advantage of his light schedule.

While the previous Lord Monmouth was alive, he had renovated a small chamber as a water closet, adjoining his wife's suite of rooms. It was the lap of luxury. He also had added one to the guest suite where Arthur and Merlin were staying. There was a hand pump which brought in cold water; a shelf with a large ewer and pitcher; candle sconces and a wonderful large copper bath. There was a chest of drawers as well as a table with chair for laying out linens and clean clothes. A screened alcove provided privacy for personal needs. The room had a large fireplace with stacks of wood to one side. Hot water would be brought upon demand.

When Arthur had first seen it, as they had been exploring their wing, he had decided that that was what they needed at Camelot. "This is what we need at home. Maybe we could move to more spacious chambers and have room for the renovation."

Merlin shrugged, one more room for him to keep tidy, he envisioned the mess Arthur would make in no time. "I don't need more rooms to take care of. Couldn't we just share the king's."

"Oh, lovely! Sorry to disturb you, Your Majesty, I know that it's four hours since midnight but I just need to nip to the little boys' room!" Arthur described what would probably happen. The corridor lit with torches, the guards on duty and poor little Merlin standing outside the royal chambers with his legs crossed and Uther yelling at him, 'Go away!'

There was a knock at the kitchen stairs door and servants entered with steaming buckets of water and hot towels and made their way to fill the bath in the water closet. Bessie had already told him to just notify a staff member when it was convenient for the bath to be emptied.

By the time Arthur was ready to undress, Merlin had the water at just the right temperature, scented subtly with lavender and marigold, wash clothes and soap handy. Arthur soaked himself dozing contentedly, Merlin had brushed, sponged and hung up his hunting tunic and heavy cloak. He had put a thick silk, long sleeved under tunic and smalls on the chair and sat listening to Arthur's story of the hunting trip.

"It's funny isn't it, how some men get such pleasure out of chasing and killing things?"

"We don't do it for pleasure, we do it for the need to get fresh meat."

"Well," said Merlin with a chuckle, "You might think that but from where I'm sitting, it seems that there is a certain satisfaction derived from bushwhacking and hiding from rabbits and hares."

Next thing Merlin knew, he had been hit in the head with a soaking wet, soapy washcloth.

"See, you couldn't even notice that coming, no wonder the finer art of hunting is lost on you!"

Arthur should have known that Merlin would exact revenge. The next thing, he saw was bubbles as his body had been totally submerged when Merlin had pushed down on his shoulders and he had slid further into the bath. He came up spluttering and Merlin smiled and said sweetly, "Do you need mouth to mouth resuscitation, your Dunked-ness?"

Twisting suddenly, Arthur got hold of Merlin's waist and with a show of brute force, he pulled him totally clothed into the bath. Before Merlin could think, he'd also been dunked, he came up, hair plastered to his head, droplets of water trailing down his face from his hair and his eyelashes. He shook his head like a dog, spraying Arthur who suddenly realised that this opportunity didn't often present itself so he pulled Merlin's head down, towards his, slipping both of them under the water and kissed him...

They surfaced to breath.

"You know, Merlin, you once said that mouth to mouth resuscitation might be of use one day and I totally agree."

The water was beginning to get cool by the time Merlin had climbed out of the bath. He stood there making huge puddles on the floor. He looked around and realised that they had water everywhere. His house slippers were soaking and squished when he walked.

Arthur wrapped a towel around himself and said, "Get out of your wet clothes, and we'll ask for some more hot water as you might as well have a proper bath. Merlin sat down and started to take of his soaking clothes, this was easier said than done so finally Arthur had to act as his dresser which inevitably caused even more of a delay.

The fire was burning so the room was cosy and Merlin sat with his legs stretched out enjoying the warmth.

The hot water arrived and Arthur requested that supper be served an hour later than usual. Merlin added the hot water to Arthur's bath water and had a good soak but kept a close eye on Arthur as he realised that he didn't really trust him when he was in this mood. Arthur handed him a towel and he wrapped it around himself.

"Shame we couldn't just eat in our dressing gowns but I guess we had better put on more clothes."

"Why? I'll only open the door after the food has been left on the shelf. Supper in front of the fire in dressing gowns sounds perfect!"

Merlin hopped down the corridor to find something to wear on his feet. Arthur offered to come and choose something for him but Merlin hastily declined as he realised that by the time they got around to supper, it would be cold and they wouldn't eat till midnight!

Later that evening, Arthur turned and said, "Merlin, I must say you smell ravishing tonight. Have you been rolling in fields of lavender and mari...?"

Arthur got no further as Merlin pushed him back on the pillow and sniffing his hair said, "Guess you were in the same fields, Sire!"

* * *

><p>They tried to be the least possible trouble for the manor house staff. One day, Humphrey arranged for a picnic lunch for the two of them and they left to explore the surrounding countryside. The steward had giving them a general idea of what they should visit.<p>

Certainly, the view from the local Threnody Tor was exhilarating, not because of its height in as much as its location and the ease of access. They had a view over three valleys with scattered villages, maise and oat fields, miniature livestock and orchards. Yewdene looked like a jewel with its well laid out gardens, its water features and the well groomed fields around it.

They lunched on the tor and then descended following a rushing stream to a series of boulders and cliffs. There were looking for Curtain Falls. Finally, they saw the path leading up the gorge and they could hear the falling water. The steward had told them that the path continued behind the falls and finally brought them back to a gorge just east of the manor paddocks. It was a circuit worth taking.

However, he had omitted to tell Arthur that two thirds of the journey would take place through interconnected caves.

Merlin and he found the waterfall. It really was a curtain of water and they rode single file behind it, letting their hands be pushed down by the force of it. The sun shining through it made streaked patterns; the noise of the water drowned out all sounds; the world suddenly felt alien although not unfriendly.

About a half hour further along the path, the trees gave way to boulders and rocks and they entered a gorge. The sun beat down on them and it was very warm protected from the wind. The rock mass began to tower over their heads and soon Arthur realised they were on a track through a large cave, where it was refreshingly cooler.

Gidun seemed to have slowed down and Mulgan was right on his tail. Arthur said, "Isn't the path ahead clear?"

Suddenly they saw an opening ahead and they were back in a gorge with the sun beating down. Then once again they were in a passageway through a cave. Gidun again began hesitating.

"What's wrong with him, is the bright sun then darkness making it hard for him to focus? Do you want me to lead?"

Merlin nodded his head and Arthur drew up beside him planning to overtake and allow Mulgan to lead the way. He glanced at Merlin. He was shuddering with tears running down his face. Arthur said, "Merlin?"

"I can't Arthur, it's too soon. I can't stand the dim light and the rock around and above me. I can't do it...and..." He started sobbing.

Arthur pulled Gidun to a stop. He dismounted and squeezed between the two horses to reach Merlin and help his down. Arthur was frightened, this was not a nightmare it was reality and they were so far along that retracing their steps made no sense. They would have to soldier on and hope that for the remainder of the trip, there were more gorges than caves.

Merlin dismounted and Arthur wrapped his arms around him. He held him while he tried to catch his breath and slow his racing heart. Merlin's hands were gripping him, pinching but Arthur would no more have thought to draw this to his attention, than he would have said, 'Merlin let go, you're hurting me!'

"Arthur, it's...as if...they are still around. I know Gawaine...they are dead...yet there is something telling me that they came back. I can't go through that again," he sobbed, "It'll kill me this time."

There was nothing to say. Everything Arthur could think of saying sounded as if he was belittling what Merlin had experienced. Instead he decided to let his heart lead the way and he heard himself saying. "Merlin, do you trust me?"

Merlin nodded his head without making eye contact. How could he be such a baby that a cave would have such an affect on him? How could he expect Arthur to still love him when he was surrounding himself everyday with brave people? He felt sick. Why would a prince want to love a coward, who was standing in a cave petrified to death, unable to put one foot in front of the other or even tell his horse to walk on.

Arthur held him close saying, "We're one, what difference does it make who leads? You are me just as I am you. Take my hand and I'll lead you into the next gorge and then the next and then hopefully the last. Between gorges, I'll be your eyes so you can close yours and think only of me."

He hooked the horses' reins out of the way and they walked ahead towards the next gorge, Arthur talking quietly to Merlin who had his eyes shut tight but who was shuddering less as he had his arm around Arthur's waist and his head tucked against his neck. As the sun hit their faces, Merlin opened his eyes but did not relinquish hold of his waist nor did Arthur, his arm along Merlin's shoulders. They stopped Merlin looked at him and with a slight grin whispered, "Sorry for being such a girl!"

Arthur kissed his tear streaked face and said, "Merlin, you are braver than many of my knights and you proved it back there. Are you ready to try another section of dim light?"

Nodding and tightening his hold on Arthur, the two friends advanced into the gloom of the next cave. The horses happily tagged along, oblivious to the stress experienced by one of their riders.

The next gorge was followed by nothing more than a long tunnel and then they came out on a hillside and could see Manor Farm below.

Arthur insisted on taking a break and took out some apples and cheese and sat against a rock beside Merlin, close enough to be making contact but not stifling his need for privacy. They didn't need to talk. They sat there trusting each other, each in his own world.

Arthur slipped his arm around Merlin's shoulders again linking his arms around him. Merlin tucked himself into the safety of arms which would care for him forever regardless of his lack of courage or his weaknesses. Within Arthur's arms, he felt safe and within these arms he was going to regain the courage which had been so brutally ripped from him.

Finally, Merlin lifted his head saying, "...It's not really over yet, is it? I thought I was better... Honestly...I thought it was all safely buried in my past..."

They fed the horses the apples and nibbling on the cheese, mounted to make there way leisurely down to the farm. It had been a strange day but they had surmounted problems and proved satisfactorily to themselves that they certainly belonged together.

Next thing, they were clattering into the stable yard and Henry was taking the horses. "Good ride, Sire?"

"Yes, thank you, Henry. The scenery around here is spectacular."

Merlin and he made their way back to their suite. They had hours before supper was served and Merlin suggested a brilliant way in which to pass that time.

Arthur was unsure that following today's episode, that this would be the best way to spent a relaxing afternoon but Merlin with a twinkle in his eye, insisted that it was, just what the Court Physician would have ordered.!


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14: AN UNEXPECTED GUEST**

They woke up early, before dawn, to heavy rain. The clouds seemed to be right outside their windows, neither wanted to leave the warmth of the bed. Merlin eventually, forced himself to place another couple of logs on the fire and while Arthur wasn't watching, with a little magical help got a roaring fire going in no time. He thought, 'There are some occasions when it is not only permitted but considered mandatory! I'm cold therefore, '_Existo calor'_!' Then he chuckled as besides heat that also meant passion or love and they needed no magic in that department!

He returned to bed to snuggle into Arthur who complained of his cold feet and hands. "As long as my heart is warm, extremities don't count! And he promptly slipped his hands onto Arthur's stomach. Arthur retaliated by capturing the offending hands and pinning them over Merlin's head on the pillow. He then made sure that Merlin knew who was boss that morning.

Following the removal of the breakfast trays, they were still sitting in front of the fire in their dressing gowns. There was a discreet knock. Merlin walked over to the window, Arthur said, "Entre."

Humphrey came into the bedchamber. Seeing that it was not vacant he suggested, "If you would prefer, Sire, I could return at a more convenient time?"

"No, come in, you can tidy around us as the weather is not cooperating and I haven't yet decided what I want to do today." He turned to Merlin saying, "Get out of Humphrey's way and sit over here. Merlin ever obedient; well, maybe sometimes obedient, left the window to resume sitting in the chair he had vacated prior to Humphrey's arrival.

The two of them sat there, discussing yesterday's outing avoiding the cave events and Arthur turned to Humphrey saying, "You went to a pub specializing in good lunches, would you recommend it?"

"Yes, Sire, Henry and I had an excellent meal prepared by the wife and daughter of the landlord."

"Maybe if the weather clears, we might go there." As Humphrey was behind him, Merlin turned to Arthur, mouthed 'No!' and winked, he was just as happy to spend the whole day in their suite. Arthur grinned.

As Humphrey left them to do the other bedchamber, reality hit Merlin like a ton of bricks. He had not gone to his room since Humphrey had made the bed yesterday morning. It was still as Humphrey had left it. Arthur looked at him with raised eyebrows then covered his mouth to stifle a laugh, as Merlin mimed his lack of forethought.

He whispered, "You've been caught red-handed, now, you'll to face the outcome and tell the truth as Nanny-What's-Her-Name would have insisted."

"Maybe he won't notice."

"Merlin, if _I_ can tell the difference between a bed you have half heartedly made and one that Humphrey has professionally made, I assure you he will notice." He smirked, "Wouldn't like to be in your shoes right now!"

Merlin saw Humphrey out of the suite. As he turned into the corridor, he said with a little smile, "I do believe, Merlin, your bed making skills have improved!"

There was only one thing that Merlin could do and that was to blush.

* * *

><p>It did clear up after lunch but neither of them felt inclined to ride out for a drink. Arthur decided that they would visit the area where Sir Mawley had had his private zoo. The beaver pond and the deer paddocks were there but empty and there was no fox to follow them around. Arthur walked over to the mews to view the falcons. They would soon be leaving as Lady Imelda had bequeathed all her merlins to Arthur.<p>

He spoke to the falconer who told him that he might be retiring, once all the birds were safely settled at Camelot. Arthur asked, "If tomorrow is a nice day, would it be possible to fly the merlins one last time at Yewdene in honour of Lady Imelda?"

The falconer was touched and as he would say to his wife that night, "Her ladyship was right about that young man, he's one in a million."

The steward was waiting for them when they walked back to the house. A message had arrived from Camelot. Merlin's first thought was that something was wrong with Gaius or the king but the letter was from Geoffrey telling him that his nephew who would inherit Yewdene, would be coming later in the week to spend a few days. He was looking forward to meeting the Crown Prince.

Frank the steward explained that the Lord of Hartwich always stayed in the old master's chambers and most of his servants were housed in the servant's quarters so Arthur would not be inconveniencing anyone. He mentioned that his lordship was in his fortieth year and his home and family were in France. Arthur felt that Frank, seemed noncommittal regarding the future heir's proposed return.

Later at the end of their first week at Yewdene, the nephew's party arrived at the manor. There were servants, grooms and Jules-Alain, Lord of Hartwich.

Merlin carefully assisted Arthur in dressing suitably as he was dining with Jules-Alain in the formal dining room.

The first thing, he corrected was his name, although his French mother called him Jules-Alain, his father and all the English family knew him as Julian. He was married and his lady wife was Claudine and he had two boys of eighteen and fifteen, Marc-Alain and Jean-Claude. He confided in Arthur that they were really more French than English but he was free to travel whenever he wanted, so if his family were happy in France that suited him.

Arthur had a feeling there was more to the last remark than met the eye but nodded in agreement. Turns out that he knew a little about Arthur from his Uncle Geoffrey; years ago he had visited Camelot and could only say kind things about his welcome and treatment as a guest.

Arthur said that he hoped that he might welcome him to Camelot again in the near future.

He asked if Arthur was married and Arthur replied in the negative. "Leaving it a bit late to get an heir aren't you?"

"No, there are many young ladies flitting around who would be only too happy to call Camelot home but I am in no hurry to take that step at the moment. 'Or, in the future!' thought Arthur, 'I'll hold out until the king forces me to declare to some woman and then it will only be to produce an heir.'

Julian was an avid huntsman and plans were made for a day devoted to hunting, two days hence. He was obviously happy with the thought of being the master at Yewdene and mentioned that he would quite happily change his name to Lord of Monmouth if that were at all possible.

Arthur mentioned that if the weather cooperated in the morning, he was going to fly some of the falcons which Julian's grandmother had entrusted to him. No, Julian wasn't into falconry but he would be pleased to watch.

They sat discussing the politics of the kingdoms in France and their parallels over here. Finally, Julian asked to be excused as his travelling was catching up on him and he needed to turn in. He asked if the servants assigned to Arthur were satisfactory. Arthur said that he had brought his own servant and then remembered Merlin and added also a young man who helped him. He had the hardest time not smiling. Here he was, describing Merlin as a helper when on many occasions he was more of a hindrance. Arthur had spent enough time being gracious so he rose with Julian and they left the room parting at the top of the main staircase as each one walked on, into his own wing.

"So what is Juellen like?" Was the first thing out of Merlin's mouth when he opened their chamber door.

"Well, for one thing, his name is not Juellen but Jool'a'lan but he assured me that he is called Julian while he's in England."

"Lucky for him as otherwise people would always be massacring his name and he wouldn't even know if they were talking to him."

Arthur just smiled and shook his head, "What did you do about supper?" Arthur started getting out of his fancy clothes and was soon with Merlin's help back in his dressing gown and house shoes.

Merlin checked Arthur's jacket for stains, found none so hung it in the wardrobe. He threw the silk under tunic into the soiled linen basket and turned saying, "Humphrey and I ate here, as it made sense particularly as we were both alone and unwanted!"

"Don't get all coy with me, Problem Child, as long as I have breath in my body, you'll never been unwanted, or alone, come to think of it."

"I haven't felt wanted since this morning, I've almost forgotten what it's like."

"Merlin...! I should be the one making the advances as I am your Crown Prince!"

Merlin burst out laughing. "No, you're not. You're just a common Bunny-Killer whom someone found in the woods and not knowing what to do with you, gave you to me, to love, honour and sometimes consider obeying, for ever and ever."

Arthur smiled. He wondered who had sent this young man to him. Was it Igraine or a being more powerful? Regardless as to who it was, he thought, 'I will also love, honour and...maybe but not often, consider obeying!'

"Arthur, wake up you're not listening. Shall I put some more logs on the fire or is the room warm enough? I'm ready to turn in."

"I think I'll stay up for a couple of more hours and solve some of the kingdom's problems."

"Arthur Pendragon, get over here immediately, I'm not going to sleep by myself!"

He laughed, got up and padded across the room thinking, 'Oh, well! Maybe, never obeying could be counter productive..."

* * *

><p>True to his word, Julian joined Arthur when he met up with the falconer. He was accompanied by a young man who was most eager to please, almost to the point of fawning.<p>

Julian was appreciative of the merlins abilities and confessed that he liked them better than the larger faucons gerfaut or the aigles pomarin. Arthur knew from books which Geoffrey had with illustrations that the former was a gyrfalcon and the latter a lesser spotted eagle. Although he was now comfortable flying all the big falcons including the king's gyrfalcon and could marvel at its acrobatics, a merlin was still his favourite falcon.

Merlin had accompanied him to the mews and stood holding his jacket as the day had warmed up. Watching Merlin, Arthur would never have recognized him as the demanding lover, as he was 'siring' Arthur left, right and centre, never even once making eye contact or glancing at him in a familiar way.

* * *

><p>Julian was off to visit neighbours, so Merlin and Arthur could once again be themselves. Not being sure of the various members of the visiting retinue, they decided to ride out in the opposite direction and maybe find that pub, where lunch was so highly spoken of. They soon saw it and were impressed by the number of clients sitting outside; it obviously was a popular place.<p>

Merlin tied their horses to a fence as Arthur selected a table under the trees close to a rushing stream. He went into the pub returning with two tankards of ale. A comely barmaid followed with what turned out to be a delicious lunch. It was reminiscent of their trip to Wilmslow when they could be themselves in the company of strangers. Julian's arrival had cramped their usual offhandedness but he was only staying for two more days and then they would have another couple of days to themselves before having to return home.

Merlin could see that Arthur was much more relaxed even after one week away from Camelot and he realised that apart from his breakdown in the caves, he was also enjoying himself. "It's been good to get away, hasn't it? You are much more laid back."

"Merlin, I will take that comment at face value and not consider the possible hidden innuendoes."

"It was meant to be taken strictly at face value. You are sleeping better and wake up less grumpy. You haven't drummed your fingers on the table in stress for days. You haven't thrown anything at me since the bath incident and are much more patient of my insignificant mistakes."

"I can assure you that seldom are your mistakes insignificant but I agree, I see the funny side of them more easily. Did Humphrey ever comment on your bed making again?"

Merlin, blushed, "Well, actually I gave up the charade of making the bed look slept in and have only really used it as a dumping ground for my clothes."

"I don't know how Gaius put up with your living in that little room. How he ever found you in there with all that mess, I really don't know?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that his part of the chambers were overly tidy!" Arthur looked up as Merlin continued, "Yes, I know, it isn't messy, he calls it organized chaos."

"You're good for me! You make me stop and look at the bits and pieces of this world which I would normally miss."

"Well, don't miss this but there is a caterpillar making its way around the rim of your tankard. I don't want you drinking and then spitting it, half chewed across the table at me

"You're lying Merlin!"

"I'm not. Go ahead, O Mighty One, and eat a _geomentridae_, then when your body turns golden and you grown lovelly gold wings with silver and grey lines on them, see if I care. But, you'll be sleeping alone, I can assure you."

Arthur glanced down and true to his word, there was a little inchworm making its way along the rim. Arthur stopped fascinated by it as it drew itself into a loop and then straightened out as if measuring the circumference of the tankard.

But, it did put him off his ale so Merlin deposited the little worm carefully on a nearby shrub and dumped the ale under the table. "Another pint, Arthur?"

"Yes, go ahead, get one for each of us."

Merlin walked away, pulling the coins out of the leather purse which hung from his belt. Arthur smiled, he always made sure that Merlin had coins on him so he could pay for sundries. He could remember the first day, he'd given him the purse with silver and copper coins in it.

Merlin's eyes opened wide and he looked at it but immediately gave it back to him, saying, "Arthur, you should carry the money."

And he had replied, "Merlin we both need to have money, what would happen if we got separated?"

Merlin had grinned at him, saying, "You're no going to get rid of me that easily..."

The man in question returned with two tankards and a trencher of bread and cheese with some sweet quince relish. They continued eating in silence and picked up on a conversation from a nearby table. The speakers were landowners by the sound of it.

"So, you heard that the Frenchie is back in the area?"

"I wish Sir Geoffrey was privy to some of the stories we've been hearing about that one. Pity the poor staff at Yewdene, they'll be out on their rears, fending for themselves as soon as he inherits."

"I agree. He's not going to settle permanently around here and will probably just use it as a pied-a-terre when he wants to entertain his degenerate friends. Mark my words, within twenty years that manor will be sold to pay off a gambling debt or to settle a feud with the family of some young man. Disgraceful, if you ask me!"

"If I were you, I'd keep on eye on your Nathaniel, he's handsome and charming."

"Don't let my Ruthie hear you say that she's overprotective of the kids as it is!"

Listen to me, Giles, better to be safe than sorry..."

Arthur raised his eyes and met Merlin's. Neither said a word. Merlin walked over to the fence and got the horses. They led them away from the inn, mounted and rode away disappointed in what they had overheard.

"That bastard..."

"Arthur, you don't know if that is the true story."

"Well, I intend to find out, as I don't intend to have the Monmouth family's name besmirched. I would rather see Yewdene sold to a respectable family than kept in Geoffrey's family to go to rack and ruin. Hell, Merlin! I can afford to buy it, if no one else wants it!"

"Hold on Arthur, before you become the Lord of the Manor, let's watch his lordship and see if we can pick up on something ourselves. There was certainly something going on during your falconry exercises this morning with that chap who was with Julian. It made me feel uncomfortable, the way the man was grovelling around his lordship.

"Last night at supper, he said that he was free, to travel as he wanted. He'd shruggged his shoulders and said if his family preferred to stay in France, it suited him. I picked up on it immediately but figured it really had nothing to do with me. Anyway, I'm hunting with him tomorrow, so maybe he'll be more forthcoming."

"If the local landowners feel this way then the staff at Yewdene must have had an inkling that everything isn't above the board."

Arthur smiled, "Merlin don't get too involved, he might notice how 'handsome and charming' you are and entice you to leave me and set up house with him!"

"You'd be so lucky! I'm here for the duration. But Arthur, I really don't want to dawdle all the way back. Can't we move on and get these horses working for their upkeep?"

* * *

><p>Once again at supper Arthur joined Julian and this time hovering at his elbow was the man in question, from this morning's hawking. Arthur watched him without making direct eye contact and true to Merlin's appraisals there was something unnatural about his manner. He reminded him of a worried dog needing to be nearby, to always please his master.<p>

Julian was talking about his plans for Yewdene and his lack of interest in what was happening across the sea in Normandy. He smiled up at the young man and received a smile in return. Arthur figured the man must have been in his early twenties and Julian was almost twice his age. There was a minimum of physical contact but he was certainly in Julian's personal space.

An older manservant who was on Julian's staff, served his lordship but completely ignored this other person. He just went about making sure that his master had everything he needed to enjoy the meal.

Julian at one point even passed the young man a tidbit so he could sample a piece of cheese. He made no effort to introduce him to Arthur. It was strangely unnerving, not unlike a spectre, an unacknowledged being who takes everything in but never comments.

Arthur excused himself as soon as etiquette would allow, stating that as they were hunting and leaving shortly after dawn, he wished to retire early. Julian was not paying much attention to him as he was silently fixated on the man who was still standing at his elbow.

Arthur returned to his room more confused than ever.

Merlin and he spent the rest of the evening in front of the fire, trying to relax but with perplexing questions chasing around their minds.

Had, what the landowners said, been actual facts or hearsay?

Why had Geoffrey never hinted at anything negative about his nephew and the set-up in France?

Should Merlin and he just forget what they had heard and let the whole thing drop?

Julian seemed happy enough with his whatever he was; the man certainly was not a minor and old enough to make up his own mind.

However, Merlin's mind was subconsciously picking up telltale images and there was something disturbing about the whole situation.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15 :** **LOVE AND SERVITUDE**

Still sitting in front of the fire, Merlin's thoughts wandered to Arthur's and his relationship.

"If I had only been sixteen when I came to Camelot, how long would you have waited before telling me you thought I was rather interesting?"

"Let's get things straight. I never really had a chance. It seemed you made the first move, it felt as if you were chasing me. Everywhere I looked you were there, asking for nothing but being so demanding at the same time. It drove me crazy. I could only see you, whether we were on the training ground, in the dining hall or in my bedroom. You occupied my whole mind and strangely I liked it! You never let on, my heart was begging for you to look me in the eyes and say something. Without words, you were still persistent. Merlin, I was completely under your spell. Then after that first night with Gawaine in the cave during the rainstorm, I realised that my heart was stolen and I knew that you and only you were going to fill the empty space in my life. As to sixteen, I might have still fallen for you but nothing would have happened until you had grown up."

"You know, at one point during our first cave night, I thought that if you would not respond, I might have had to turn my back on you to cuddle with Gawaine."

"Merlin, you are a liar if there ever was one! You knew that you had won once you were allowed to sleep between us. I didn't know, I had completely lost my heart until I finally woke up with you cuddled into me, with one arm across me and your hand grasping mine which you had pulled under your chin."

Merlin stretched over and kissed the nearest part of Arthur which happened to be his elbow. "Did you know that your elbows drive me out of my mind?"

Arthur grabbed his hand and kissed ever finger and his palm, then in true Arthur style latched onto his thumb until Merlin was beginning to squirm and had reached over, so he could be kissed, putting his arm over him, possessively.

"Arthur, do you ever think that I will be able to overcome my fear of caves? They are such spectacular and private places but even talking about them makes me nervous. I hate letting anything get the better of me and one day, I would like nothing better than to walk into Cave Two and marvel at the narrow entrance, the size of the chamber, the opening in the roof and the pond. Having only wonderful memories flood my mind and turn to see you standing behind me with your arms open to give me a hug for finally being brave enough..."

Arthur's heart ached, he swallowed hoping that Merlin couldn't see that his eyes were filled with tears. There was nothing he could say to alleviate the pain and suffering.

"I'll never forget the first night when you turned to me and said my name, then I asked you if you were sure and you softly whispered 'Merlin, it feels as if I've been _sure_, forever.' Arthur, it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. Well, except for Gaius saying, 'I was his 'chosen son' and Mam saying she was happy for me when I told her about you and..."

Arthur laughed, "O.K., I get it, it was one of those times, which apart from what Gaius and Hunith had to say, was memorable. Come here." He reached out his hand and pulled Merlin out of his chair towards the bed. He stopped halfway and kissed him saying, "Merlin, I still am sure. I feel, that I will be more sure everyday of my life that we were meant to be together whether in a cave or in a castle."

He pulled him down on the bed and smiled. Merlin put his arms around him, Arthur's mind flashed to their first night in Cave Two, it seemed ages ago; as then, he now hoped the arms were conveying possession.

So, repeating what he had said, the first time he had asked Merlin for his love, he whispered again very softly, "Merlin..."

Merlin whispered back, "Are you sure, Arthur?"

And Arthur looking at the love of his life, said once more, "Merlin, it feels as if I've been _sure_, forever..."

* * *

><p><em>They were in a cave, Merlin was better. <em>

_Arthur felt the knife in the back of his neck, Merlin asking him not to stop. He was rolled over and slapped across the face by the man whose name he didn't know. _

"_Bonjour handsome, will you be as willing to 'charm me' as you do your Lord and Liege?" A voice, he recognized._

_Merlin answering, "Finally, you came! I've waiting so long, alone and unwanted."_

_Arthur begged, "Merlin?"_

"_I'm no longer sure Arthur..."_

"_But I've been forever sure. Always and always, till death do us part..."_

"_I can't stay Arthur, je m'en vais en Normandie..."_

"_You must obey your Prince! Please...!"_

"_I can't, you never really loved me, Gawaine was the only one who understood that. I have a wonderful opportunity with Gawaine or Julian. They both want me Arthur. They both love me. They both need me." _

"_Merlin, I need you, I love you! I'll die for you...Don't leave me here, I'm frightened in a cave..."_

"_Can't stay, we have to go!"_

"_Merlin, I love you!... Merlin!"_

_Warm hands caressed his face and soothing words calmed him, arms held him close. "Mother?"_

"Arthur, wake up! You're having a nightmare. It's me, I'm here with you. You're safe, I won't leave you, I won't let anyone take me away from you. Believe me, you are the only man I ever want in my life."

Arthur opened his eyes, Merlin had come back... "I thought you had left me alone in the cave."

"Arthur, would I ever willingly leave you alone? No, it would never enter my head. I'd fight to stay with you."

"You'd never go, would you?"

Merlin curled himself around Arthur holding him as Arthur had often held him following a bad dream and he whispered to him, "If ever I should leave you, it will be because you have gone before me and are waiting for me; holding out your hand and all I will have to do is take that leap of faith to join you."

Merlin kissed him, momentarily chasing away all the remnants of the dream.

Then it came floating again into his consciousness. "It seemed so real. You were going to Normandie and you loved the other person and no longer thought you loved me. It was awful. It didn't make any sense, I'm glad you woke me up. The thought of your going off with someone else was killing me. Now, I feel foolish but it seemed so real."

"It wasn't," Merlin said, "But this will be..."

* * *

><p>It was another clear morning and Arthur and Merlin breakfasted early so Arthur would be ready for Julian. They had decided to take the manor huntsman, two of Julian's men and three manor servants as beaters.<p>

Merlin was happy to have a day to himself. This was a lovely non-hunting treat for him. He had lunch with Humphrey in the solar and wandered out with a couple of books to sit in the water gardens and read. A maid servant came by with a bowl of scraps and fed the ducks and the fish. The huge fish astounded him, even he would have been able to tickle one as they kept cruising by waiting for the bread crumbs.

This was the life!

Suddenly, he was conscious of someone coming towards him. It was the young man who usually shadowed Julian. He looked up and returned his smile. The man gestured at the bench and Merlin nodded, moving the books which he had intended to read, over and the man sat down.

"Je m'appelle Gaëtan. Vous êtes, Merlin! I haven't seen you around much. Do you mostly stay in your room?"

Merlin was a little surprised that the man had sought him out. He had presumed that he would have been off hunting with Julian. He smiled and said, "The Prince has two servants with him and usually Humphrey is his first choice."

"But, I have never seen you serving him even at supper."

"No, Prince Arthur is satisfied with the manor staff." Merlin felt that he was being interrogated and was feeling uncomfortable.

"I always travel with Julian, do you usually accompany the Prince?"

"If he tells me to, yes."

"Oh, I always insist that I travel with my master wherever he goes. After all, what would be the fun of staying at home! Life is always better on the road." With a knowing look, he nodded at Merlin.

'You're fishing!' thought Merlin. "How long have you been with Lord Hartwich?"

"It must be eight years this winter."

"You don't look old enough to have been a manservant for eight years."

Gaëtan looked at him shyly and said with a grin, "I started young."

Merlin felt a shiver go up his spine. "You must have as you don't look more than twenty."

"Actually, I'm twenty-two. How long have you worked for the Prince?"

"About seven years,"

"Were you raised in Camelot?"

"No, I came to Camelot as an assistant to a family friend."

"And, do you still assist him?"

Merlin decided to pull back from the truth and said, "Yes."

"But the Prince, can have you whenever he wants?"

'Rather strangely phrased sentence,' thought Merlin but put it down to the language difference and said, "If I'm not busy doing something else."

"Oh, I wouldn't like that. When Julian wants me, I am always there."

'Two can play this game.' thought Merlin. "And, do you have any other duties?"

"Oh, I don't work! I am just there for Julian. Do you work for the prince or is it just..."

Merlin was worried that he was blushing. "No, I work hard from dawn until dusk when I am home; rooms to be seen to, clothes to be laundered and all that."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"If you feel you must."

"Well, Julian thinks that you and I have the same jobs." He laughed, "He thought you were being kept out of sight, in case he decided that he'd like to spend some time with you. Silly man, I told him you were probably only a servant!"

"I think he might have made a mistake, don't you?" Merlin said but thought, 'And I intend to act more servile for the rest of your master's stay.'

Suddenly, there was a screaming of "Gaëtan!" and Julian red in the face stomped across the lawns from the stables.

"I told you to wait in my room. Who gave you permission to leave the house?"

Gaëtan leapt to his feet and said to Merlin with a catch in his voice, "Uh Oh! Pain on the horizon..."

Merlin cringed as Julian gave the man a crack across the side of his face and dragged him by the hair back to the house, yelling at him and punching him on the way.

Merlin sat still, he was upset for many reasons. He saw Arthur coming across the lawns. When he finally reached Merlin he said, "What was all that yelling about?" By then Gaëtan had been dragged inside the house and everything had settled down. "What's wrong, you look upset?"

"Arthur, go along with me until we get back to the chambers." Merlin stood, bowed in Arthur's direction, "I have just heard and witnessed something you'll never believe. Walk ahead of me and I'll follow in my best servile manner."

"Merlin what are you up to?"

"Trust me, wait until we're upstairs."

The Crown Prince walked assertively across the lawns back to the house, with his manservant shuffling behind him. Merlin opened the door and said, "Sire," stood back, allowed Arthur through. Then followed him with his head down, up the main staircase.

Julian appeared in his corridor and said, "See you at supper, Arthur." Turned, glared at Merlin and stomped back to his room.

Merlin didn't breathe until he got back into the room. Arthur pulled him around and said, "I don't like playacting, what was that about?"

They sat at the table and Merlin repeated word for word what Gaëtan had said. Arthur eyes grew wide. He chuckled at the 'but the Prince can have you whenever he wants' sentence. "Don't I wish!"

"This is serious Arthur, he was fourteen when I presume this started and Julian must have been thirty-two. He says the reason you are keeping me out of sight, is in case Julian would like to spend some time with me. Talk about feeling like chattel! Julian was furious when he saw him with me and he smacked him across the face and then dragged him back to the house, by the hair, punching him, all the way. Doubt, that you will see him at supper tonight. I felt so sorry for him. He was pathetic, Arthur, he asked me, 'Do you work for the prince or is it just...' He said, 'I don't work! I am just there for Julian.' We have to be very careful. Julian's picked up on something. Until he leaves, I intend to be visible and sickeningly servile." Then smiling, he added, "And you'll owe me big time when we get home!"

Arthur could tell that Merlin had been upset by the incident and he said, "Come here. We can't solve all the world's problems and this Prince feels honoured and loved knowing that 'he can have you whenever he wants'."

Arthur put his arms around him and kissed him and Merlin forgot for a few minutes the look of terror on Gaëtan's face as he was dragged across the lawn.

* * *

><p>A bruised and frightened Gaëtan stood beside Julian at supper that night. To Arthur, it seemed that Julian was exhibiting his spoils of a battle, Arthur's heart went out to the servant. He'd been with this bully since he was fourteen and he was now twenty-two and this was his understanding of love!<p>

Julian wanted to rehash the days hunting, Arthur wasn't in the mood but tried to stir up interest at least to keep the conversation on track. Arthur was glad when the meal was finally over. He told Julian, that tomorrow, he was going fishing with his two servants, leaving early. He wished him a safe journey home but did not reiterate his invitation to come to Camelot. He couldn't.

As they left the room, Gaëtan lifted his eyes and gave Arthur a sad, pleading smile, it tore at his heart. What if it had been Merlin, being treated like that?

They parted at the top of the staircase and Arthur felt like a coward going to his chambers knowing that the young man was probably in for more abuse.

Merlin was waiting for him and Arthur sat at the table, his head in his hands. Merlin put a hand on his shoulder. "He was at the table beside Julian. He's in awful shape. I was upset. It was as if Julian was parading him in front of the servants and me to make a point. It made me feel sick."

Neither could forget about him. It got chilly in the room and Merlin put another log on the fire and encouraged Arthur to get into bed. Merlin wrapped himself around him and they fell asleep.

* * *

><p>They were up early next morning and went down into the courtyard around dawn. Humphrey followed them across the gravel and spoke once they were out of the hearing of any of the staff. "Julian's young manservant was found badly beaten in the kitchen yard early this morning. He'd been lying out there all night. He's in very bad condition. Frank has hidden him in the cellars but is worried, he'll be found when Julian has the manor searched."<p>

Arthur turned to Merlin. "Is it worth trying...?" Merlin nodded.

Turning back to Humphrey he said, "You and Frank will get him up to the mews. Hide him carefully and do for him what you can. If he is conscious tell him to wait until Merlin returns for him. Get the falconer to lock the place up and go home for the day. Do not go near him until Merlin and I return. Come with us right now, then backtrack through the woods, to help Frank. Then stay hidden and wait for us near the road and we'll return together. Remember, you are supposed to be out fishing with me.

Have Frank check that all of Julian's staff leave the estate. The falconer will be coming to Camelot with the falcons. So, if Gaëtan is unable to travel by the time we leave, he can bring the falcons and the boy with him.

Best of luck, remember look after yourself first and then the boy second. We'll see you mid afternoon. Be careful, Camelot needs you."

They had already reached the stables. They mounted and the three of them left as if to go fishing. Once into the woods, Humphrey dismounted. Arthur and Merlin leading his horse, continuing on their way as Humphrey went through the woods back to the kitchen.

"I feel as much like going fishing as I do hunting."

Arthur laughed, "Well, then it is going to be a long five hours for you."

"Not really, I am going to roll myself up in a pile of leaves and sleep."

"All by yourself in a pile of leaves?"

Merlin looked at him, "I doubt that I will be alone for long..."

* * *

><p>Merlin looked around for a hollow and found one in the roots of a fir tree near the river. He filled it will pine needles and then hunted around and returned with armfuls of leaves. He settled to wait until his Lord and Master had had his fill of fishing. He dozed off.<p>

He woke to something touching him. He smiled. He opened his eyes expecting to see Arthur but glancing down, saw a rabbit lying across his thighs. He realised that he was probably blocking an entrance to its burrow. He didn't move, it was cute, it sat up and decided to wash its face. Merlin hoped that Arthur didn't creep up and decide to kill it; as he was in a precarious position for it to be clubbed by an overzealous hunter.

By the time Arthur had clumped up the bank, the rabbit had made a hasty departure. He looked at Merlin who was lying there laughing. "What's funny?"

"Nothing, really, I had a visitor but he left suddenly when he heard you."

Merlin seemed alright but Arthur was worried and asked, "Who was it?"

Merlin laughed saying, "Not a friend of yours. You are not well liked by his family and even his ancestors."

Arthur was puzzled. 'What enemy of his would visit Merlin and then leave him with a smile on his face?' He said, "Out with it, Merlin, if an enemy is in the woods, shouldn't I know about it?"

"Maybe not this time, he seemed very warm and friendly. We didn't talk much..."

"Was it Gawaine?"

Merlin burst out laughing and sat up. He grinned as he thought, 'Poor Gawaine, never too far from Arthur's mind, when he gets into protective mode.'

He rolled over and reached for the saddle bags and pulled out their lunch. They sat against a boulder and Merlin told him about his visitor.

"And it stayed there washing itself? Well, the next time I go hunting, I'll take you and you can act as bait and I won't have to bushwhack. Mind you, I'd have to be careful how I go about dispatching it, rather delicate situation..."

Merlin just grinned...


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16 : THE GOOD DIE YOUNG **

Riding back to Yewdene, Merlin said, "If I had been eighteen years younger than you when I first arrived in Camelot, would you have still liked me?"

"Merlin, for heaven's sake! Listen to yourself, that would have made you around two. You would have been a child. It's sometimes hard enough to like you now and you are only two years younger than me."

Arthur pulled back to avoid an intended a slap across the back of the head for that comment.

"Well, when Gaëtan was only two, Julian would have been twenty. That's eighteen years."

"But it doesn't work that way as the closer you get to being an adult there is less difference between mental ages for some people. You will never catch up to me mentally, no matter how hard you try." Arthur ducked in anticipation of retaliation then continued, "Say, you are forty-five and you marry someone of twenty-five. That is a twenty year difference but the lower you go in ages the stranger it sounds. When one was twenty-five the other was five. You can't really compare it. I guess that is where the saying, robbing the cradle, comes in."

"But, Gaetan wasn't old. He was only fourteen. So it must have been strange right? Why did nobody do anything about it?"

"Maybe nobody knew. Merlin, it really isn't your business. He is now twenty-two."

"Someone must have known but maybe they didn't care! What about his parents?"

Arthur shrugged, he felt sorry for the young man, he intended to help him but he was really much more interested in Merlin's and his relationship.

They were now closer to Yewdene and keeping any eye out for Humphrey. He whistled when he saw them and came out of the woods and mounted his horse which was carrying the fish.

"Sire, Julian's retinue left as expected and one servant had asked Frank if any of the staff had seen Gaëtan. When he'd said, 'Not that he had heard', the servant had under his breath said, 'Maybe, he'll be better off. Good luck to him.' He must have passed the message on, as the group left. I checked on the hurt servant, he was still unconscious when I left to meet up with you."

The three of them continued and finally walked into the stable yard.

Henry came forward to take the horses and Humphrey was able to show him and the other stable staff, the fish as proof that they had had a good day. Arthur and Merlin walked to the house, Merlin as a well-trained servant keeping two steps behind his master. They didn't know if anyone in the house might be on Julian's payroll.

Later, Arthur sent Merlin to the falconer under the pretense of his wanting him to check on preparation for moving them to Camelot or something. They made their way to the mews and Merlin was shocked at seeing the condition of the other young man. He realised that he had again been beaten since Arthur has seen him at supper. His clothes were wet from having been out all night. Humphrey had covered him with a blanket but he really needed proper care. The falconer drew water because Merlin had come with some salves and clean clothes.

He was pretty sure that Gaëtan had broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. He was sure there were possibly internal injuries. He was bloodied and bruised but by the time Merlin had finished, he had opened his eyes and whispered, "Aides-moi, Merlin?"

Merlin leaned over him and said slowly. "Tu est sain et sauf. Stay here and keep quiet. Prince Arthur and I are going to help you. You can trust this man, he is the falconer and you will stay with the falcons until we come to get you tonight."

Gaëtan nodded and closed his eyes.

Merlin stepped out of the mews and the falconer with a bird on his hand stood talking to further convince anyone watching that Merlin was there for a valid reason.

Merlin returned to the house and sat waiting, listening to Frank talking to Arthur. "No, we have had no new staff members since Lord Mawley died. I would vouch for them all. Yes, there's an empty servant's room next to Humphrey's."

The plan was simple. Under dark of night so as not to involve any other servants, Frank, Humphrey and the falconer would bring Gaëtan back to the manor house. Merlin would help them, Arthur would wait in his rooms for news. No one wanted him there, as it would be difficult if Julian ever challenged his involvement.

They agreed on three hours prior to daylight. Everyone should be asleep and they could move him.

* * *

><p>Merlin finally crawled back to the chambers a little before dawn, Arthur was asleep, Merlin slipped in beside him fully clothed. Arthur rolled over to him. He smiled and said, "Merlin..." and Merlin ducked his head. He burrowed into Arthur's chest and Arthur wrapped his arms around him, something had happened. How could someone so strong and so brave be so emotional? Would he want it any different? No, it was what made Merlin who he was and what made Arthur a much better person because of it.<p>

Arthur lay quietly, holding him and softly murmuring that everything was alright as they were together. Knowing that when he was ready, he would let him in, let him know what had happened.

After what seemed like ages, Merlin moved his head off Arthur's chest and whispered, "He's dead! When I went back to the mews, he was asleep. I tried to wake him, to tell him we were going to move him but I couldn't rouse him. I knew he was dying so I just sat beside him and held his hand and told him, 'Il te soulevera sur les ailes des aigles et te tiendra dans la paume de Sa main.' Arthur, he opened his eyes, looked at me, smiled and died."

Arthur thought Hunith's favourite, 'He shall take you up on eagle's wings and hold you in the palm of His hand'.

"Humphrey and Frank dug a grave in the woods and we moved him there. Will we ever be able to let his parents know that he was not alone when he died?"

Arthur leaned down and kissed Merlin's head. The world was a better place because people like Merlin cared and loved others and he knew that he was recipient of this care and love and he only hoped that he gave the care and love Merlin deserved in return.

Merlin fell asleep, Arthur finally got up and slipped off his boots and his jacket and wrapped him tightly in the blankets. He went to the window and watched the first rays of the sun lighten the sky above the stables. They had tried, at least he had known that Merlin had come back for him. Arthur took out paper and dipped the quill pen in the inkpot, thought about it and then wrote down the sequence of events. He listed all the witnesses. It was manslaughter probably due to multiple attacks. He'd check with Merlin but he felt that Geoffrey should be informed. He'd fight against seeing this lovely home go to a murderer.

* * *

><p>The following day was very quiet, everyone in the house was subdued. Death was not a commoner in these people's lives but the brutal death of one so young had shocked them especially as he had indirectly been a guest of Sir Geoffrey. The news of the death had not been hidden, the staff had to be protected from Julian should he ever return. They would be able to acknowledge that the man had been found, died and been buried.<p>

Merlin finally rolled out of bed at noon. He looked awful but Arthur had ordered hot water, which Humphrey delivered. He convinced Merlin that a bath would make him feel better and sat with him as he soaked discussing the sadness of some people's lives.

"Do you think he was happy?"

"I would think that when Julian wasn't beating him up, yes, he probably felt happy."

"Will Julian now go and find another boy to take his place?"

"I don't know, it's hard to figure out what someone like that might do next. Hopefully, he will find someone who is an adult and has a choice."

Merlin nodded but Arthur knew deep down, the likelihood was that another boy would be forced into service.

Merlin was quiet for a while and then said that if Gaius had been there things would have been different. However, Arthur had seen the condition of the man at supper and if he had again been the recipient of a further beating, then thrown outside overnight, he was not surprised that he had succumbed to his injuries.

Arthur listened as Merlin, mind racing, was planning unbelievable revenge against Julian but then he looked at Arthur's worried face and said, "Not really. It just makes me feel better."

They had a light lunch in the solar as the many windows meant that they were able to take full advantage of the sun. As it was such a beautiful day, they wandered down to the mews to thank the falconer for his help and Arthur took time to learn the names of his latest acquisitions.

They sat in the water gardens and Merlin challenged Arthur to catch one of the fish in the pond. He refused but Merlin let his hands trail in the water and laughed as the fish sucked on his fingers figuring they were food. "This big one must be called Arthur as he latches on like you do."

"Are you insinuating that my affectionate advances are no better than a fish's? I think this evening you could do with a little refresher course in Love 101."

"Oh, yes please, Arthur, that's a course I would be willing to take daily."

Arthur laughed and pretended to push him off the bench and then had to hang onto him just in case he fell!

Merlin decided that walled gardens with secluded areas might be the next best thing to turret rooms!

* * *

><p>In the middle of the night following an exhaustive evening course with Professer Emeritus Pendragon, Merlin woke Arthur unable to sleep and wanting to talk.<p>

"Are you going to tell Geoffrey?"

"I feel I have a duty, to at least lay the facts in front of him."

"Will he be able to do anything about Gaëtan's death?"

"I doubt it but at least he will be able to consider changing his will."

"Good! That's settled, now I'll go back to sleep." With that Merlin, moved in for a kiss, then snuggled into him and soon fell asleep, Arthur was now wide awake, concerned about how he would approach Geoffrey about his only brother's son. He'd run it by Gaius first. Poor Gaius, who had so much to do and here he was going to give him something else to worry about."

Thunder, lightening and rain lashing the windows, woke Merlin. It was only early and he snuggled back into Arthur thinking, 'Good. No need to get up, we can stay in bed as long as we want or until Humphrey's discreet tapping at the suite door wakes us, that is unless we are otherwise occupied!'

Thursday was market day. Arthur and Merlin decided to go to see if there was anything Merlin could pick up for Gaius. On one stall, he found a rough, grey, fist sized stone which had been cut in half and inside it was almost hollow but with many, light purple crystals. He was convinced that this would interest Gaius. Of course, he only had the money in his purse which Arthur had given him for sundries.

"Arthur, may I buy this for Gaius, with the sundries' money. I've never seen anything like it before."

The women selling it could only say that her late husband who was a traveler had collected things like that and she now could do with money,"

Arthur asked her if she intended selling anything else. She smiled and said that if she knew someone who would enjoy them as her husband had, she'd consider selling them. They got directions to her home and later that afternoon went to see the collection.

Even Arthur was impressed, he'd seen stones in his life but these were little treasures, some were shot with gold, others sparkled like ladies' jewellery. There were various pieces which Merlin said were quartz. One stone had a multitude of colours. Arthur smiled, he looked at Merlin, whose face was lit up realizing that Gaius would be fascinated with these little gifts from Mother Nature.

Arthur asked the women to tell him what she thought was a fair price for the whole collection. She closed her eyes and thought. She named her price and Merlin was surprised, all that for stones. Arthur remembered the look of delight on his face and he put out his hand and agreed on the price. He placed the money on her table, as she and Merlin put all the gems back into leather bags. She looked up smiled at Arthur and said, "Thank you, kind sir, getting through the winter was going to be a little difficult but now I have plenty to see me through until Spring.

As he left the cottage, Merlin thanked her and promised that her husband's treasures would be well looked after. Arthur reached over and handed her an additional three silver coins. Motioning to the three little people who were asleep in the bed, he said, "For them!"

The look on Merlin's face was a joy to behold, Arthur realised that giving certainly was sometimes better than receiving. He laughed, "So, now I guess you are just dying to get home."

"Well, just to see Gaius's face when he sees these treasures and then I'd be willing to go away again. Regardless of what went on recently, it was a good holiday. But next time, remember it's the seaside and donkeys!"

They walked back to the house and Merlin laid all the stones on a library table and went to see if he could find a book which would help identify them. He came up with quite a list, the striped ones were a tigers eye and malachite. He was able to identify obsidian, turquoise and amethyst. Arthur's favourite, the blue with gold piece was, he thought a lapis lazuli. His favourite was something he knew, from Gaius's books, a piece of amber with what looked like a seed and a little bug in it.

Arthur left him to it and went with Humphrey to see Gaëtan's grave. He stood there thinking of all the young boys who are forced into situations over which they have no control and were at the mercy of older men until they were often just thrown by the wayside when a younger favourite came along. He remembered the sickening time at thirteen when Uther had allowed a knight to punish him and the man had sexually abused him and he thanked God that he had had Gaius to take care of him. He wondered how different the dead man's life would have been if Julian had not come along. He didn't relish discussing this with Geoffrey but he would. Someone had to take a stand.

When he returned, Merlin was waiting in his chamber worried. "You went off and didn't tell me where you were going, I was afraid Julian had come back then I realised you were with Humphrey but didn't know where you were."

"Just getting organised with Humphrey for our departure," Arthur lied.

Supper was served and sitting in front of the blazing fire, they discussed their holiday. Tomorrow, they would be making their way home.

"Come to think of it, I will take a pair of merlins back with us. They can travel in a box on the pack horse. Anything, you want to bring from here? A fish from the garden ponds, maybe for the castle cook?"

"You certainly have a strange sense of what is amusing. Are the birds also for the kitchen?" Merlin adroitly ducked an incoming missile, spun around pinning Arthur to his chair and he proceeded, ever so lovingly to punish him for his unkind remarks about the fish.

"If all punishments were this sweet, I think that I would happily live in the dungeons as long as you were the royal gaoler."

"And I'd live in the turret tower so, never our paths would cross."

"Well, maybe if I had a weekend pass, I could come and visit you."

"What spend a night with a common criminal? Not likely! My love belongs to one person and he, I'll have you know, is a Crown Prince."

"Don't be silly! Why would a Crown Prince be in love with a commoner?"

Merlin grinned at him and said, "Maybe Sire, because of this..."

Later, they lay in bed watching the firelight fighting the moonlight for dominance. The moon flooded the bed and they decided that it was the victor.

"Merlin, you're 'Bathed in Moonlight' again!"

Merlin smiled "Blessed by the Moon, loved by each other, from now until forever..."

Arthur's mind flashed back two years to that night in Cave Two when they were returning from sharing their news with Hunith. New love in such a big world, he hoped that it would be forever. He kissed the nearest part of Merlin which happened to be his ear and went to sleep.

* * *

><p>It was just light when Merlin woke him.<p>

Arthur laughed, "Do you remember Tosh asking how we knew when it was time to get up, in a cave and you said, 'The sun... wakes us up...' Merlin, I don't see any sun, so why did you wake me up? ...Oh, I see...!

Later, they lay in each other's arms, day dreaming and reminiscing. Arthur finally got out of the bed and said, "It's our last day, come on, you get to choose what we do."

Merlin snuggled back under the blankets and said, "Bed...breakfast! Bed...lunch! Bed...supper! ...and then more bed."

Arthur said, "I'm not wasting a day in bed." And with that he whipped the blankets off Merlin and dropped them off the end of the bed. Merlin trying unsuccessfully to grab them with his feet but he couldn't so he gave in and got up. He opened the servants' door and the hot water was on the floor. He carried it in.

"One day, Merlin, you're going to get caught going to the door like that. You'll open it, they'll be a scream and our breakfast and the little maidservant will go tumbling backwards down the stairs."

Merlin ignored Arthur and carried the water through to the water closet and filled the ewer. He was strolling back when there was a discreet knock at their suite door. He raced for the bedchamber and grabbed a dressing gown. Arthur was in stitches, Merlin made a face at him and padded back to the door.

Humphrey was there. He handed a message for Arthur which had just arrived from Camelot. "The messenger will breakfast with Henry and if needed will return with the prince's reply immediately."

Arthur had been listening to the exchange and when Merlin walked into the room, reached for the missive. He read it and handed it to Merlin. It was from Geoffrey, basically, he had heard some unsettling things about Yewdene from a friend, he hoped that they were all right and would await their return with impatience. There would be no need to reply to this missive as he would see them by the end of the week.

"Well, bad news certainly travels fast. It's a good thing we are going tomorrow as we can put Geoffrey's mind at ease. I'm sure he has already spoken to Gaius so he will also be wondering what has been going on here."

Merlin said, "Do you think it is about the Julian fiasco? Maybe you won't have to broach the subject as he will have all the questions and you will only have to supply the answers."

"Go down and tell Humphrey, there will be no reply and say that the messenger can return with us tomorrow. It'll give his horse a rest."

Merlin stood up to go immediately.

"Excuse me, are you forgetting something?"

"What? I'm no longer naked, I have a dressing gown on!"

"Merlin, you are _not_ leaving the room like that."

Merlin smiled and slipped out of his dressing gown. "OK, is this what you want?"

"Yes...but maybe later!" Arthur said with a grin. "Get properly dressed, then check to see if the breakfast is there, go down and give my message to Humphrey and then we'll sort out an answer to that last question of yours!"

"Yes, Sire!" said Merlin and went to get some clothes on.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17: GEOFFREY'S BEQUEST**

Arthur left Yewdene with mixed feelings, he wanted to get back to see Gaius and Geoffrey; he was however worried leaving Frank, Bessie and the others in case Julian decided to return. He had made sure that Frank and Bessie received monetary gifts when he left. They had been solicitous and capable and he knew that Geoffrey would be proud of them.

Merlin and he led the way back up into the hills. The cook had sent them off with enough food for two days when Camelot was close enough that they would only really need to have lunch. The day was beautiful and it was the perfect ending to a holiday. He tried to think about only the good things but whenever he glanced at Merlin, Gaëtan's face kept slipping into his mind and he knew that delicate matters would have to be discussed with Geoffrey. He decided he would have Merlin with him to tell first hand, what he had been told by the young man.

Before they had left, the falconer true to his word, had arrived with the travelling box containing two hooded falcons. It was now secured on the packhorse. He was waiting to see Roger's face when the new additions arrived.

Merlin had the stones on his person as he was worried that they would get lost in his luggage. Arthur had insisted on patting his hips, telling him that he had some strange growths which had apparently appeared overnight and he would insist that he show them to Gaius. Merlin just shook his head and smiled but he was careful that the bags stayed on his thighs as Arthur said, "Watch those bags as if you sit on one, you will surely rise!"

"Better being on the way up in life than on the way down..." Then he started to laugh and leant over to Arthur and said quietly, "As you were that day in the bath?"

"You had taken advantage of me, I was not forewarned that you intended to attack!"

"Arthur, any enemy which forewarns, has missed the whole point of surprise. Watch out as I feel myself building into attack mode. Could get rather nasty tonight..."

"Bring it on, Merlin! As Crown Prince, I am prepared in more ways than one."

"Is that right, Defender of the Bedchamber. See you on the battlefield!"

Arthur and Merlin decided to canter ahead. He didn't want the packhorse's precious cargo jostled, so he said to the others, "We'll see you at the big oak."

Merlin suddenly yelped, Gidun jumped and Arthur almost rolled off Mulgan laughing. "Migrating rock was it, Merlin?"

Merlin wriggled in the saddle and said that everything was back in place again. "Maybe, I should have put them in with the luggage."

"Some people are able to learn by example but some other poor souls need to learn be experience."

"And I presume you are insinuating that you are one of the former and I am one of the latter?"

"Merlin Love, you just proved it!"

They dismounted when they got to the large oak tree, to wait for the others. It must have been over two hundred years old, a mighty oak. Merlin thought of all the changes that it had witnessed and possibly many more before it would die. He leant over and kissed Arthur, then smiled to himself. Just another memory for the tree, the day it was visited by the Crown Prince and the Warlock.

They stopped there for lunch and sat around as a group. Humphrey was quite relaxed with Arthur as he'd been with him for many years. The groom and messenger hardly said anything but they would tell their families that they had eaten with the prince and that he was everything that everybody said he was.

They continued on to Camelot. Merlin and Arthur raced across the pasture below the castle but not before Arthur had told Merlin to make sure all his jewels were in the right place.

Merlin shook his head blushing!

* * *

><p>Camelot, as they rode into the courtyard looked spectacular. It was beautiful, after time away, you again marvelled at its architecture, the colour of the stone, the symmetry of the courtyard and its wonderful turrets. Arthur was glad to be home. Merlin dismounted carefully and Arthur grinned at him, whispering "One of the best teachers is experience..."<p>

A groom took their horses. Humphrey had already gone directly to the stable yard with the luggage. Arthur had told him to carefully deliver the merlins to Roger. Their clothing would appear in their bedchamber fresh and laundered within two days.

Gaius came down to meet them and hugged them both. "Welcome home, Sire! I have told Geoffrey that you will speak to him tomorrow. You need time to settle in and an early night."

Arthur turned to Merlin saying, "See, Gaius recommends, an early night and time to settle in. Notice, that he didn't mention war games!"

"Don't let your guard down as I can never be trusted when I feel like this," Merlin countered with a grin.

Gaius just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, thinking, 'Things hadn't changed over their holidays...'

Arthur knew he was in trouble, even before they mounted the stairs as Merlin reached behind Gaius and whacked him with one of the bags of stones.

They went first to Gaius's chambers and Merlin made him sit at the table. He cleared a space in front of him and emptied the bags of semiprecious stones. As Arthur knew he would be, Gaius was speechless. His eyes roamed from one stone to another. He'd pick one up feeling it between his thumb and index finger, staring at it under his magnifying lens and then his eye would be caught by another one. He repeated the actions, again and again.

He looked up smiling, "Did these come from Yewdene, were they among Sir Mawley's possessions?"

Merlin laughed, "No, Arthur bought them for you."

"Arthur, wherever did you find such treasures?"

Arthur explained about the widow, how she was hard up and had agreed to sell them, as long as they were going to someone who would enjoy and love them.

Gaius looked up and smiled.

"...and," said Merlin, "We knew that the person was you."

"Arthur, I don't know how to thank you..."

"You don't owe me any thanks and Merlin has something else for you."

Merlin looked at Gaius and explained, "Well, Arthur had to advance me money from my wages which never seem to materialize." He paused to make a face at Arthur who smiling, half heartedly cuffed him across the back of the head. "But, I found this and knew, that it was meant for you."

He opened another leather pouch, placing the geode with its flat side down on the table. It just looked like a large split stone. "Go ahead, it's yours, pick it up."

Gaius reached over and grasped the half stone and turned it over. He gasped and his eyes were the widest, Merlin had ever seen them. He was thrilled, he had surprised Gaius!

"Merlin, I have only ever read about such things! Wherever did you find it? It's spectacular!"

Merlin mentioned it had been owned by the same lady from whom Arthur had subsequently bought all the other stones.

Gaius reverently placed the geode back on the table, stood up; went over to his bookshelves and started rifling through tomes searching for a specific one.

Merlin smiled at Arthur, "We might as well leave, as our presence is no longer required. He'll spend hours searching to find that specific information and then try to identify all the other gemstones."

"Just like someone else I know..." Arthur laughed and planted a kiss on his ear.

"Gaius, we'll see you tomorrow...don't forget to eat supper."

"Yes, that sounds about right," was the muffled reply as he returned to the table with a large book and sat down turning pages.

Arthur and Merlin walked back to their chambers on cloud nine. Merlin mentioning that it was always better to give than receive.

"Remember, that tonight!" Arthur said.

It was lovely being in their own bedchamber. Servants had been in and the fire was lit and there were pitchers of hot water. There was a knock at the door and Humphrey appeared, "Sire, I took the liberty of having hot water sent up and I would also like to be responsible for your supper tonight. He smiled in Merlin's direction, "You, young man, can resume complete duties tomorrow!"

Arthur smiled, "That is very kind of you. Thank you for the care you have given us over the last two weeks. I might need you again, once I report to Sir Geoffrey but I will let you know."

Humphrey bowed and said, "Very well, Sire," and left the room.

"Merlin, come here. Give me your hands."

Merlin had second thoughts but Arthur seemed to be serious. Examining each hand and finger, he said, "Oh Merlin, lady's hands after two weeks of no work." He kissed each palm and said, "How sad to see them become calloused, now that you will be working again as my manservant." He was always surprised that with all the work Merlin did, his hands had remained soft and he loved to tease him about it.

Merlin ran the back of his curled fingers across Arthur's cheek and then across his lips. Arthur leant his face into his hands. "That's it, Arthur. Just a little preview of what a prisoner might expect when captured by a soft-hearted victor."

"You wish!" was the only comment Arthur made.

Supper in their own room was special. Maybe their chambers were not as big as their wing in Yewdene but it was after all home!

* * *

><p>Morning came too soon and Arthur was not relishing telling Geoffrey the things which they had witnessed.<p>

Merlin was sort of back into manservant mode. He had put the food on the table and then told Arthur to help himself as he had to make the bed and tidy up the room as Arthur had dropped everything wherever he had taken it off. "Back to being a slob again," Merlin mused.

"That's why I have a manservant..."

"Do menservants ever go on strike?"

"Merlin for heavens sake, you have been back in service for three hours and at least one of those doesn't really count!"

Merlin grinned.

Dressed, and fortified by Merlin's presence, Arthur made his way down to the library. Martin as head librarian greeted him, asking if he had had a good holiday. Arthur nodded, "We both had a lovely time."

He asked Arthur to follow him as he explained that Geoffrey would see him in his private room.

"Did he say anything to you?"

"Yes, Sire, he gave me the letter to read and we discussed it at length. He was quite worried about the accusations. I would take it easy, as he is very upset about the situation, yet relieved that his brother William never lived long enough to see this side of his son."

"I will. With Geoffrey's permission, I think I would like you to join Merlin and me. Could you arrange for some refreshments to be sent in later? Also see if Gaius can drop by, I'm worried that it might be too much for Geoffrey to take in and he'll need to see a friendly face. We have a lot to talk about."

Arthur and Merlin waited until Martin had sent the messages with a squire. Then the three of them walked to the end of the library and turned into Geoffrey's office, Arthur tapping on the door first. Geoffrey rose to greet them. Merlin realised that he looked older than when they had left only a fortnight ago.

"Sire, I am so sorry that my family disgraced itself while you were my honoured guest."

Arthur walked across the room and clasped the man's hands and said, "Yewdene and your staff were as wonderful as ever. Merlin and I had a lovely holiday."

"Arthur, sit down, you too, Merlin." He motioned to some chairs around the table.

"I asked Merlin to join me because I wanted you to hear certain things first hand and I think Martin's input might also be useful."

"He has been very kind, as you can imagine, I was in shock upon receiving the missive from my friend. Tell me, Arthur, what exactly happened?"

Arthur first told Geoffrey that all of his staff was safe, They had been very helpful when things had started to go wrong and they deserved credit for their willingness to help.

Geoffrey passed to Arthur the missive, he had received from a friend living in the area, repeating what Merlin and he had heard at the pub and what they had subsequently figured out. Merlin then had a chance to read it and he handed it back to Geoffrey.

Arthur detailed Julian's arrival and how pleasant he was. He mentioned that he had brought quite a few servants including a young French man called Gaëtan, whose duties seemed questionable as he just seemed to shadow Julian. He went on to explain that one day he and Julian had gone off hunting. Neither Merlin, who really didn't think much of hunting... He raised an eyebrow at Merlin before continuing, nor Gaëtan were in the hunting party.

As Merlin took over, Gaius walked in and took a seat, nodding at Geoffrey. Merlin explained that Gaëtan had sought him out in the garden enquiring if his position in Arthur's household was the same as his in Julian's. Blushing, Merlin faltered.

Arthur leaned over and put his hand on his shoulder and said, "Go ahead, Merlin, we're with friends."

Continuing but glancing only at the table and occasionally at Arthur, Merlin gave a full account of his conversation with the young man. Geoffrey stiffened a couple of times but then relaxed and told him to continue.

Merlin finished by telling him of Julian's fury and Gaëtan's reference to 'pain on the horizon' and then his being manhandled across the lawn to the manor house.

Arthur picked up relating the supper scenario. He stopped not wanting to embarrass Geoffrey but he insisted that he continue sparing no details. He cringed as Arthur described Gaëtan's condition and Julian's seemingly, pride in what he had done. Arthur also mentioned the pleading smile directed at him as the young man followed Julian back to his chambers. Merlin shuddered, he was not comfortable with the story.

Geoffrey asked him to continue. Arthur pulled out the notes he had made and explained that the young man had been found in the kitchen yards, where he had obviously been dumped during the night. He told Geoffrey that Frank and Humphrey had put him in the cellar waiting for an all clear to move him somewhere else as they were worried about Julian conducting a house search. He was finally moved to the mews.

One of Julian's menservants came to enquire if anyone had seen him and when he was told, no one had. Frank heard him say, 'Maybe, he'll be better off. Good luck to him.'

"It's not good news," said Arthur. "Gaëtan died early the next morning, Merlin was with him. Frank and Humphrey buried him in the woods."

Geoffrey looked distressed and Arthur nodded at Martin who went to get the wine and fruit which had arrived from the kitchen. Gaius moved and sat next to his old friend.

"Did anyone else seem to know about it?"

Arthur told him of the conversation Merlin and he had overheard in the pub.

Geoffrey closed his eyes in pain. All his plans for Yewdene were dashed to the ground.

"He also said something at supper, the first night. He confided in me that his sons were really more French than English but as he was free to travel whenever he wanted, if they were happy to remain in France that suited him."

"Did he mention his wife?"

"Nothing beyond that her name was Claudine. I just had a feeling that there was something more than the words he used."

Gaius spoke up. "Arthur, I think that Geoffrey has more than enough information. Maybe you could return tomorrow when he has had a chance to digest some of it."

Geoffrey interrupted, "Just one thing, Merlin, did this Gaëtan strike you as a nice lad?"

Merlin spoke up, "He seemed very immature but yes, Geoffrey, he was nice."

Arthur stood up, Merlin and he left the room. Geoffrey had his head in his hands and Merlin would have sworn that he was crying.

Walking back up the stairs, Merlin said, "Maybe it wasn't so much the sins of the father as the sins of the son!"

They entered the chamber and Humphrey had already set the table and lunch was there. He said, "Sire," and left them alone.

"I don't want to go through that again. It was sad enough the first time but seeing Geoffrey so upset was awful. Arthur, what do you think he will do?"

"I don't think he can do anything except give Yewdene to someone else and change his will. He has another nephew and a niece, his sister's children and although Julian is the oldest, he could leave his estate to one of them."

"I'm glad I don't have any possessions as really they are such problems."

"You have Gidun and me."

"Yes! ...and in that order."

A grape flew across the table and hit him in the head. He looked across at Arthur and smiled...

* * *

><p>Gaius stopped by later that afternoon, "I'm glad you asked me to sit in on the meeting. Geoffrey took it really badly. I escorted him up to his bedchamber and gave him a potion to settle his nerves. His manservant is keeping an eye on him. He is so thankful that his parents and his brother are dead and will never know the disgrace Julian has brought to the family. He couldn't stop mentioned how glad he was that you were there."<p>

"We didn't do much, Gaius."

"Well he was thankful that Merlin had been with the young man. I think he feels responsible for his death. I'll check in on him tomorrow, maybe you could send him the notes you made. He wanted to clarify a few points in his mind as he intends to communicate with the friend who sent him the information."

Gaius left and Arthur threw himself on the bed. He was feeling depressed and the overcast sky and rain wasn't helping.

Merlin came over and threw the fur-lined blanket over him and took off his boots, saying, "Your father will be expecting reports of your fortnight away from his overpowering rule! Why don't you rest until it's time to get dressed for supper?"

"Only if you'll lie here, quietly beside me."

"...beside you, anywhere, anytime, anyplace..."

* * *

><p>Arthur walked into the bed chamber after supper no brighter than he had been when he left. His father had not stopped talking about all the things that he had missed while he was away. He hadn't said much himself and finally asked permission to be excused, pleading exhaustion.<p>

The king sneered and said, "That must have been some holiday, if you came back in such a sour mood."

Richard the king's manservant had seen him to the door and said, "Sire, are you alright? Would you like me to send for Merlin?"

"No. Thank you for your concern, Richard, I can manage."

"Good Night, Sire!"

Arthur practically dragged himself back to his chambers. Merlin took one look at him and sat him on the bed removing his boots. He got him into his night shirt and pulled the blankets over him.

Arthur held out his hand and said "Merlin..."

Merlin slipped into bed and held him in his arms. Thinking, that he had been so brave and decisive while they were away... it had taken more out of him than he realised. He wrapped his arms around him and held him until they both fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Gaius dropped by during breakfast next morning and said that he had encouraged Geoffrey to spend another day in his chamber. He was still upset and slightly confused. The rest would do him good as he had a lot to think about and not being disturbed might make it easier.<p>

"Arthur, you seem rather quiet, are you alright?"

"Just a little tired, I think the situation played on my nerves."

"Take a day off training and take it easy. Merlin, see that he does! You should be alright by tomorrow."

Arthur actually sat in front of the fire dozing for the rest of the morning and then the sun came out and the weather brightened and so did Arthur. During lunch, he and Merlin went over what they had told Geoffrey and what else he might want to hear.

Arthur suddenly said, "Merlin, did we...you now...last night..."

"No, your finally 'Woken-Upness'!"

Arthur said, "I think we could have a couple of kisses and kuddles, don't you?"

"If you insist, Sire!"

Arthur actually smiled.

* * *

><p>Geoffrey had been thinking hard and long. He had made a big decision. He asked to see Arthur and that Merlin accompany him. They walked down to the library hoping that he was feeling better.<p>

Geoffrey looked like a different man, he was his old self, capable and determined. He was sitting at his desk behind a sheaf of papers. He motioned for them to sit.

"Arthur, I have made a decision which involves you. I am gifting Yewdene to you as a wedding present. It will be yours to have until you no longer want it. There are three conditions. First, is that the staff in residence remain until they die or decide to move away; second, in my Mother's memory there will always be merlins kept on the property and third if a bride is never in residence that is immaterial as it is for you and the person with whom you intend to spend the rest of your life."

Merlin felt tears forming in his eyes as Geoffrey glanced knowingly at him.

Arthur cleared his throat and said, "Geoffrey, I couldn't..."

"It has been decided. It is signed, witnessed and sealed."

Arthur glanced at the document and saw that Gaius and Sir Rupert were the witnesses, all he had to do was affix his signature and he would be taking a huge burden off Geoffrey's shoulders by accepting the most beautiful home in the world, his and Merlin's own Manor House.

Geoffrey came over to him and Arthur stood up and they hugged. "My boy, I was one of the first ones to hold you after my dear friend Gaius. I've known you all my life and I decided I wanted you to have my home. May it bring you as much pleasure and happy memories as it has me!"

They sat back at the table and Geoffrey explained how he was going to disperse of the rest of his property. It would be go to his sister's son with a monetary bequest to his neice. He was at peace with himself. He said that he felt a hundred years younger and actually, Merlin thought that he almost looked it.

They made their way back to their chambers. Arthur barred the door.

"Merlin, it's official, we have our very own home. I can't wait to tell Gaius!"

"Arthur, he knows he was one of the witnesses."

"Well, then Humphrey or Leon, I have to tell someone."

Merlin smiled, he was like a kid who had just got a present that he loved but had to share the news with friends to realise the full extent of his happiness.

He said to Arthur, with a teasing look, "Maybe you could tell the king or even Gawaine?"

"Not, bloody-well likely!"

**FINIS**

**In the future, this story will continue. At the moment, a sequel is being worked on for Rejected by Royalty, linking that story chronologically to Raining Cats and Lovers.**


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